Take note of that name, just in case. This ambitious young zealot might just be a future president of the Christian States of America (in which case, look for me at my new home in Australia).

More likely, though, he’ll be one of those desperate men in shabby suits handing out bizarre political pamphlets at the mall, wondering why his life is such a sad sack of futility. But you never know! Maybe he’ll be incredibly successful, and instead end up cowering in a bunker with a pistol, wondering why his life is such a sad sack of futility.

Sometimes you just have to shake your head at the indignant, smug prudes who want to control what you read. Here’s a story of a young lady who wants to dictate what her peers are allowed to see.

Lysa Harding, 15, couldn’t believe the sexually charged prose of the novel she checked out from the library at Brookwood High School. Her grandmother was offended, too.

Now they’re refusing to return the book, “Sandpiper” by Ellen Wittlinger, saying other teens shouldn’t be exposed to it.

She read it, her grandmother read it, but you better not read it … because it’s about teenagers having sex (never mind that it is a cautionary tale), and grandmother and granddaughter are adamant that everyone must be kept in ignorance.

“I honestly believe that it should not be at school, because at my school they teach abstinence and no sex before marriage, but then all the book is teaching is how to do those things,” she said.

So far, it’s just a tale of boring bluenoses, but there’s also something subtle in this story…something that might require that you know a little basic arithmetic, so it might just sail over the heads of those who ought to think about it most.

“This book is sick,” said Pennington. “I’m 50 years old, and I’ve raised 11 sets of kids and been through many a library, and I’ve never seen a book like this in a school library before.”

Heh. This is a woman complaining that teenagers ought not to learn about sex, and she’s 50 years old with a 15-year-old granddaughter, and has had 11 kids. Were they all virgin births? Is she just jealous that no one ever told her about the consequences of youthful boinking?

On eBay, obviously!

The source is the PL Institute of Space Technologies. It’s an amazing place that offers undergraduate and graduate degrees in “Creationist in Sciences” (a Cr.S. degree is not equivalent to a bachelor’s degree, they say), and also carries out research in these fields:

• Creational Healing: We develop a new kind
  of healing method.
• Electrical Engineering: We develop and use
  a new kind of semiconductor technology mainly based on silicon, copper and
  oxygen, and we search for new energy systems, etc.
• Minor-System-Technology: This
  environmentally sustainable technology uses a minimum of resources to solve
  problems perfectly.
• Polycultural Engineering: We develop a new
  kind of agriculture based on balanced ecological systems.
• Spacecraft Engineering: We develop minor
  probes and new kinds of drives using principles of alternative physics. The far
  distant goal is to develop and to realize a generation spaceship for a
  God-fearing community.
• Theological Cosmology: Research of the
  deeper knowledge in astronomy and exobiology.
• Mathematics: Research of the deeper
  knowledge in holistic mathematics.
• Theology: Practicing and teaching of
  down-to-earth Christianity based on the Holy Bible.

“They” are using the plural pronoun, but I’m afraid I get the impression that it’s actually a singular fellow talking to himself in his garage. His biography page says that he’s not certain that he’s not a fruitcake and that he has a B.S. in electrical engineering. Shhhh, don’t make a big deal of it, the engineers are always embarrassed when another creationist engineer staggers out of the utility closet.

In case you’d been wondering why Scientology is such a silly crock, you should know — it wasn’t. Before it was corrupted by the people running the show, Lafayette Ron Hubbard’s technology and philosophy actually worked. We just need to return to the primal purity of the original Scientology vision. And that’s why Freezone has split from the Church of Scientology™, and proudly displays a picture of a goofy fathead in a nautical cap on their web page.

It’s going to be interesting to see how the fascist goons of
the Church of Scientology™ deal with heresy. If it cuts into their profits, anticipate a religious war.

Poor Pastor Ted had been fired from the New Life Church, and was trying to get his life together. He put out a plea claiming poverty and soliciting donations to support his new calling, ministering to the poor at a halfway house. Your humble narrator was righteously suspicious.

In the latest turn of events, his former church tut-tuts reprovingly at his unseemly begging for handouts, and tells everyone about his $138,000 severance pay. The halfway house, aghast, says Mr Haggard sure isn’t moving in with them, and there’s no way he’s going to be counseling the needy. What will happen to the wayward minister?

Haggard will not be doing any ministry and instead will be seeking secular employment…

Surely, hijinks will ensue!

It’s early, you’re sipping your coffee, you want something odd to pique your interest and make you realize that maybe your boss isn’t the biggest screwball on the planet. I’m happy to oblige with a few words of wisdom from a sagacious UK writer.

[Read more…]

It could have been a much bigger story. A reporter came out to talk to me about that lawsuit a while back, and he had talked with Pivar and many of those involved, and he said he was preparing a fairly substantial write-up … and then after he got back to the Twin Cities, he got a call from Pivar announcing that he had dropped the suit, and so the story got cut way back. Dang. If only Pivar had held off for one more day.

Anyway, you can now read the abbreviated story of the Pivar vs. Seed/Myers lawsuit right now. I guess I got a little snark in, anyway.

One thing that didn’t make it into the story is that Pivar accused me of being a big bully, picking on him like that. The irony is incredible. I’m the $45K/year associate professor at a small town university, he’s the multi-millionaire septic-tank magnate from New York City with buckets of cash to throw at expensive art, lawyers, and frivolous lawsuits. He was suing me for a sum that was more money than I’ll probably make in my entire lifetime, yet was maybe six months income for him. And I am the bully.

Man, I’m tougher and fiercer than I thought. I should have beat him up for his lunch money — I’d probably be able to pay off my mortgage with it.