My eyeballs vomited to protect my brain from ingesting this stuff

I’ve been sent an amusing email exchange between a Swiss researcher and a gang of quacks promoting a New Age nonsense conference. I was particularly struck by the email advertising the conference: “struck” is exactly the right word, because reading it was like getting punched in the eyeball. Because I love you readers so much, and think that you should all share in my pain, I have included a copy of this letter below the fold. I hope you like primary colors and random color changes!

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It’s so…sniny…

So I’m at this humanist conference in Oslo, and I’m having a good time at the delicious dinner with musical accompaniment at the Oslo Opera House, when they start giving out awards to all these fabulously accomplished people who have don so much to advance the cause, when they name me. It was a complete surprise and for a moment I was sure this was a joke, but there it is, it’s even got my name etched on it.

I’m the International Humanist of 2011.

How unexpected!

Now if only I were somewhat less discombobulated right now…the several glasses of wine at dinner didn’t help, either.

Vote for this guy

Valentin Abgottspon was a teacher in the Swiss public school system. He was fired because he removed a state-mandated crucifix from the wall of his classroom. It’s weird; apparently, the Swiss constitution requires religious neutrality, but the local canton thinks tradition trumps law.

Anyway, he’s up for a prize, the Prix Courage, which is apparently going to be determined by the result of an internet poll. You know what to do! In principle, at least: the poll is in German, so you might need some guidance.

Vote for the Prix Courage, a very prestigious Swiss prize for outstanding actions: http://www.beobachter.ch/?id=727 (choose Valentin Abgottspon, “Ich will an der Verlosung teilnehmen.*” choose “Nein”, that means you don’t want to win a week-end in a Swiss hotel, that way you won’t have to write down your name, then “Senden”)

Of course, maybe you want a weekend getaway to a Swiss hotel…also, as usual, always look over the other candidates and vote your conscience. I think going against religious dogma and losing your job over it is a great example of courage, though.

Vote here.

More tax breaks for the Ark Park?

Why? This makes no sense. Ken Ham is putting up a for-profit theme park, has already got big sales tax breaks from the state of Kentucky, and now we learn that he’s also getting a major break on property taxes.

The property tax agreement means the Ark Encounter would pay 25 percent of the local taxes due on 800 acres of property where the $150 million theme park will be built. Mayor Rick Skinner says the reduced property taxes will generate far more revenue than unoccupied land.

Well, with that logic, we all ought to get tax cuts on our homes to just slightly more than the valuation of an undeveloped lot.

Besides, we’ve been hearing all these glorious promises from Answers in Genesis about how they’re going to be raking in big bucks and getting amazing attendance and creating all these wonderful jobs for Kentucky — but at the same time they go begging for special privileges like a bunch of desperate paupers.

Christians. Yeah, they believe in that poverty crap, all right.

(Also on Sb)

There are actually atheist movies?

Enough for a film festival? I guess so: San Francisco will be having the Atheist Film Festival next week. They’ve got four movies lined up, which isn’t bad; I can think of a few others, but not many.

I can’t make it to San Francisco, so tell me what some other good godless movies might be — movies with no gods, no miracles, no afterlife, no ghosts, no kindly priests being beneficent rather than rapey.

Glenn Beck has a very silly poll

His site, The Blaze, has an article about these crazy conservative Christians who disagree with the mainstream view that there were precisely two people, Adam and Eve, who founded the whole human race. And it has a poll which is going in a predictable direction for wacky Beck.

How did mankind come about?

God created man in present form, as per the Genesis story 75.16%

God created man and the universe, but scientific evolution occurred 17.52%

Man evolved without God’s creation or intervention 4.88%

I’m unsure 2.44%

Maybe we can change some of those numbers around.

But why do you believe in Gawd?

This word “god” needs some serious redefining. I keep running into these intentionally obscurantist blitherings about “god” when the definition is clearly bouncing back and forth between multiple meanings. There are at least two categories of gods. Let’s give them different names so we stop confusing them.

  1. Gods as working deities or GAWD. GAWD is an interventionist; it may have created the universe, it has power in the real world, it has a personal interest in human beings and planet Earth. GAWD can answer personal requests, GAWD can carry out miracles, GAWD must be propitiated by thoughts and rituals lest GAWD become wrathful…which is a bad thing that can have dire results in the real world. GAWD is what most religions are about, it’s what most people worship. GAWD is usually portrayed as an omnipotent, omniscient being who is greater than and beyond the universe, but he keeps a hand in and dabbles with virgins and foreskins and sends the occasional tornado and earthquake.

  2. Gods who avoid reality, or GWAR. GWAR is an abstraction, an impersonal and remote being who exists completely outside space and time, who doesn’t actually interact with our world; alternatively, GWAR is simply the state of existence that permeates the entire universe. GWAR does not tinker; it does not modify the rules of existence to satisfy personal requests; it does nothing but be and watch and sometimes, love. GWAR is invisible and indetectable because GWAR does nothing. At best, one can aspire to die and become invisible and indetectable oneself, and then you’ll get to meet GWAR. No religion actually exists to support GWAR. GWAR doesn’t need them, and they don’t believe that GWAR will actually do anything for them anyway.

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They will defend their debris to our death

I can’t say that I’m very keen on this lawsuit by American Atheists opposing the “9/11 cross” in some museum in New York; I can understand that in principle it’s promoting religion, and I look at that random chunk of steel that forms a crude cross and can see that it is abysmally stupid to consider it a holy relic, but man, if atheists have to police every single act of stupidity committed by the human race, we’re going to get very, very tired. We need to pick our battles better, and this one is just plain pointless.

Except for one thing: look at the response it generated when aired on Fox News. EIGHT THOUSAND DEATH THREATS from arrogant Christians. Here’s just a sampling.

I have a recommendation for American Atheists.

Back off on the lawsuit. Come right out and tell the world it’s your error, it’s clear the serious objections to memorializing a fragment of metal that has the simple shape of a cross will not be considered in a rational way, and instead point to these insane, hateful messages from Christians. Point out that you can step away from a divisive issue on the recommendations of many of your constituents, but that Christianity clearly has little to distinguish itself from the terrorists who committed the Trade Towers atrocity: religion turns people into ravening monsters who abandon common decency to defend their bogus tribal mythology.

That people can stupidly fall for pareidolia (and trivial pareidolia at that; that pieces of metal would be connected at right angles in a modern building has zero significance) is not a surprise or a major revelation. That they can defend their misbegotten perceptions with threats of murder and rape is a more important issue.