Department of Stories that we suspect didn’t happen quite the way they were described.
The New York Post reports – or, rather, melodramatizes – a tale of an evil Grumpy Passenger being thrown off a plane during boarding because he was a demonic Enemy of Christmas.
The byline is Michael Liss, Daniel Prendergast and Philip Messing, which seems like a lot for such a tiny story (in both length and import). Maybe they’re all sock puppets of Bill O’Reilly, or Murdoch himself.
The man was waiting to board American Airlines Flight 1140 to Dallas when a cheerful gate agent began welcoming everyone with the Yuletide greeting while checking boarding passes.
The grumpy passenger, who appeared to be traveling alone, barked at the woman, “You shouldn’t say that because not everyone celebrates Christmas.”
The agent replied, “Well, what should I say then?”
“Don’t say, ‘Merry Christmas!’ ” the man shouted before brushing past her.
See what I mean? Already I don’t believe it. I don’t believe he shouted, and as for “brushing past her” – what was he supposed to do, wait for her to carry him?
Once on the plane, he was warmly greeted by a flight attendant who also wished him a “merry Christmas.” That was the last straw.
“Don’t say, ‘Merry Christmas!’ ” the man raged before lecturing the attendants and the pilot about their faux pas.
“Raged”? I don’t believe you, New York Post.
The crew tried to calm the unidentified man, but he refused to back down and continued hectoring them.
He was escorted off the plane as other fliers burst into cheers and applause.
And Tiny Tim broke his crutch over the Grumpy Man’s head.