Although I do not like to boast
I sometimes get the itch:
I don’t eat avocado toast
And so I’m filthy rich.
I’ve learned to darn my stockings
And to cut my own damn hair
You must not find it shocking–
I’m a self-made millionaire!
A dollar here, a dollar there,
It isn’t even funny
It all adds up—it multiplies—
I’m swimming, now, in money!
Your money grows—you’ll need a vault—
You hardly need to try!
So, poverty’s your own damn fault…
It’s such a useful lie.
Just in case President trump is not enough evidence that the uber-wealthy are out of touch with the rest of us, Money magazine reports on a millionaire’s advice to millennials: Stop Buying Avocado Toast If You Want To Buy A Home.
Because anything other than insect-based protein bars (a la Snowpiercer) is a luxury, and luxuries are for those who have pulled themselves up by their own bootstraps and family-funded seed loans.
Cuttlecap tip to every damn person on Twitter. #AvocadoToast