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Dec 03 2012

Santorum finally gets a job he’s eminently qualified for

This is the kind of thing that makes me joke maybe there is a God and she loves me. Rick Santorum, wingnut extraordinaire, finally has a seat he’s completely qualified to sit in, right at the big table with the nuttiest crunchiest nutburgers in America. Man on Dog will now offer regular op-eds for the World Nut Daily and, true to form, you can almost hear the stealthy rotor-blades of black helicopters chopping the air in his first screed:

Raw Story – Santorum warned that a United Nations Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities treaty adopted in 2006 “has much darker and more troubling implications” than to simply improve the treatment of disabled people in other countries. The staunchly anti-abortion Republican worried that the treaty would “put the government, acting under U.N. authority, in the position to determine for all children with disabilities what is best for them.” And taking that thought to its absurd conclusion, Santorum suggested that the U.N. treaty would have meant the death of his daughter, who has a rare genetic disorder.

Do you SEE?! Mmm-yeees. It’s all right there in plain sight, clearly a program to help disabled children get access to life saving medical care is a secret plot to kill them. It all makes sense now doesn’t it?

Phase One: Medical Care for poor disabled children … … Phase Three: GENOCIDE!

Do you SEE?! Free medical care, sound FAMILIER? Mmm-yes, mmmmmm-yes … Do you SEE Now?!

10 comments

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  1. 1
    freebird

    Santorum to join WND? I see a book coming out in 3…2…1…

  2. 2
    Argle Bargle

    Santorum and WND, a match made in the garbage dump.

  3. 3
    StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return!

    Dang it! I thought this ideal job for Santorum was going to involve either sewage treatment or making gay porn somehow..

  4. 4
    thebookofdave

    It’s the best of both, StevoR! Santorum slings a frothy mixture of extra-nutty pablum slung out to thousands of assorted teabaggers and self-loathing gay homophobes nationwide. He gets job security, while the rest of us are treated to a realtime view of a clown college doctoral thesis being composed. Everybody benefits, except (once again) Jon Stewart, who can do little with a performance that lampoons itself and isn’t really newsworthy.

  5. 5
    abbeycadabra

    Mister Santorum, becoming. Do you see?

  6. 6
    bevstapleton

    StevoR-I think they do have both raw sewage and gay porn at WingNutDerper. That place is so scary I will not longer even give them a page click.

  7. 7
    birgerjohansson

    “Phase One: Medical Care for poor disabled children … … Phase Three: GENOCIDE!”

    (In the background, you can hear the theme of “the Undepants Gnomes”)

  8. 8
    comfychair

    Poor Ricky, what with being persecuted by appeals to basic human decency and by the very idea of civilization and all.

    In trying to figure out what the hell is going on inside these peoples’ heads one thing I keep coming back to is, does ‘Freedom is Slavery’ mean the same thing as ‘Slavery is Freedom’?

  9. 9
    Stephen "DarkSyde" Andrew

    I have found in my half century on this earth, that when I want to know what’s going on inside someone’s head, and I found out what’s going on inside someone’s head, it usually turns out I didn’t want to know after all.

  10. 10
    comfychair

    Yeah, and then there’s the possibility that you won’t understand it until you’re as crazy as they are, at which point any insight you gained would be totally wasted.

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