Now the spiders are leaving

Oh no. I was laughing at this very silly woman who claims the emergency phone alert system test the other day made everyone’s menstrual flow start. She has an n of 1, herself, and she admits that she doesn’t track her periods, so I don’t see the point. She doesn’t have any evidence at all for this claim, and I don’t see how a cell phone signal could trigger menstruation, so she lacks even a hypothetical mechanism.

And then we get to her chilling last line…

I checked the lab. No, they’re all there and are fine.

I’m also not menstruating.


  1. Walter Solomon says

    I definitely believe the spiders are leaving her house. I’m sure even they have some awareness of crazy and want to distance themselves from it.

  2. cgilder says

    I do need to relocate a mama spider and her egg sac, so any advice? She’s an Agelenopsis and decided that the ceiling corner above my kids’ shower was the best location for incubating this winter. It’s an old house, we have lots of spiders, and I’ve managed to get my kids to pretty much just acknowledge spiders’ existence in the room and ignore them, but spider maternity wards are a bridge too far for my 12y/o. So, how do you move a spider with her egg sac? And where do I move her to? While my youngest doesn’t want her in the bathroom, he’s horrified at the idea of putting her outside for the Montana winter. Basement? Would that be warm enough? Given that it’s an El Nino winter, I doubt we’ll get a cold snap that’s enough to drop it below freezing in the basement.

  3. wzrd1 says

    cgilder @ 2, I dunno, it’s a weird El Nino this year, the ocean temp’s been insanely hot and tossing tons of weather predictions into a cocked hat.
    That said, if the basement rarely gets below freezing, sounds like a best bet.

    @PZ, menstruating as well. I have farted since the alert, so obviously the EAS activation triggers flatulence or something.

    Had my veterans social worker by yesterday, made a wise crack about the world ending the previous day by the EAS test, she nearly lost her mind laughing. Apparently, she got bombarded with that insanity to the point of distraction and that just tickled her funny bone straight to the core.

  4. wzrd1 says

    Jeeze, I made the mistake of trying to play that video, now my screen’s got batshit all over it.

  5. robro says

    No menstruating but my prostrate gland may be kicking up a bit. Could there be a connection to the ESA test? If the PSA test being done right now on my blood comes back high, I’ll blame it on the ESA activation test.

  6. wzrd1 says

    PSA = ESA test?
    Sounds like a good start for a conspiracy theory involving toilets frequent usage and I dunno, a dime required to access the family toilet or something?

  7. Rob Grigjanis says

    My PSA has gone down a bit the last two times it was taken. Whatever caused that, keep it up!

  8. birgerjohansson says

    Having read Terry Pratchett’s book “Sourcery” (yes, the ‘u’ us supposed to be there) you really have to worry when the cockroaches are leaving the university, taking the mattresses and other homes with them.

  9. birgerjohansson says

    ..And if the hedgehogs have not left your garden yet, you need to take them in and let them spend the winter in your basement.

  10. hemidactylus says

    I banged my knee and a few toes against a door jam this morning. Must be the alerts’ effect on my vaccination status.

    Hopefully the alert triggered robust affinity maturational changes in my antibody genes and prevented the effects of antigenic original sin due to the Wuhan targeted ur-shots I got way back when.

    Not sure if the menstruation thing came very indirectly from:

    Seems a bit spotty though:

  11. numerobis says

    Oh, I thought it was the scalpel that caused me to bleed, but you’re saying it’s my cell phone?

  12. hemidactylus says

    @4- wzrd1
    I’ve been concerned about the hot ocean temps despite El Nino living upon America’s flaccid penis, but so far so good for me. Idalia hit the west side which sucked.

    Most storms went fishing this year, but people always focus on Africa and forget the CAG. Ironically Idalia was a Pacific into CAG and not a CVS storm. It’s about time for the shift to the Central American Gyre. So…

  13. StevoR says

    After the umpteenth Apocalypse / Rapture that wasn’t
    The X bazillionth time the Qanon prophecy failed
    The gazillionth lie has been made clear
    And events NOT gone as they claimed
    The guillible still believe
    Still follow
    And have the gall to call others sheeple
    And to somehow think that they actually think
    Better thn we do?

  14. birgerjohansson says

    StevoR @ 17
    Zeta Reticuli.
    The space spiders are coming!
    The space spiders are coming!

  15. StevoR says

    That binary star, 39 ly y away, with a dubious debris disk ( ) has spiders now? Huh.

    News to me.. Albeit it is at least a pair of G-ttype yellow dwarf suns..Vague memory of some Saucerist mythology /allusiuon here..

    (I ain’t scared o’noghosts spiders! Cue Ghostbusters music..)

  16. wzrd1 says

    hemidactylus @ 15, been tracking all of the storms and boy, but I’m glad most of those storms stayed out fishing.

    StevoR, Zeta Reticuli remains a diskless wonder.
    Such a quiet neighborhood though.

  17. wzrd1 says

    Callinectes @ 22, sorry, I was hungry…
    Lacking crabs, well there was an alternative. ;)
    I’ll just get my hat….