I own a crocoduck tie, somewhere. I was actually gifted this tie by Richard Dawkins himself, many years ago, and I thought I’d wear it as a talisman this afternoon, but now I can’t find it. I haven’t been at any events that warrant a tie for many years now, and honestly this past year I’ve barely left the house. Maybe if I went to church more, I’d have an excuse?

Anyway, the reason I was looking for it is that I’m supposed to have a livestream on youtube with Kevin Logan and Kristi Winters about science as a social construct, which it is, prompted by this other YouTuber going by the name of King Crocoduck, who claims to have something he calls a “naturalist nuke” that demolishes all those SJWs who don’t recognize the omnipotence of True Science. I guess it’s happening around 3:00, my time — it’s all very informal, since I don’t have a link yet. In which case I guess it’s just as well I’m not putting on a suit and tie for it.

Sadly, Shadowrun is not correct. It is a work of fiction.

That said, will anyone be surprised if I turn into a tiny, decrepit gnome overnight?

I’m teach two courses this term (well, three, actually), Fundamentals of Genetics, Evolution, and Development, a required introductory biology course, and Genetics, an upper level elective. And they’re killing me right now.

But yesterday, I went all ADHD on FunGen and focused from 1pm until well after midnight and got all caught up on grading that course (my inbox is empty), and also prepped today’s lecture and next Tuesday’s, and wrote the exam I’m handing out today, and assembled an outline of the final exam. No, really, I can stop thinking about it for a while. It’s like I had two biting, clawing, screaming monkeys on my back and I took one and bashed its skull with a rock. Very satisfying.

Unfortunately, it meant I had to ignore the other monkey for a day, but I’m going to address that today, focusing on just the backlog in Genetics and clearing that step by step all day and all night, if I have to. It’s a monkey-killing rampage!

There’s a possibility that I might even get a free day this weekend, before the next round of exams show up and demand to be graded. Maybe I can do something exciting, like laundry. Or nap. I’ve only been getting 4 hours of sleep each night, so the latter is tempting.

It’s happening again. I’m falling behind on the grading, and today I have to give another exam because the syllabus says so. The exam is ready to go, but I’m not.

I’m going to go hang out in the lab for a while and relax.

Must think soothing thoughts, don’t want to break down. Just buckling down, trying to get all the work done, eyes on next week when it all comes to a close.

Also, thinking thoughts of revenge.

See? A positive mindset will get me through this.

This is terrible. I pre-ordered Fugitive Telemetry (The Murderbot Diaries Book 6) ages ago, and it crawled into my Kindle app overnight and is sitting there, tempting me.

There’s no way I can read it now. I don’t have the time.

But…on the day I turn in my final grades in mid-May, the sun will be shining, the weather will be balmy, and I will be relaxing on the deck, reading this book, free of all stress, every muscle unkinking, brow unfurrowed.

And the day after that I’ll be scouring the countryside for spiders.

I’m coming around to Iris‘s point of view. I have a bird feeder just outside my office window. It’s supposed to be squirrel-proof (nothing is squirrel-proof).

Birds are constantly coming by. Our cat sits there twitching, watching them.

Unfortunately, these big meaty monster squirrels keep climbing up on it, terrifying the birds. There’s a bar for the birds to perch on, to the right, but it’s hinged so that when a heavy rodent climbs on it, it folds down, closing access to the seeds inside. So far, so good.

Only now what the squirrels have figured out is that they can climb onto that silver roof and twist that red handle until it unlatches, and then get on the bar and pop the roof off, allowing them to climb right in and wallow in bird seed. It’s very annoying to find the roof removed and a brushy-tailed rat inside, indulging in gluttony.

I’m trying something different now. I’ve put a line of sriracha sauce all around the roof, and also dabbed it on the latch. We’ll see how well that dissuades the thieves. Otherwise, I wonder if a line of squirrel skulls would work.

Anyone else have other suggestions?

