Them kids just ain’t right

Jaden and Willow Smith, the alien space children of Jada Pinkett Smith and Will Smith, have been interviewed by the New York Times. It is a phantasmagorical journey into the minds of two people who have never had to deal with reality, and spend all their time dwelling on shallow deepities. They croon about quantum physics, and how time doesn’t actually exist, because I can make it go slow or fast, however I please, and they dismiss other people’s books because There’re no novels that I like to read so I write my own novels, and then I read them again, and it’s the best thing. I kept reading to get to the part where their narcissism balloons to enormous size, and then gets sucked into their navels, and they disappear in a burst of solipsism, but it never happened, sadly.

I did get to read about their interpretation of development, though.

[Read more…]

The ‘evidence from comic book’ argument against evolution

Well, he did it: the Digital Cuttlefish found a novel argument against evolution. It has to be seen to be believed — this creationist is claiming that the X-Men disprove the theory of evolution.

Already you should be saying “It’s a comic book and a movie! It’s not real!”, and for a bonus you might point out that the biology of the X-Men franchise is ludicrously awful, and in general, the mass media don’t understand evolution, but let’s give him a chance. Let’s see this argument.

[Read more…]

The gay marriage probably forced him to do it

File this one under Baptist Ministers Reinforcing Stereotypes. Or maybe Bad Religious Jokes.

The president and CEO of a Missouri Baptist conference center is out of a job after a sheriff’s Cyber Crimes Task Force arrested him for allegedly arranging to have sex with a dog after posting an ad on Craigslist .

Jerald “Jerry” Hill, 56, of Camden County was arrested on Aug. 5th after setting up a meeting with an undercover officer for the purpose of having sex with a dog, according to the Columbia Daily Tribune.

They predicted gay marriage would lead to man-dog sex, but did he really have to personally work to fulfill prophecy?

What’s wrong with rainbow families?

A woman went to a fertility clinic for artificial insemination, and discovered a surprising stipulation. She’s white, so they’ll only allow her access to sperm from white men.

Dr. Calvin Greene, the clinic’s administrative director, confirmed the private facility will not treat couples or singles who insist on using donors of a different ethnicity. The policy has been in place since the clinic opened in the 1980s.

“I’m not sure that we should be creating rainbow families just because some single woman decides that that’s what she wants,” he said. “That’s her prerogative, but that’s not her prerogative in our clinic.”

A statement on the clinic’s website reads: “it is the practice of the Regional Fertility Program not to permit the use of a sperm donor that would result in a future child appearing racially different than the recipient or the recipient’s partner.”

“Rainbow families”? Does Canada have miscegenation laws, because this is the same thing.

Maybe there was a typo in the doctor’s statement. Perhaps these rules were formulated in the 1880s.

If you often stay in hotels, you might not want to read this

OK, I am officially squicked by this news: a body was found under a motel room bed.

Stunning news this morning out of New Jersey, as reports of police discovering the body of a young woman under a motel bed have been confirmed. The owners of the motel asked that their name and location be omitted from news reports to protect their business.

I’m sure they don’t want their name spread around: the body was in an advanced state of decay and the police estimated it had been lying there for five years. Customers and housekeepers complained about the smell frequently, but “it is not the policy of the company to make their housekeepers check under the beds”.

“Funny thing is, the records also show literally almost 1,000 complaints from people who stayed in the room over the years. Everything from a bad smell to an ‘eerie feeling.’ Several people even asked to switch rooms in the middle of the night,” said Goldsmith. “The motel really should have checked out that room a little more closely.”

You think?

The police are doing a disservice to the community by not revealing the name of the motel chain that has such awful maintenance practices.


Never mind. The story is from a so-called satirical site — I don’t understand how it was supposed to be funny, but OK, taste varies.

He will devour Mary Worth and Rex Morgan, MD last

It’s all over the news that Archie Comics is killing off Archie (sounds like a desperate bid to draw attention to a line that has been boring and moribund for decades). But why aren’t these same media outlets talking about the fate of another major character, Sabrina the Teenage Witch?

It’s a bit dark. She casts a spell that starts the zombie apocalypse, and then Dr Lovecraft marries her off to…Cthulhu.

sabrinasfate

brideofcthulhu

Did I say a bit dark? I meant very, very dark. Riverdale must be built over a hellmouth.