I’m offended. You probably remember Sandra Fluke, the law student who received Rush Limbaugh’s slut shaming vitriol because she wanted to testify in front of Congress about the medical benefits of birth control. It’s hard to forget her, since assholes keep coming out of the woodwork to trash her and other women. Well, MRAs are now asserting that she’s an aggressive lesbian pirate because in a photograph it vaguely appears that her ring finger is longer than her pointer finger.
I’m offended. My pointer finger is slightly longer than my ring finger, but I’m totally an aggressive Kinsey 1 pirate. How dare they deny my identity on the basis on finger ratios alone!
Arrrr.
39 comments
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MLR
March 7, 2012 at 7:20 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Not that it really matters, but the digits on the left hand are noticeably less responsive to prenatal hormones, and that’s her left and in the image.
'Tis Himself, OM
March 7, 2012 at 7:48 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
It warms the cockles of my heart (whatever the hell they are) to see da youf acknowledging FSM dogma about the lack of pirates causing global warming.
michaeld
March 7, 2012 at 7:57 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Plus they hate tree kangaroos :( What did they ever do to them?
Paul Little
March 7, 2012 at 8:07 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
I always like to point out this: http://www.flickr.com/photos/gr8wight/sets/72157626569765899/
What side of her hand were they looking at?
carpenterman
March 7, 2012 at 8:19 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
These scurvy dogs need to be keel hauled and hung from the yardarm. And their timbers shivered, while we’re at it. And their booties pillaged and plundered. Arrr.*
*This metaphor has been abandoned.
F
March 7, 2012 at 8:34 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
OK, that’s about enough stupid assholery for me today.
Fuckin’ pirates, how do they work?!
RowanVT
March 7, 2012 at 8:37 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
O_o My ring finger is longer than my index finger… and I’m a heterosexual woman.
I am, however, an incredible ‘tomboy’ and my personality could probably be described as more stereotypically ‘masculine’ than ‘feminine’. *shrugs* But still. Finger length =/= sexual orientation.
michaeld
March 7, 2012 at 9:18 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
He’s a WITCH!
rilian
March 7, 2012 at 10:17 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
My ring fingers are both longer than the pointer fingers. Is that not normal?
RowanVT
March 7, 2012 at 10:35 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
That’s weeeeeird. My ring finger stays looking longer no matter which way my hand is turned.
Agent Smith
March 7, 2012 at 11:30 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
I have the perfect wrist to support a hook, and a shoulder so ideally suited for a parrot’s claws to rest upon that Pangloss would have added it to his anatomical rogue’s gallery of purposeful design.
But, alas, I refuse to pursue a life of nautical buccaneering. You could do it though, even if the wind insists on being your metacarpal Procrustes.
christophburschka
March 8, 2012 at 1:33 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
He’s a DUCK. And made of wood.
–
And seriously, they tried using “pirate” as an insult? Even for the copyright lobby, that backfired, and they’ve been doing it since at least 1603, well before Hollywood made pirates cool.
Slugsie
March 8, 2012 at 2:57 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Wow, my ring finger is about 1cm longer than my pointy finger, I too must be an aggressive lesbian pirate.
No I just have to do something about that small problems of being generally quite passive, suffering mildly from motion sickness, oh, and having a penis.
Svlad Cjelli
March 8, 2012 at 4:17 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
My hands are bony and sloping.
Riayn
March 8, 2012 at 6:17 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Actually a lesbian would be the ideal person to testify about the medical benefits of birth control as it isn’t like we are using birth control to prevent pregnancies.
gregorymarshall
March 8, 2012 at 6:36 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
You have truly been touch by his noodly appendage.
Have a boiled day.
holytape
March 8, 2012 at 7:37 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
If the finger length analysis is true, I’m kind of screwed up. My ring finger on one hand is longer, and on the other, my index finger is longer. I also have two partially webbed toes on one foot and two other toes that don’t touch the ground. All of this I think makes me a half-bi-gay-straight-lesbian-wimp-pirate-manly-accountant-trapeze artist who can talk to animals.
FSM and love
Amanda M
March 8, 2012 at 8:20 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Ok Jen, I officially need you to define “MRA” because when I google it, I get “Magnetic Resonance Angiogram” and “Michigan Reading Association,” and I don’t think that’s what you mean.
eigenperson
March 8, 2012 at 8:26 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
My 2D:4D ratio is about 1.05. I also have purple fingernails (as do my father and brother).
No one told me these things were unusual until I was 18, when I went to a new doctor who, in the first physical exam, blurted out that based solely on my hands he would have guessed I was a woman with severe heart failure.
eigenperson
March 8, 2012 at 8:28 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
“Men’s Rights Advocate” or something similar
GMacs
March 8, 2012 at 8:42 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
So … um … I’m a heterosexual male (probably Kinsey 0.8 or something like that) and my ring fingers are at least a centimeter longer than my index fingers. This is especially significant, because my fingers aren’t very long.
