To clean up the mess

Best headline of the day:

Man arrested for pouring syrup on sidewalk

Only in Canada eh?

Police were called around 10 a.m. Thursday, and found a strange “unknown, sticky liquid” covering a four-foot area on the corner of Summers Lane downtown, police say.

A city road crew had to be called in to clean up the liquid. “They think it might’ve been a syrup — maybe maple syrup,” said city spokesperson Kelly Anderson. “But they don’t know for sure what it was.”

Well why didn’t they taste it?

Witnesses pointed out the man they said was responsible, and police arrested the 56-year-old for mischief. “He caused resources to have to be deployed to clean this stuff up,” said Const. Steve Welton.

City crews had to lay down “absorbent material” to clean up the mess, Anderson said.

I bet it was honey. I bet I know where the honey came from, too.


  1. Josh, Official SpokesGay says

    Oh goodness. He caused “resources” “to be deployed.” Maybe we should give them counter terrorism funding.

  2. Al Dente says

    Well why didn’t they taste it?

    Are you going to stick something that’s been lying on a sidewalk into your mouth?

  3. says

    (I not only wouldn’t stick something that’s been lying on a sidewalk into my mouth, I also wouldn’t stick something sticky and unknown into my mouth. Something sticky and unknown that’s been lying on the sidewalk?

    You do the math.)

  4. Al Dente says

    Sorry, Ophelia. I tend to be rather literal minded and often that kind of joke flies right over me.

  5. Pierce R. Butler says

    Betcha it got rid of the skateboarders for a while – quite likely the original intention.

  6. says

    Well, if it was maple syrup, I’m shocked at such disrespectful treatment of so quintessential a Canadian symbol. Both on the part of the perpetrator, and of the authorities. ‘Absorbent material’? Really? There should be some approved, respectful way of dealing with this, seems to me. Like how worn flags are supposed to be ceremonially burned, damaged Korans buried…

    Possibly the ritual could be: set some trained beavers loose to lap it up?

    Well, assuming beavers even like the stuff, I guess.

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