Funny poll

This one is already going our way — and when you see the question, you’ll understand why — but if you would like to give it a little boost, please do.

Who makes for funnier comedians, atheists or believers?

Atheists — To fully appreciate the absurdity of life you have to accept the absurdity of a god. 68%
Believers — Hilarity is part of God’s plan 32%

They’ve got examples and clips at that link, and it’s no contest.

Who have the godless got? George Carlin, Ricky Gervais, and Eddie Izzard. You could stop the contest right there.

Who have the godly got? Dane Cook. I’ve never been able to stand him, and this is the first I’ve heard that he’s a Christian (I had no idea that Noxious Frat Boy was a sect in that religion!). Steve Harvey. Some gomer named Mark Lowry I’d never heard of before, but if you watch his awful clip, you’ll understand why. OK, they do have Stephen Colbert, but what makes him funny is that his schtick mocks the religious.

There are a few funny believers, but they just look stupid when they bring religion into their routines, so the good ones don’t. The atheist comedians simply have the huge advantage of being able to tap into the absurdity of belief.

Vote for evolution?

This is a somewhat unconventional poll — the site lets you vote on issues, and they’ve set up one as creation vs. evolution. Vote for one or the other!

Creationism
 
The religious belief that humanity, life, the Earth, and the universe were created in their original form by a deity.

 

Evolution
 
A changes in the inherited traits of a population of organisms from one generation to the next. First published by a scientist Charles Darwin.

This poll has been up since March, and it tracks votes with a chart — maybe we can put a big downward glitch in the line.

A more challenging poll

People were complaining that that last pointless poll was too easy to knock over. Here’s a tougher one.

What’s your reaction to Barack Obama’s proclamation designating this month as ‘LGBT Pride Month’?

It is a well-deserved celebration – 1.81%

No big surprise from this administration – 21.56%

Sin gets a whole month – National Day of Prayer barely gets a presidential nod – 56.07%

What next? Adultery Adoration Week? – 20.56%

You’ll need some bigger numbers to overcome this one — it’s got 19,000 votes already.

Although, I must confess, I rather like the choice that’s winning so far. Yay sin! Let’s have a whole national year of sinnin’! A decade! A century of guiltless, happy hedonism!

Crash into June with a poll crash!

Look at this mess of a poll. And it’s even associated with an article that plainly says, “Medical authorities have answered that question firmly in the negative” as the very first sentence!

Do vaccines cause autism?

Absolutely. They caused my child’s autism.
13%

Probably. I’ve seen evidence that suggests a link.
25%

Possibly. I am weighing the evidence.
34%

Probably not. Most of the evidence suggests there’s no link.
15%

Absolutely not. There’s no link between vaccines and autism
11%

Didn’t we do this one already?

Oh, yeah, we did…but now this silly poll has popped up elsewhere, sans previous pharyngulation. I’m sure you can fix that.

Do You Believe You Evolved From An Ape-like Creature?

No (68.0%, 327 Votes)
Yes (32.0%, 153 Votes)
I do not know (1.0%, 3 Votes)

You know, I’d like to know what kind of creature they think they did evolve from. And if there is “nothing”, they ought to re-word their poll to “Do You Believe You Evolved?”

(By the way, dig a little deeper into that site — it looks like christwire.org is a parody site. It says something that the very same poll that onenewsnow.com presented seriously can be a joke to anyone else.)