Now, I suppose I’ve always considered myself a lesbian trapped in a man’s body, and I may or may not in the past have acquired some digital* media in less-than-legal ways. Also, I support a woman’s sovereignty over her body and right to equal pay.
Am I a Feminazi lesbian pirate, too?
*Hehe, “digital”. Get it? We’re talking about fingers.
Eric RoM
March 8, 2012 at 9:26 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
I usually go with “Men’s Rights Assholes”.
michaeld
March 8, 2012 at 10:06 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Marsupial rights activists
Brian
March 8, 2012 at 10:26 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Of course you’d say that…you have the brainpan of a stagecoach tilter!
sherylyoung
March 8, 2012 at 10:42 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
I have always been told that I have man hands. They are larger than average for women of my height. However, my pointer finger is markedly longer than my ring finger. I don’t know what to think…
GG
March 8, 2012 at 10:59 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
My ring finger is definitely shorter than my middle finger, yet I am a confirmed lesbian. Not a pirate though, just a biologist.
Didaktylos
March 8, 2012 at 11:03 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
You’d probably like this pirate joke:
A pirate ship is sailing the Spanish Main. On the quarterdeck,the captain is instructing the cabin boy in the finer points of navigation, when a cry comes from the crow’s nest:
“Royal Navy frigate sighted to starboard, cap’n!”
The captain whispers to the cabin boy:
“Fetch me my red shirt, lad – wouldn’t want the crew becoming alarmed by the sight of my blood if I’m wounded.”
And then another shout comes from the crow’s nest:
“Two more Royal Navy frigates to port”
The cabin boy whispers to the captain:
“Shall I fetch your brown britches as well, cap’n?”
sidhe3141
March 8, 2012 at 11:05 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
You ought to link that. Someone who isn’t familiar with “MRA” probably doesn’t follow Skepchick.
Besomyka
March 8, 2012 at 11:57 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Left hand equal, right hand index is slightly longer than ring. What does that mean as a transwoman?
Nothing at all. I thought those MRAs said they were skeptics; since when was there any evidence for the validity of this pop science? I would LOVE for it to be true and validate my femininity, but sadly it doesn’t. Every study I’ve seen has shown the difference to be so slight as to be within error. There might be something, in some cases, maybe, but it’s hard to tell. The variation overwhelms the data sets.
I’d love to see new research if I’m wrong
Azkyroth
March 8, 2012 at 12:14 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
The meaning is “Men’s Right’s Activist.” It’s in the same naming tradition as “People’s Democratic Republic.”
E.A. Blair
March 8, 2012 at 12:29 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Since this whole dust-up started with a bunch of dress-wearing men in funny hats, wouldn’t be something if all the US Catholic bishops woke up one day and found that their penises had been replaced with vaginas while they slept?
arakasi
March 8, 2012 at 12:49 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Uh oh. Both of my ring fingers are noticably longer than my index fingers.
Please advise – am I an aggressive lesbian pirate? I need to know before I take my wife out for dinner tonight, ’cause that will really affect how the evening is going to end
Art
March 8, 2012 at 4:48 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Well, my ring finger is shorter than my middle finger and I happen to know that I’m a lesbian trapped in a man’s body. I guess the whole finger ratio thing doesn’t work.
Amanda M
March 9, 2012 at 8:38 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Thanks!
cynickal
March 9, 2012 at 9:30 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Even after the car door incident?
nickmcneely
March 9, 2012 at 10:01 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
I love it when there are sexy pirates in front of CL-50.
jeremygoard
March 10, 2012 at 11:56 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Please, let’s not suggest that the science is bullshit (it’s generally done well, although results are mixed) by reasoning anecdotally, even if as a joke. Far too few people appreciate statistical claims as is.
Here’s a recent overview:
http://books.google.co.kr/books?id=HmQFFfa03nkC&pg=PA138&dq=finger+length+ratio&hl=ko&sa=X&ei=WFhcT6TkK63GmQWIy_XLDw&ved=0CDEQ6AEwAQ#v=onepage&q=finger%20length%20ratio&f=false
Fuck the slut-shamers, though. Really. I guess these guys are just imagining all the awesome dudes that she’s rejecting them for.
bryanpesta
March 11, 2012 at 6:56 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Good point Jeremy.
Here’s a recent meta-analysis showing the ratio indeed predicts sexual orientation for women:
http://www.putslab.psu.edu/pdfs/grimbos_10_behneuro.pdf
It’s a smallish effect, though. Using it to predict would produce only above chance accuracy; not perfection. Better than chance prediction, however, has definite utility.
Would it really freak you out if reality included hormones as one of many factors partly influencing sexual orientation?
cunt
May 1, 2012 at 7:51 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
I think some of this data might have been plagiarized, it’s scattered across the web and other peoples websites, unless you’re the first author?. Thanks