We’re going to have to up our game


Scotland is truly the master of creative use of the English language.

scotsinsults

“Tiny-fingered, Cheeto-faced, ferret-wearing shitgibbon” is my favorite.

Comments

  1. redwood says

    Hmm, let’s see what I can come up with. How about

    wattle-throated turd bucket
    spittle-spavined slug slurper
    pissy-eyed grunk gulper
    glazed turd turtle (wait, that’s McConnell)
    floss-haired mosquito boil
    me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me meany
    ingrown fuzzbrain

    That’s enough for now–you all’s turn . . .

  2. Brother Ogvorbis, Fully Defenestrated Emperor of Steam, Fire and Absurdity says

    He is a seven no-trump bid with four points in your hand.

    He is as good a politician as he is a writer; he is as good an administrator as he is an investor.

    He is an asshole.

    He is the result of fifty years of careful neo-conservative political breeding.

  3. archangelospumoni says

    I am in awe of this collection of names but will revert to classics.

    “Drumpfh.”

  4. kevinalexander says

    Funny but not entirely accurate. For example, jizztrumpets aren’t incompressible, they deflate on their own if you stop paying attention to them.

  5. dick says

    Trump the Chump might wear a wig,
    or it might be a toupee too,
    but I wouldn’t give a rancid fig,
    if it really belonged in a zoo.

  6. Saganite, a haunter of demons says

    I dunno what a womble is, but cockwomble is nice and to the point.

  7. Snoof says

    Saganite, a haunter of demons @ 10

    These are wombles. It’s a fairly insulting comparison; no innocent womble deserves to be compared to the Combover That Walks Like A Man.

  8. marko says

    @Saganite
    A womble is a small furry creature that inhabits Wimbledon Common in London. They are noted for their peculiarity of wandering around collecting and putting to good use the things that the everyday folks leave behind. They had a string of hit singles in the 70s and 80s.

  9. robro says

    I think we’ve run the gamut of invectives about Trump. As kevinalexander suggests, I will be glad when we can stop paying attention to him and he deflates to oblivion…hopefully soon after early November. I don’t know why, but every 4 years the Republican party gets one or more people in the news that I can’t wait to see fade away.

    By the way, I saw those monickers in Facebook posts as tweeted responses to Trump, who is visiting (and promoting) his golf course in Scotland, crowing about Scots voting to leave the EU. They did not. Now there is a serious possibility of Scotland leaving the United Kingdom to stay in the EU.

  10. anchor says

    carrot-colored spittle-flecked vomit-gobbet with dainty fingers

    “I can tell you that”

  11. anchor says

    stinky womb-splitting eruption – GOP-honey-hunk, expert wall-builder (using dainty fingers), and smirk champion of the world, Esquire

    “I can tell you that”

  12. howardhershey says

    In the immortal words of Sally Field “You like me! You really like me!”

  13. jacksprocket says

    I don’t care that Trump is called Trump. I don’t care that he’s fat. I don’t care if he’s dyed orange. I don’t care if he wears a toupee. I don’t care that he’s loud. (I do care that he’s an intolerable bully.) The problem – the one that matters- is that his policies are staringly, stupefyingly, dangerously wrong. And I can’t think of a bigger insult to Trump. The Scots are good at invective, and I suspect the Irish or Scousers or Brummies could come up with some corkers too, but in the end sticks & stones etc. He doesn’t care what we call him, our only job is to make sure everyone knows that Trump’s ideas (if we can so dignify thyem) are just wrong.

  14. DonDueed says

    @#14 robro — I guess you haven’t been paying attention the other three years.

  15. gmacs says

    Gijoel,

    That man makes me think Mosely was reincarnated as a snug anthropomorphic penis.

  16. wzrd1 says

    @gmacs, if one cannot be reincarnated as a man and one is attracted to females, there are worse things to be reincarnated as. Such as a fleshlight.

    Some complain of conversing with a wise-ass, but honestly, I question if they’re prefer to converse with a dumb-ass?
    More seriously, why do some consider that an insult?

