Tales Told By Idiots

The contenders ‘round the table pushed their policies and plans;
Their attacks aimed at Obama were quite ruthless
Though they rang with sound and fury (well, according to their fans)
When examined, they were often nearly truthless

The claims made to a wide audience will stick around, even when they don’t hold up to examination in the harsh light of reality. Still, it is nice to see that someone is actually checking the truthfulness (vs. truthiness) of those claims.

No matter who the eventual winner, we can expect to see these claims again, and ought to be prepared. Of course, being prepared is not always enough (those of us old enough to remember Mondale’s response to Reagan’s “there you go again” are keenly aware of this).

Donors Choose: Feedback

Mrs. Holloway, Ms. Kelly, Mrs. Hickman, and Ms. Smith
Have each written to convey their deepest gratitude
So I thought I’d share their message, and I add my thanks as well,
I assure you, it is more than just a platitude.
But the contest isn’t finished; no, the battle’s just begun
Since Scicurious is mustering her readers—
Thus, I post this brief reminder, of the challenge and the stakes;
You know cuttlefish have never been conceders.
Lest we somehow grow complacent, and Sci’s minions start to surge
We must keep up with the pressure and donations
And no matter what the magnitude of victory for us
What’s at stake, for real, is children’s educations.

I go all NPR on you after the jump:
[Read more…]

Sir, Put The Souvenir Down And Walk Away

The war against terror and the war against christmas have opened a continuous front; the TSA is warning the flying public that they must not bring their snow globes with them, or they’ll be confiscated.

Snow globes.

Just in case, I suppose, the clear liquid is nitroglycerin.

I suspect the TSA hires grade schoolers, and asks them to come up with the coolest ways you could sneak explosives onto planes, then uses that feedback to generate policy. But this latest restriction pits Fox News against themselves–how do you support “all fear, all the time” if you are against the war on christmas?

Verse after the jump: [Read more…]

The False Divide

The faithful and the faithless are identical, in ways,
And it’s silliness to tease the two apart
The parsing of their language, the dissection of a phrase,
Needn’t mean they take these differences to heart
Denying evolution, or contending God’s behind it
Is just one of many issues, don’t you see?
If you simply look around you, why, agreement’s where you find it
And there’s lots of stuff on which we all agree.

Why, there’s levers, wedges, pulleys, all that simple physics stuff,
And the useful things that chemistry can find
And cellular biology—and isn’t that enough?
The important things that God Himself designed!
Though the evidence is plentiful, we part at evolution
And the big bang theory’s more than we can take
If we say that God’s behind it, that’s a reasonable solution
Though that’s not a move the atheists might make

Yes, the faithful and the faithless are identical, in ways,
Like bipedal locomotion, for a start.
There appears to be an equal part their nervous system plays
And they mostly have four chambers in their heart
We can list the similarities, though most of them are trivial,
Cos “trivial” is not the same as “wrong”
And claim that there’s no reason that we can’t all be convivial
No reason that we cannot get along

The majority of Christians have no qualms respecting science
Which apologists take pains to often note
The problem is, their tribal faith is where they put reliance
When their leadership reminds them how to vote.

Context and blather, after the jump:
[Read more…]

Headline Muse, 10/10

Philip Gardner was not a class cutter;
Didn’t sit in the back row and mutter
No, he spoke up in class!
But he did so, alas,
With a st-st-st-st-st-st-stutter

Headline: A Stutterer Faces Resistance, From the Front of the Class

A couple of thoughts. First, wow, what a great kid. Reminds me of a friend from a million years ago, freshman year at college. He had a profound stutter, which really got in the way of listening to his ideas. For about a week, until we all got used to it, slowed down, and did just fine. In his case, by our senior year his stutter was gone. In the meantime, he was a great friend with great ideas that were well worth waiting for.

Second… I used to stutter, and still… stammer. My students say they don’t notice it–take it as a sign of passion about the topic–but once in a while I get stuck on “the” or “but” or “and” and can’t get away for at least a half dozen repetitions or more. It’s part of who I am; I notice it, take a deep breath, and continue. I find myself identifying much more with the student than with the teacher in this story, despite having now spent more of my life as a teacher than as a student. Well, literally, anyway.

