Since when do judges tell people what they can name their babies?
The issue, at least as Child Support Magistrate Lu Ann Ballew saw it, was that the child’s name was “Messiah,” a moniker Ballew believes should be reserved only for Jesus Christ. Here’s local NBC affiliate station WBIR-TV with more of the judge’s logic:
“The word Messiah is a title and it’s a title that has only been earned by one person and that one person is Jesus Christ,” Judge Ballew said.
Nonsense. It’s the name of a very nice piece of music, and a lovely name for a baby. Besides, they can call the kid Messy for short. Think of all the fun they’ll have!
Apparently messiahs are like Highlanders.
And never mind all those Italians named Salvatore (Totò for short), or the Greeks named Christós or the Spanish-speakers named Jesús.
Earned? Who? The guy who practically bragged about how everything he had came from his father, the vast majority of which he hid in an offshore tax haven called the Kingdom of Heaven?
Messiah? You didn’t build that.
George Frideric Handel’s Messiah, accept no substitutes!
Or were you talking about something else?
Not to mention all the other self-proclaimed messiahs throughout history.
I wonder what Judge Ballew thinks when a Latino named Jesus comes into her court.
Which brings up a question I’ve often wondered: How did a Middle Eastern Jew get a Hispanic first name?
No kidding. Not only were there three at one time at Ypsilanti State Hospital, Michigan, but the psychiatrist who thought it would be cool to introduce the three to each other (three Jesi? It’s trinities all the way down) later apologised for his unethical behaviour, stating he had no right to “play god”.
Under my authority as a monkey capable of typing, granted by no one but exercised with vigor nevertheless, I declare Anthony K today’s winner of the internetz for comment #2. Huzzah!
As far as I know, “Messiah” (Hebrew for “anointed”) was a title that applied to any king of Israel (or, after the kingdom was divided, of Judah). For example In the Old Testament king Saul is frequently referred to as “the LORD’s anointed” or “Messiah” (mashiyach).
This judge was way out of bounds, but naming a kid “Messiah” is an incredibly stupid and short-sighted thing to do. Sometimes naming a kid can be a clear-cut act of abuse — as when one woman named her two daughters “Vagina” and “Pleasure,” and was ordered to rename them.
There’s a HUGE range of names available to give your kids, from a wide range of cultures and nationalities. There’s no excuse for giving your kid a name that sets him/her apart for even more mockery, bullyiing, ostracism and abuse than kids are normally in danger of.
I think it’s an awful name for a baby– who will, indeed, probably be known as Messy.
But I’m not too crazy about my own given name, either, to tell the truth. And it came right out of the bible, without my parents getting any grief about it.
As for Lu Ann– frankly, that sounds kind of tacky, don’t you think? So if you’re going to judge how other people name their children….
What, nobody made a “He’s not the Messiah, he’s a very naughty boy!” joke.
Trouble with Messy is that it is not distinctive enough. I have never known a kid who was not messy: in some way or stage in life.
Including me.
Oh, for the record, I completely agree with comment 9. The judge is right for very, very wrong reasons.
There was an electronic dance music duo in the 1990’s called Messiah. Their excellent first album, 21st Century Jesus (1993) has many samples taken from movies, but I don’t think any of them is from Highlander.
By the way, one of the bandmates was named Mark and the other was Ali.
Take that as you will.
If this child isn’t comfortable with the name Messiah, he can always use his middle name — ask Willard M. Romney. Or he can move to Utah and hang out with Brayden-Ty and Antrim Zeezrom and Confederate America and Johniffer and Justa Cowgirl and Miracles Precious One and Bridger A-10 and TrinityMichaelJosef and Daxson Ekewaka and MyLiege Elite and Paradise Sunrise and Shambertine Crille and Thankful Flood and Phakelikaydenicia and Tabernacle and Zaragrunudgeyon and Stormy Shepherd and MaddLynAlain and Saunsceneyouray and Superstar Five and Vyquetoriya Walkasheaqua and Traxton Tick and Orange and Noah-Lot and NaLa’DeLuhRay and VulvaMae and — oh, look here — Messiah Angel.
Ok, disclosure. My first name is sufficiently unusual that I was pilloried in various ways for it when I was small. At the (USA) 5th grade level, I was informed by an officious nun that my name was really Uuuu instead of Vvvv and that was how I would be known in school henceforth (enter my parents, who had an acrimonious discussion with Sister Armand, following which I retained my name). It is alwsys misspelled, even now. Nonetheless, I could not agree less with comments @9 and @13; the parents have a common-law right to name their kid and the judge has a first-amendment duty to refrain from imposing her religious stuff from the bench (oh, and there’s also not deciding cases that are not before her) . Some possibilities: the kid will find that what does not kill him makes him stronger; the parents will decide to change the name on their own; Messiah will be known as Mike (as Barack was Barry).
All I could think of when I saw this story was “He’s not the messiah! He’s a very naughty boy!”
Source for #17.
Is this the boy named Sue?
What about all the guys (and teddy bears) named Mohammed?
cactuswren @15
Someone wanted no doubt in anyone’s mind about what sex their daughter was. Unless VulvaMae is a boy, then all bets are off.
Wtf is Messiah different than any other Old Testament name? The word is not specific to Jesus (but it would be too much to expect a fundie to read their damn Bible). Sorry lady, your kid can’t be Moses or Moshe! He’s clearly not an angel, so Michael and Gabriel are right out. (As are Angel and Angela!)
RagingBee @9 – your concern is too late. Messiah is already an increasingly popular name.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/14/messiah-king-among-fastest-rising-baby-names-for-american-boys_n_3275136.html
If this child isn’t comfortable with the name Messiah, he can always use his middle name…
So it’s the victim’s responsibility to just suck it up and deal?
Here’s another idea: if you want to give your kid a ridiculous name, make THAT the middle name, so the kid can at least choose whether or not to mention it.
Nonetheless, I could not agree less with comments @9 and @13…
So you don’t agree that misnaming a kid can be harmful? Some sort of actual argument might be helpful here. Do you think it’s okay to name a kid “Vagina” or “Sputum” or “Sniveling Rat-Feced Git?”
And if you’re calling this a “common-law right,” are you sure you know what you’re talking about? Is there really no limit to what you can name your kid?
Cannot unhear Rod Stewart’s raspy lament.