  17. Azkyroth, B*Cos[F(u)]==Y says

    …I have small fingers…

    Oh, wait, there’s this special unique exception carved out around thoughtlessly insulting comments when the person they hit by accident is me specifically. I’d forgotten about that.

  18. wzrd1 says

    @Azkyroth, B*Cos[F(u)]==Y, I used to have long, thin fingers. They were an asset to a pianist and accordionist (I also dabbled in assorted keyboards beyond that scope).
    Today, my fingers seem shorter and thicker. My hands larger.
    It’s amazing what decades can do, adding muscle and connective tissue in places, to make fingers seem shorter, courtesy of everything else growing wider.

    Then again, things do indeed shrink with age.
    Frankly, unlike some political types, I really don’t give a flying fuck. My mind is and has always been my primary weapon, my hands, mere tools for that weapon.
    Considering the realities of the world, that means, my thickened fingers can type in a dirty limerick that undermines a determined foe’s hyperbole. My hyperbole can undermine the paranoid hyperbole via amplified mirroring.

    As for the sexual suggestion, let’s suffice it to say, I’ve lost an inch or so, depending upon, erm, interest. Cardiovascular health and age do come into play in the real world. Big shit, I’m getting older, my wife is happy with what we do together.
    Oddly, far too many political candidates are utterly incapable of admitting such a thing.
    Tis a pity though, we discovered the sex swing when our age and its effects have ruled that out to ludicrous levels.
    Oh well, two chapters added to the Kama Sutra are enough. ;)

  19. Don Quijote says

    As I once overheard in a pub in London; “A back-biting son of a suck-egg dog”.

  20. Zmidponk says

    jacksprocket:

    I don’t care that Trump is called Trump. I don’t care that he’s fat. I don’t care if he’s dyed orange. I don’t care if he wears a toupee. I don’t care that he’s loud. (I do care that he’s an intolerable bully.) The problem – the one that matters- is that his policies are staringly, stupefyingly, dangerously wrong. And I can’t think of a bigger insult to Trump. The Scots are good at invective, and I suspect the Irish or Scousers or Brummies could come up with some corkers too, but in the end sticks & stones etc. He doesn’t care what we call him, our only job is to make sure everyone knows that Trump’s ideas (if we can so dignify thyem) are just wrong.

    I agree that’s how things should be, but, call me cynical if you like, one of the negative effects of democracy is that it reduces the question ‘who’s going to run the country’ to a popularity contest, so pointing out the guy’s a Gollum-esque turd-warbler of the highest order could actually lose him votes.

  21. ledasmom says

    I have short, wide fingers myself ( as well as big toes that are essentially egg-shaped). The only time it bothers me is when I buy gloves. I suppose that at some time I will feel somewhat ashamed of myself for being amused at Trump’s aggravation at references to his hands. That time has not yet come.

  22. says

    A friend from college describes him as “A 200-pound naked mole rat in a suit with a wig made of Muppet pubes.” He was speculating on why the eagle attacked him, saying perhaps his resemblance to a bloated rodent set it off.

  23. gmacs says

    wzrd1

    Honestly, I don’t consider looking like a penis to be an insult, any more than I consider having short fingers to be an insult*.

    The insult is more in the smugness and comparison to Mosley. I could have said he looks like a snobbish anthropomorphized thumb, but I felt penis was funnier. Something to do with how he always has his face pushed back in his neck like he can’t believe no one understands his Reasonable Arguments.

    *I have relatively short fingers, and I find the funny part to be that Trump is so obsessively insecure about the size of his fingers.

  24. says

    And in the real world it should be noted that Cheetos arent a thing in the UK (or even freedom loving Scotland) so unless the quoted insult had been changed for an American audience from “Wotsit faced” I suspect its bullshit.

  25. says

    Thou braggart, thou blackguard, thou plain villain! Thou defaulter of debts! Thou trafficker in oaths made falsely! Thou gallows-bait! A latrine on highsummer’s day wouldst be more agreeable than thee, and smell sweeter besides!

    Nay, I take it all back, for no man, and indeed no latrine, deservest comparison to thee. So I call thee thus: thou Trump!