The cephalopods tried to stop him

Ted Cruz wrote “25 things you don’t know about me” — it’s got one interesting thing about him, and leaves off the most important point.

6. I was once bitten by an octopus at the beach and got terribly ill. (Yes, apparently octopuses can be poisonous.)

Yeah, dumbass.

But what I want to know is…forget Cruz, did the octopus survive its poisoning?

#TheTriggering lies limp and unable to perform

It probably doesn’t help when the targets of all your aggressive thrusting are laughing at you. This recent impotent effort by loud man-babies to be as offensive as possible on Twitter fizzled feebly, and here’s one good elegy for the fucked up mess.

I had a great deal of fun with #TheTriggering today, as did many of my most adamantly and bullishly feminist friends. It was a chance to point and laugh at an idea that could not have backfired any more spectacularly. But I think it’s also important to remember that while the planning and execution were pathetically bad, this was a plan born of genuine hatred and fear of women, people read as women, and anyone who supports their liberation and fair treatment.

The people behind #TheTriggering weren’t dauntless free speech advocates—just sad and spiteful little gremlins who genuinely think that trans people should die and women need to talk less.

Don’t get me wrong : that should definitely not stop you from mocking them. Mock early, mock often. Mock loudly and proudly and get all your friends to join in. Sometimes, the best cure for hatefulness is abject derision. Something to smile about: almost all of the top tweets in the hashtag are either people mocking the creators, or the creators getting mad at the people mocking them. It’s kinda beautiful, really. This really could not have gone any more wrong in any more predictable a way.

Just remember that in reality, safety and freedom from harassment and violence are no joke. It’s sad that there are people so devoted to a quixotic crusade against the perceived tyranny of “cultural Marxism” that they can’t see that.

Today in Responsible Gun Ownership

Jamie Gilt loves her guns. She has a page titled Jamie Gilt for Gun Sense. So you’d think she’d be a regular poster child for the NRA.

She’s in the hospital now because, as she was toodling down the Florida highways in her pickup truck, her four year old son found a .45 calibre pistol in the back seat, and plugged his mom right in the torso. She’s going to live, fortunately, and will be back to praising guns soon.

I’m not laughing. I’m just kind of staggered by the explosion of cliches I’ve now read.

For my birthday? I’m touched.

This is so sweet. The channers/gamergaters/MRAs/generic assholes have declared 9 March to be a special day.

lauren-the-triggering-date

What is this all about? They’re upset about serious issues like Milo Yiannopoulos’s missing blue checkmark, and how people sometimes (rarely) bet banned or blocked for harassment, so they’ve decided to go all out repulsive for a day. They have a simple plan.

To participate all you have to do is post the most vile and offensive things you can think of (within federal law), in defense of freedom of speech.

Oh, man, brilliant. That’ll convince the world these worthies must be given a louder voice.

Extropians, Kurzweil, Libertarians, and the deluded immortality scam

The story should begin with the victim. This is Kim Suozzi, 23 years old, and diagnosed with a terminal brain cancer that was going to kill her within a few months. She’s doomed and she knows it, so she has gone to Alcor, signed over her life insurance money, and asked to have her head frozen after death in the unlikely hope that someday, someone will be able to revive her. I feel a deep sadness for her; for someone so young, for anyone, to be confronted with an awful mortality is tragic.

She did die too soon after this video was made. And now we learn about the bumbling corpse mutilation that occurred afterwards.

You might want to stop reading right here. It’s a hard story, especially after seeing the young woman alive.

[Read more…]

D’Souza d’emonizes D’emocrats, again

Dinesh D’Souza is coming back to the big screen, with a new movie called Hillary’s America. It looks like a real loser. Watch for his persecution complex; the trailer includes clips of poor Dinesh in prison, surrounded by angry burly biker-type dudes, and looking rather pathetic. It all began when the Obama administration tried to shut me up, he says. It doesn’t mention that it wasn’t to shut him up, but to punish him for blatant violations of campaign finance laws. It also doesn’t mention, perhaps because it would diminish the drama of those scary gangsta dudes, that his sentence was served on probation. He wasn’t put in prison.

It’s all about those perfidious Democrats. The first words:

Who are these Democrats?

Then come scenes of the KKK and Andrew Jackson and corrupt politicians (didn’t I already tell you that Neiwert had rebutted that lie?), and it ends with the liberals’ dramatic scheme.

What if their plan was to…steal America?

Hang on there, Dinesh. You do realize that liberals already have as much right to America as you do, don’t you? We don’t have to steal it, we just have to share it.

Oh, well. One more movie I can skip.

NO! Don’t do it!

You might think that asking Donald Trump to expose himself is a joke, and it certainly has been treated as comedy.

But now, in all seriousness, Larry Flynt is asking Trump to submit proof.

So far we’ve only had your word that you have a huge penis. But there has been no objective authority who was made a verification of your claim. I am making you an offer that you must not refuse if anyone is to believe you. I have a team of doctors ready to contact the examination required to confirm your post. If you reject this offer, I can only conclude that you’re not the man you say you are and that you’re bragging about your penis size is this Friday at fraudulent as Trump University. Please contact me immediately. Sincerely, Larry Flynt.

So far we’ve only had your word that you have a huge penis. But there has been no objective authority who was made a verification of your claim. I am making you an offer that you must not refuse if anyone is to believe you. I have a team of doctors ready to contact the examination required to confirm your post. If you reject this offer, I can only conclude that you’re not the man you say you are and that you’re bragging about your penis size is this Friday at fraudulent as Trump University. Please contact me immediately. Sincerely, Larry Flynt.

I wish he hadn’t done that. Given the size of Trump’s ego, I’m afraid he might take Flynt up on that offer.

He’s being silenced…SILENCED! He shouted.

Milo Yiannopoulos is still upset that Twitter removed the little blue verification check mark from his profile. I don’t even get what that is for, how to apply for one, or why anyone would bother, but it’s very, very important to Milo, and he’s been complaining bitterly about it for the past month now. It is an attack on his free speech, don’t you know, and we all know how important it is to these wankers to be able to shriek in public.

Just so you know how important this is, Milo crashed a White House press conference to confront the press secretary. My verification check was taken away for making fun of the wrong group of people, he whined. This is a whole new level of obsession over petty trivia.

I’m speechless.

I think I’ll walk down to the coffeeshop for my morning pick-me-up, and they better not be out of bran muffins today — a man my age needs his fiber. But if they are, I’m just going to turn around and go to the airport, get a flight to Beijing, and demand that President Xi Jinping do something about it! So I might be distracted for a few days.


FYI: I made it to the coffeeshop, and they had ONE bran muffin left. It was so close. Jinping can count himself lucky tomorrow, that by such a narrow margin he has avoided an international incident as an outraged American stormed his office and demanded that he deal with the muffin shortfall.