Come back, Dave Futrelle!

He had been talking about this for years at We Hunted the Mammoth, how strange little nazi babies had been complaing about how video game women weren’t sufficiently feminine or pulchritudinous or pornified for their taste, and they’d go on and on about how they’d cracked open their calipers and determined that character facial structures were actually male. I don’t know about you, but I’ve never masturbated to Lara Croft, so those people were telling on themselves, I think.

Today, Stephanie Sterling is covering that beat. The nerdzis (her coining, I like it) are claiming that video game characters have “woke chins,” and think there is a conspiracy to inject obviously trans protagonists into their shoot-em-ups. Because they can tell. By looking at their chins.

I have the reverse problem on Instagram. I’m mainly interested in a few friends and macrophotography, but “The Algorithm” insists on sprinkling my doom scrolling with reels of random short videos of women with pathologically bloated breasts and butts who just stand there in skimpy clothing and jiggle, with comments about how they really like older men. I’m an older man with creaky old bones, and I glance at them and all I can think about is how much their backs must hurt. They aren’t enticing at all. But maybe those women ought to get together with the guys who think their cartoon characters aren’t sexy enough and find true happiness together.

Although…next time one of those bouncy women pop up on my phone, I’ll have to look up at their chins. Maybe they won’t be good enough for the gamer boys.


  1. birgerjohansson says

    Send “Lucy” (the one from the film, not the fossil) to sort out the nerdzies, Deadpool-style. It will be messy but they will go Splat! like video-game characters, the way they want it.

  2. birgerjohansson says

    Furiosa and Harley Quinn wants a word. And the word is “NonononoAaarghh!”

  3. martiabernathey says

    Algorithms suck, point blank. All the shitty people, from Shoe0nHead, Sargon, OlderMillennial, and every other fro grifter from the past decade and a half has been because they were a creation of these websites.

  4. lumipuna says

    I miss WHTM.

    (The site has been on “maintenance hiatus” for many months now, and very obviously isn’t coming back.)

  5. says

    Dave is missed. It was a true public service to sieve through all that crap. Can’t blame him for needing a break.

  6. kome says

    A disturbing number of people really want phrenology to be true for some reason.

    Well, not for some reason. For a very particular reason. For a eugenics reason.

  7. gijoel says

    Lately I’ve been wishing that I was twenty again. To have a young man’s body and a young man’s libido. Then something like this comes along and I’m glad I’m not young and stupid enough to fall for this claptrap.

  8. bravus says

    When games do do it, and do it right: in Baldur’s Gate 3 I’m currently playing a non-binary character, and every voice-acted interaction in the game uses ‘they’ as its pronouns automatically. The game designers designed inclusion in from the ground up. And I’m cheering.

  9. bravus says

    Fuck: ‘its’ refers to the voice-acted interaction, not the non-binary character. Apologies for the ambiguity.

  10. Bekenstein Bound says


    Can’t blame him for needing a break.

    Can blame him for lying about what’s happening, though. Unless someone is twisting his arm. And I’m not sure that he would be lying otherwise, as it seems out of character for him to do so.

  11. garysturgess says

    Unless there’s been a recent change, I believe Steph prefers they/them pronouns, FYI.

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