Maybe I should write a parenting book

I’m learning things from raising Steatoda triangulosa. Feeding time is a marvel: I recorded a very short video of the little spiderlings’ reaction to having a fruit fly thrown at them. It’s like instant implacable carnivory! They’re eager to leap onto their prey, exhibiting the same behaviors as the adults.

So, this is my idea of a good parenting book. Take your little human baby, and toss a small calf or a large puppy into the crib with him or her. Leave them to their business for a few days. Come back later and remove the bones and scraps, and toss them another one. Repeat until they’re old enough to hunt on their own.

I guess since they’re weak humans, you could give the baby a Bowie knife or something to compensate.

Unfortunately, my own children are all growed up, and it’s too late to try on them. My kids probably won’t let me try this with the grandkids. That means…


  1. Oggie: Mathom says

    When I lived in Maryland (the second time) we had a huge garden. Which, each year, had three to five large yellow and black garden spiders (and I had no idea how many species and/or subspecies and varietals there are of these beautiful arachnids). They made large and beautiful webs. I would grab Japanese beetles (not the German beetles (those damn things weigh more than a tonne)) and toss them onto the webs. For the first five or six I tossed to each web, the spider would skitter over and wrap the beetle for later processing. By beetle six or seven, the spider would just sit there. Maybe the larder was full? Thank you for the memory. I hadn’t thought about those huge yellow and black spiders for years.

  2. Akira MacKenzie says

    Tee hee… Off topic, but I made my own “We/I will adopt your baby” meme featuring the Child Catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

  3. nevillepark says

    Sometimes when advising people who have inadvertently become spider-grandparents, I forget how macabre it sounds to say things like “Just let the babies eat each other until they’re down to a manageable number.”

  4. says

    feralboy12 @ #4, that’s very Far Side. Shortly after the Russian invasion of Ukraine, there was an article in like the NYT or the Guardian about the stress/trauma/anxiety experienced by Ukrainians. They interviewed a Ukrainian psychologist, and one quote was something like, “Ukrainians are understandably anxious, but it can help to find healthy and productive outlets, like making Molotov cocktails.” It was one of the best quotes from a psychologist I’ve ever read.