Third… I kinda feel sorry for the instructor in this case. The story, and the comments, make him out to be the villain. He’s not, really. I do disagree with how he handled it, but I really don’t think his choices were indefensible. Just not the best.

Becoming An Atheist

You’ve started to question; the merest suggestion
Is making you queasy inside
The falsehood’s been busted; the people you trusted
To tell you the truth? Why, they lied!

You’re starting to find that you’re changing your mind
And it’s rapidly filling with doubts
You’ve opened your eyes, so it shouldn’t surprise,
Your religion is now on the outs

You’re feeling a hole where you once had a soul
Since you found it is all an illusion
Now the things that you feel have a difference—they’re real—
It was bound to create some confusion

In a bit of a lurch when you should be at church
You’ve instead got a morning of freedom
If it feels like a crime, you can donate your time
And your money to people who need ’em.

Or just lie there in bed, watching football instead
As reward for a busy week’s labors
Or make something to eat, for the house down the street
Cos it’s nice to be nice to your neighbors

If you’re feeling the loss of your crescent or cross
Which you wore round your neck every day
With your thoughts unconstrained, you’ll be freer unchained!
(Or you might try the atheist “A”)

When it’s time to go vote, though the church may promote,
Just ignore them and think for yourself
There is no need to look in a dusty old book
So the bible can stay on your shelf

As your freethinking world, like a flag that’s unfurled
Opens up to display all its glory
With your thinking now freed, look around you and read–
And the truth is a much nicer story

When you free up your thoughts from the church-imposed ‘oughts’
And insistance that free thought is sinning
The wonder around you may rightly astound you
And your new life is only beginning

Now with each passing day, old beliefs fade away,
And your new thoughts feel less and less odd
You’ll just go through your day in the usual way…
But no longer believe in a god.

Ok, Now It’s Personal

The intimidatingly brilliant Scicurious has challenged (or been challenged? It’s all so hazy) the Cuttlefish readership, in the Donors Choose competition.

Pity her, but don’t act on that pity. Crush her, or let her readers help her. I know we can win–I know my readers. Remember (as per this post), number of donors is crucial, so even small donations are very welcome (and yes, huge donations will also be tolerated).

The stakes couldn’t be higher: bragging rights, and drinks. And Sci has fired the first shot. “May the best vertebrate win” indeed. Them’s fightin’ words.

A vain and a thoughtless Scicurious
Wrote verse, in attempting to worrious
Her rhyme and her meter
Are working to beat her
And teachers of English are furious

Small Donations Gratefully Accepted

Okay, people. Time to get it in gear. There is some sort of competition going on that I have forgotten about, and the deadline is fast approaching. The competition is not the important thing (which I say because I haven’t the slightest chance of winning); what’s important is the kids.

So here’s the deal. Give what you can. Don’t be worried that you can’t give enough to help. Even small donations of a buck or two can have an impact. This is not just me channeling Cialdini and Schroeder (1976) [they found that asking for even minimal donations—even a penny can help—increased the overall take significantly], this is the actual truth. A story:

A number of years ago, I volunteered in Cuttledaughter’s class, to serialize a book (ok, a play) and read it, over the course of several Fridays, to the class. It was great fun for me, and for them (they got to do sound effects; I got to do lots of voices). The second Friday, some of the students showed up with copies of their own, to follow along. I talked to my local bookstore, and we found a Dover Books edition which the shop owner let me buy at cost, and as of the third week every kid in the classroom had his or her own copy. The thing is, the Dover Editions came to a couple of bucks each (or else I wouldn’t have been able to afford to give them). If your donation of just a buck or two allowed a classroom to buy a single copy of a book of poems, that one book can help the entire classroom. One person, reading aloud from a cheap book of poetry, can move a roomful of kids. (In my case, the number of people listening grew each week, as other people found an excuse to visit the classroom on Friday afternoons.)

So please, if you can, click on the Donors Choose widget and give, even if it is just a buck or two. I assure you, you will still be making a difference. The more of us there are, the bigger the difference.

And do it soon—I honestly have no idea when the competition thingy is ending, but I know it’s soon. (It’s not the month-long competition, but something over just a few days.) Edited to add—the contest ends Thursday the 13th, and it’s for number of donors, not amount of donation. So this time, the little people can kick ass!