A new report soon to be published shows that Facebook is not good for your relationship. Really? Like I needed a study to show that? Here’s an excerpt followed by my own anecdotal observation:

HuffPo — Russell Clayton, a doctoral student in the University of Missouri School of Journalism, and his colleagues at the University of Hawaii at Hilo and St. Mary’s University in San Antonio surveyed 205 Facebook users between the ages of 18 and 82 — 79 percent of whom reported being in a romantic relationship — about their use of the social media site and whether or not it had instigated conflict with their current or former partners.

“Previous research has shown that the more a person in a romantic relationship uses Facebook, the more likely they are to monitor their partner’s Facebook activity more stringently, which can lead to feelings of jealousy,” Clayton said. “Facebook-induced jealousy may lead to arguments concerning past partners. Also, our study found that excessive Facebook users are more likely to connect or reconnect with other Facebook users, including previous partners, which may lead to emotional and physical cheating.”

First of all, if someone is checking any site more than hourly on a regular basis, that’s probably going to be obsessive behavior. Second, if someone is unhappy in a relationship they’re probably going to at least flirt from time to time and getting jealous and control freaky about that is a recipe for singlesville.

Guys or gals, if you haven’t figured this out, you have to give your significant other freedom and the trust to use it. That probably means they might — gasp! — engage in some light flirting from time to time. Flirting is good for people, it makes them feel attractive. Whether that happens online or in person is moot. You either trust them or you don’t. If you don’t trust them then maybe you better have a back up plan.

There’s a person I knew as a lad. I happened to look them up on, guess where, Facebook last year and now we converse on a regular basis. Haven’t done anything but hold hands in case you gutter-minded atheists must know. I don’t know where it will go, maybe we’ll be friends, but that’s good enough and I’m glad I found them. The thing is, had the person they were with at the time lived up to potential, this never would have happened. My Facebook friend was at one time head over heels gaga about that other person and I didn’t have anything to do with letting the helium out of that balloon. I expect that may be the case across many Facebook second looks.

Couldn’t that be interpreted as a good thing? Instead of Facebook will ruin your relationship, it could be Facebook rescues you from a dull, plodding, stressful fate in the nick of time and injects some fun with a hot Godless lover who happens to have a six-pack abs? Hey, I’m just asking. FWIW, I have just about every insecurity and hang up possible, but thank the Gods that be, jealousy is not among them. It’s been my experience that the less jealous you are, the more your SO likes you and appreciates you.

There’s another thing to keep in mind: jealousy can creep a woman right the fuck out and it’s understandable why. If a woman is jealous of me, I don’t generally have to worry about ending up in pieces in a landfill or strangled in a basement. They do sometimes, so don’t be jealous and if you are and can’t help it, see a therapist. There’s probably a reason why you feel that way that goes beyond any current relationship.