It’s processed meat; they say it’s mutton— And that, of course, is that. No need to worry over nutton— It’s not (or is it?) rat. But rat it is, or fox, or mink, (And some of it’s diseased) Chinese officials made a stink And now it’s all been seized. Some twenty thousand tons of meat …
Category Archive: Food
Jan 09 2013
Updating The Menu (Halal Mermaid!)
Via Ed, we hear that there has been a change of dietary heart. Whereas it was apparently once the case that mermaid were officially (there was an official fatwa) off the menu, Ed reports that mermaids A) exist, and B) are halal. I really never thought I’d have the appropriate excuse to repost this one, …
Nov 22 2012
A Happy Thanksgiving
… because the cuttlekids are home. So, since I can’t cook a meal for you, a special side-dish here, serving as another reminder that what I do is not poetry, and that proper poetry is (or can be) delicious.
Nov 18 2012
Food Dreams
I found myself eating, last night, in a dream, These most wonderful scones, served with real clotted cream And a strawberry jam that was fit for a king… I awoke to a fridge that contained not a thing. … well, close, but not quite 100% accurate. The fridge has all sorts of things in it… …
Oct 27 2012
I’m Having Some Old Friends For Dinner
Update–Oh my word, that was wonderful! I thought about taking a pic of the final product, but foolishly took one bite first… and then ate it all. Braised for an hour to tenderize, then cut up and marinated overnight, then grilled just a little bit ago. And the Okto wine was the perfect accompaniment.
Sep 25 2012
Bacon Shortage Looms; Prices To Double Next Year
I can’t hear through the noise that I’m makin’ As the bones in my knees get to shakin’ It’s the worst news I’ve seen For Two Thousand Thirteen— We’ll be facing a shortage of bacon! We’ll pay more, or we’ll just do without But the shortage is real, there’s no doubt! The source of our …
Sep 02 2012
White House Secrets Released, Deemed “Delicious”
Something’s brewing at the White House But I see no need for fear They’ve released a vital secret— It’s their recipe for beer! There’s a White House Honey Porter And a White House Honey Ale; They’re in limited production And they will not be for sale If you’re really, really lucky You might have one …
Jun 01 2012
How Did I Miss This?!?!?
Today was, I just found out moments ago, National Donut (or Doughnut) Day, here in the US. How I missed it, though, is easily answered: I spent most of the day waiting while cars were repaired, to the tune of more money that I would have hoped for. Blech. So none of that! On to …
May 18 2012
Jesus Christ On A Popsicle Stick! (No, Really!)
There is nothing so distressing As an “inadvertent blessing” Which can leave an artist messing With the sacramental wine But Sebastian Errazuriz Made a Christcicle, which sure is Bound to piss off any purist Who considers Christ “divine” Is it art, or bad behavior, Making light of our dear Savior Though his crucifixion gave your …
May 05 2012
Cuttlefish’s Kitchen
This morning, Cuttlespouse left for a weekend with friends. Cuttlehouse is, of course, significantly quieter. To compensate, the stereo is considerably louder right now, playing music Cuttlespouse does not care for. Don’t worry–there is plenty of Cuttlespouse-approved music that I love, so this is not a sign of hardship on my part. But that’s not …
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