Mouth-watering buffets and rich Biblical teachings

My personal vision of hell launches in March: a Caribbean cruise with Ray Comfort and Ken Ham.

If you thought that cruise with fires and sewage leaks, or the cruise with puking passengers with norovirus were nightmarish, imagine one with Comfort and Ham stalking the halls like angels of banality, haranguing you about sin and Jesus, and the fun part of the trip is handing out gospel tracts in port. It looks like a freakish combination of gluttony and sanctimony.

Fortunately, at $1500 for the cheap rooms, and $5800 for the luxury suites, it is economically impossible for me to end up on the hellboat, if I were tempted in the first place. I also would rather not be chucked over the side by my fellow passengers, as would inevitably happen.

Although…imagine Comfort+Ham+Norovirus+ruptured sewage lines. We could pray for it.


  1. NYC atheist says

    Even when I was a young earth creationist, this would have sounded like a nightmare.

  2. cnocspeireag says

    I have once suffered from norovirus, and it was distinctly unpleasant. I suspect that the company of the two grifters would be worse though.

  3. HidariMak says

    Norovirus and ruptured sewage lines? I think that I’d rather pray for the pirates that they get close to. Godspeed to them, and all that.

  4. wonderpants says

    Could be worse, they could have invited Jack Chick along too if he was still alive.

    Is it wrong of me to hope that the ship hits an iceberg or sails into a 100 foot wave?

  5. madtom1999 says

    Anyone for an atheist submarine cruise? Torpedoes would be fun but I imagine a sound system and light show would be entertaining too!

  6. blf says

    Dining arrangements will be some small fish and loafs of stale bread, multiplied by preying (i.e., pay a “supplement” and we’ll sneak you some more), although there will be plenty of nets and spears / harpoons available if you wish to catch you own (fishers of men…) — also useful for discouraging the lions. Witch tortures and burnings in steerage every afternoon. All children to be presented for personal tutelage & tuition by the great leadership every morning — refuseniks are witches for the day. Optional mandatory daily tithing at a modest rate of 616% family annual income.

    Survivors have one-time free admission (60$ per person administration fee, not including taxes & other charges) to the Big Wooden Gay Box after 5pm on the day before final docking. Transportation and lodging not included, please find a whalefish and stable somewhere.

  7. kesci says

    For safety instruction in case of emergency, Ken and Ray should demonstrate how to walk on water.

  8. hotspurphd says

    @6 wonderpants
    29 July 2017 at 10:16 am
    Is it wrong of me to hope that the ship hits an iceberg or sails into a 100 foot wave?

    Yes. The people who sign up for this cruise are most likely good people. I know some who would love to be on it. Why would you want them to die?
    How is your statement any different than the statements, regularly revled here , that call for the rape or murder of women ?

  9. says

    Holland American. Which means that the “specialty cruise” will be taking place on a regular cruise, with most of the on-board guests having absolutely nothing to do with them.

    On the one hand, I pity those other folks who will have to put up with more sanctimonious BS than is usual on such cruises. On the other hand, I think a small contingent of sex workers could make an absolute fortune.

  10. says

    So assuming the brief flash of a cruise-line branded bathrobe is accurate, I went to Holland America’s website and found the cruise: MS Nieuw Amsterdam out of Ft. Lauderdale. Rooms booked through them cost 2/3 what Living Waters charges. It might be fun to get a group of atheists and freethinkers on that same cruise.

  11. leerudolph says

    Comfort and Ham stalking the halls

    Do ships have halls (in that sense; certainly some ships have “mess halls”)? I have the impression that “passageway” may be the appropriate term of art…

  12. gijoel says

    Bet they won’t do a cruise of Australia. As Fred Clarke said. ‘ You can’t be a young-earth creationist and be from Australia. I think if you’re a young-earth creationist, you’re not even allowed to believe in Australia. That continent is evolution’s playground, [its] showroom. [Australian-born creationist] Ken Ham couldn’t have built his Creation Museum in Australia because they already have a thriving Evolution Museum there — it takes up the entire island. The displays are fantastic.’

  13. Knabb says

    @12 hotspurphd

    There’s a huge difference. One of those statements is proposing a course of violent action, the other idly wishing for a total accident, and an accident that can’t be interpreted as subtly suggesting a course of violent action the way something like “I hope they fall off a building” can.