What was in that pipe Gandalf was smoking? “Pipe weed” sounds like a euphemism to me.
Pharyngula
Evolution, development, and random biological ejaculations from a godless liberal
What was in that pipe Gandalf was smoking? “Pipe weed” sounds like a euphemism to me.
Maybe I was too quick to dismiss Branson’s scheme. It turns out that Alex Jones has a dating page. I’m thinking perfect partnership!
Modify previous post. You board the plane to find it full of leering, lecherous conspiracy theorists.
I may have nightmares tonight.
But only to laugh at it. Some new pseudoscientific ‘documentary’ has been released this week, titled Sirius, which apparently has everything in it: conspiracy theories galore, ancient astronauts, zero point energy, pyramids, UFOs, antigravity, war, top secret government agencies, and aliens. One alien at least; the big feature proving the existence of aliens from outer space is dessicated, tiny little corpse of an “alien” found in the Atacama desert.
I saw that and knew immediately what it was. It’s human. It’s simply a mummified fetus, in which the plates of the skull (still quite distinct) have collapsed on themselves as the flesh dried out.
Here are a few shots of the obvious.
Apparently, the UFOlogists are all surprised now because they had a lab run some simple tests, and they returned the information that it was human — and an indigenous Chilean native, at that. Whoop-te-doo. Anyone other than a deluded fanatic could see that by just looking at the sad little thing.
I did find out one useful bit of information, though: a site with a skeptical summary of all the purported alien corpses that have turned up over the years, from shaved monkeys to deformed children to fake alien mannequins. I have to say that I rather liked the Siberian alien made out of bread crumbs and chicken skin. There’s some real artistic talent there.
Go look at this Conspiracy Theory Flowchart. Look at it.
No, really look at it.
They got to you, didn’t they? The bastards have shaped your whole world, stuffed your head full of phony paradigms and bogus models and unsupportable conventions, and you can’t even see outside the goddamned box anymore. You’re in a straitjacket of their devising, your mind twisted and warped to fit a pre-pattern of which you are completely unaware.
WAKE UP.
Look again. Stare at it until you break through the walls of your own preconceptions. Break out of the box. Shred the box. DON’T LET THEM CONTROL YOU.
You need help? You’re like a pupa stuck in its chrysalis? You struggle but you can’t quite break free? Let me help you.
Look at the diagram. Follow the lines. Look at the decision points. Notice what they’re doing?
THEY’RE FORCING YOU TO FOLLOW THE LINES. Stop following the lines.
THEY’RE GIVING YOU YES/NO CHOICES. Maybe the truth is “none of the above.” Or “all of the above.” Or maybe it’s on a random page of the Bible, or the Federalist Papers, or Dianetics. They’re tying you down.
Look at it, man. It’s a fucking flow chart. It’s a tool of the establishment. It’s an expression of an archaic model of computer programming. (Yeah, programming. Like what they’re doing to your head.) It’s all linear and shit, all boolean and that dogma.
You think you’re afraid of the Illuminati, the Bilderbergers, the Reptoids, the Davos architects of your oppression? You should fear the Hungarian mastermind, the descendants of EDVAC, the universal binary and the tick, tick, tick of the clock, everything all sequential and latched and the single line of flow. They’ve split your world into data and code. They’ve marshaled your code into channeled pathways, they tell you which way to go, they LIMIT YOUR FREEDOM.
Look, man, here’s the secret. We’re not living in von Neumann’s world. It’s MASSIVELY PARALLEL, the switches are all fuzzy, your answers aren’t limited to the truth, any choice can be made and all will be made, and there’s NOTHING TO STOP YOU FROM COLORING OUTSIDE THE LINES. It’s all true. While you’re meandering down one path, putting one foot in front of the other, never deviating, History is hopping and skipping and dancing, dancing like a cokehead with his clothes on fire and a great big dildo shorting out in his ass, SLASHING across all those lines like they aren’t there, making great prigogenic leaps from premise to conclusion without regard for the blinkered “logic” of the diagram.
