I’m very, very sorry. You know that little malware incident the other day? We’ve discovered what the nasty thing did: it’s infected us here at scienceblogs, and there’s an epidemic sweeping through the team. Symptoms are cold-heartedness, decay, lack of affect, deadness, corruption, sudden surges of frenzied aggression, and cannibalistic impulses.
That’s right. We’re all turning into New Atheists. Or zombies. One or the other, it’s hard to tell the difference.
Clearly, I have an advantage here, since there’s actually little change in my condition. I did feel a pressing desire to disembowel someone, but snarled a little at Henry Gee and tweaked the style sheet for the site to a set of colors that will ravage all the readers’ tender eyeballs and brains, and felt fully satisfied — my appetites are unchanged. Tasteless, vicious savagery is always what you get here.
Look around the other blogs over the course of the day — they’re all going to experience the effects of this weird infection at different times. Report back with zombie sightings, if you’d like. Or whatever. I don’t care any more. There’s only the hunger.
Hmmm…the Trophy Wife is curled up all innocent and unsuspecting in bed right now…