The Stupid Is A Fiery Inferno of Unending Torment.


The CPAC Schedule is out, and if you value things like the integrity of your gut, you won’t go reading it. If you do decide to go look at all the things they have scheduled, you have been warned. There is one panel scheduled which is delighting the Twitterati, who are having all manner of fun with it:


If Heaven Has a Gate, A Wall, and Extreme Vetting, Why Can’t America? Moderator: Rep. Bob Beauprez (CO-10). Rep. Andy Biggs (AZ-5), Rep. Ken Buck (CO-4), Mike Gonzales, The Heritage Foundation, Helen Krieble, Vernon K. Krieble Foundation.

You can read some of the responses here. You’ll have to excuse me, I’m just going to go pound my head into a wall or something. Maybe I should go find a nuke so I’d have some weed to smoke.


  1. says

    So here’s the question…

    If the Christian god needs a gate and fence, I’m assuming he’s not omnipotent nor omniscient. In that case, is the gate and fence to keep people out… or keep them them in?

    Not that it’s a hard question. The god of the Bible is such a monster that “heaven” would have to be a prison.

  2. Dave, ex-Kwisatz Haderach says

    I read the schedule. That was a mistake. I feel nauseous. That is a terrifying amount of horrible wrapped up in a neat little package.

  3. says


    I read the schedule. That was a mistake. I feel nauseous.

    Had that effect on me, too. I’m desperately trying to not think about it.

  4. Kengi says

    I could understand this coming from a Jewish group, but I thought the whole idea of Jesus was to eliminate all that “extreme vetting” stuff in the Old Testament and boil entry down to a single question. Do you believe in the leader of heaven?

    So, wouldn’t the Christian version of our border gate be someone asking anyone who shows up “Do you believe Donald Trump exists?” Anyone who says “yes”, we just let in.

    Of course that implies any of the Christians attending CPAC have actually have read the New testament. And can think their way out of a wet paper bag.

  5. AlexanderZ says

    Further discussion: If heaven is populated by entirely by dead people, why can’t America?
    Panel hosted by Trump’s nuclear weapons advisor.

    I’m just kidding, of course. Trump doesn’t have a nuclear weapons advisor.

    My favorite part of the schedule: “Hold Their Feet to the Fire: Holding Elected Officials Accountable”
    I wonder if it will be attended by Marco Rubio and Michael Flynn.

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