IT’S ALL TRUE.
IT’S ALL FALSE.
IT’S ALL TRUE.
IT’S ALL FALSE.
IT’S ALL TRUE.
Break the chains The Man has wrapped around your brain and skitter to the REALITY, dude. It’s over there, not over here, and you aren’t going to get there as long as Johnny is calling the tune. Capisce?
Someone on twitter told me to check out this site, True Pleasures. It’s probably NSFW, and why would anyone think a homely old geezer like me would want to buy sex toys? But then I discovered that they do have something to appeal even to me: Tentacle Tuesday.
I honestly am not interested in wriggling strangely shaped tentacular objects into various orifices, but I do like the t-shirts. And look! They come in men’s and women’s styles!
Also, socks! You know you’re getting old when you find yourself getting excited about a nice warm pair of socks.
I think I’m going to be a lonely little realist wafting through a cloud of woo.
You’ll be getting full reports from the scene!
It took me a minute to figure out what this diagram was trying to say.
Then I figured it out. Ewww, yuck. Fundie Christians.
(via Spa_yediMonster)
Yeah, as long as I don’t look out the window. Or check the weather forecast (more snow predicted for tomorrow and Thursday!)
I have no idea where this is. I especially have no idea what the people who wasted money on it were thinking. It’s a prayer booth.
I am speechless at the absurdity of it all. This isn’t about ‘communing with god’ or any such nonsense: it’s about having a prominent public prop with a big sign so that everyone around you knows that you are praying — it’s public piety.
It also has instructions. Apparently the people who might use this are so stupid that they wouldn’t be able to figure out the appropriate posture to take while babbling to Jesus.
Those instructions are a bit Orwellian.
This device exists to facilitate and control prayer in public space. Improper use may result in a penalty or fine.
It’s there to control prayer? What? How? And they’re going to impose some kind of legal penalty if you don’t use it exactly as they want? How do you improperly use prayer? I’m picturing the prayer police thumping you with a nightstick if you prayed to the Episcopalian god rather than the Catholic god, or possibly battering you into unconsciousness if you dared to use the prayer booth to talk to Allah.
And then there’s the preemptive assumption that they’re going to get criticized for this silliness:
Please avoid the booth if you are sensitive to or feel threatened by actions that are religious in nature.
Nobody is going to feel “threatened” by this ditzy exhibition, guy. A better warning would be to the users: “Please avoid the booth if you are sensitive to passers-by pointing and laughing at you.”
I’ve read some of the comments on this post by Richard Carrier, and the comments on his video, and together with all the comments I get declaring that I am the God-Emperor of Atheism+, that it’s all my idea (and that it’s an evil, awful idea), and that Freethoughtblogs has a uniformity of thought dedicated to promoting Atheist+ Purity, I’ve decided to give up and just accept the role that has been foisted on me and all of this network. So, first, I’m launching the new Atheism+ recruitment drive.
Next on the agenda is the coup that has long been in planning. Ed Brayton is nominally in charge of FtB, but as we all know, he’s only my puppet. It’s time for me to emerge from the shadows, depose the frontman, and seize the throne. To Rebel Is Justified! FtB will be my base of operations for world domination.
Next, I will be seizing control of the means of production and the propaganda organs of Atheism+. I understand there is a group of other people who think they are the leadership, but they are mere poseurs — the people have declared that I am the Great Leader, so we shall take care of them with a triumphant Revolution. Any recidivists will be purged in the subsequent purification. Smash the Gang of However Many They Are!
We will then begin Atheism+’s Great Leap Forward, with industrialization and collectivization of the masses to advance the cause, for Great Victory. Peasants Shall Be Workers! All Will Unite Beneath ME!
Finally, appearances will at last conform to the reality that is floating fuzzily about in the heads of our enemies.