Hey, everyone! It’s Saturday night, during a pandemic, and I home alone with a cat that hates me, so it’s a perfect time for a pity party. I walked out to the liquor store and got some cheap whisky, and I’ve already downed a couple of shots, so you better get to work to catch up. I have many things to be miserable about, and I wanted to get a head start.

• I’ve already mentioned my monster load of grading. I don’t need advice, I know it’s my fault — but I also feel an obligation to cram in a lot of stuff the hard way because this zoom teaching is not my bag at all. I’m clearly overcompensating and suffering for it.
• Speaking of which, this has just been an agonizing year. All the compromises I’ve had to make are driving me crazy, and all the good stuff about teaching have been lost. I hardly know my students — they’re names on a roster. Getting any kind of interaction with them is a struggle. I did not sign up for this career to be a voice on a computer talking to an array of black rectangles.
• I’ve been regretting more than a few choices. Forty years ago my dad suggested I go into refrigerator repair, and even lined up an apprenticeship for me. Sometimes now (especially now) I fantasize about a 9-to-5 union job with good pay and paid vacations…I wonder what that would be like?
• I used to enjoy getting out to events and talking with other people about science, or the folly of religious dogma, or the importance of social justice. I was traveling roughly every two weeks to meetings, and then, abruptly, that all dried up about 8 years ago. Sheesh, you expose just one high muckity-muck skeptic rapist, and your phone stops ringing. It was impressive how quickly and thoroughly the blacklist was implemented.
• The fun was only beginning. I learned gradually that the movement I’d spent years promoting was infested with patriarchal asshats and harassers. I get so much hate mail now! It turns out many of the rank-and-file of atheism sound like refugees from 4chan. Or whatever that hellhole is called now.
• Some of you regular readers got a taste of what my in-box looks like — we had a troll come by and leave a series of obscene comments talking about how I enjoyed fellating transsexual individuals, among other such crudities. Don’t bother looking for them, I delete them as fast as I find them, but here’s a taste of one of his milder comments:
  

  Myers is a bitch. And she was bitchslapped long time ago by almost everyone in the atheist community and made a pariah [he’s right, you know–pzm]. Thoroughly deserved given the damage that C*unt did.

  Once upon a time I thought atheists would be more rational than theists. Boy was I wrong!

• But, you say, that’s just some bottom-of-the-barrel nobody — a loud-mouthed twit who has never contributed anything positive — so who cares? But then tonight I also got email from a more senior member of the atheist community, with a high position in a regional organizer. She’s been pestering me for years, and now she was writing to me to get my support (why, I have no idea — I have zero influence) in a crusade against American Atheists. This is what some high-ranking atheists sound like.
  

  Have you see this?
  Access the article by clicking on the address way below.
  Notice that the tranny within AA, Alison Gill,
  is coming down hard on Dawkins.
  Dawkins is not perfect but I’ll take him any day over Alison Gill.
  Dawkins’ main problem is that he doesn’t speak “American.”
  I think he means well but he doesn’t come across very well
  to Americans. But he is basically correct.

  Rumor is that the Humanist organization
  has also been taken over by LGBTQ people.

  I wrote back to tell her to stop sending me her poisonous crap. Like my usual trolls, she didn’t stop.

  PZ, This is not hateful and this is not poisonous.
  You know me better than that.
  These people (LGBTQ) have taken over AA and
  the Humanist organizations.
  “Tranny” is a well-known nickname for transgender people,
  which is a mouthful to type. It is not meant negatively.

  Dawkins is correct. The right wing fundamentalists
  are using the “transgender issue”as a Trojan horse to get at us.
  We need to separate the transgender issue from atheism.
  We are science oriented.
  You do not become a woman by amputating your male genitals.
  But if they want to do that, they are free to do so in America
  but don’t connect it with atheism.
  THAT IS ALL WE ASK.

  Depressing, isn’t it? I don’t want to be associated with these people any more. And she doesn’t know me at all.

• I’ve got lots of legal debt that’s going to drain all of my disposable income for the next few years. Yeah, that’s the happy ending to my atheist career.
• I’m running out of whisky.

Fuck it, party is over.