Judge Myers presiding

Man, I’m away on vacation and you rowdies get all raucus and rude in the comments. The powers-that-be at Seed have received a complaint about your heinous behavior, and have asked me (politely, and with assurances that I have full control over how to handle this situation) to address it. Here is the complaint:

Dear Sir/Madam

I wish to complain about offensive sexual language directed towards me on one of your blogs. I have included the full quote below and a link to the offensive comment. I would appreciate your attention on this matter as I consider this deeply offensive.

Thank you
Brenda von Ahsen

Here is the offensive comment. It contains quotes from other comments by Brenda herself on that thread.

Re: #79

You all can’t be so willfully stupid that you take him literally can you? Oh, I see that you can be that stupid. This is why I repeatedly wonder if it is possible for there to be any discussion at all. It seems futile, especially given the juvenile behavior here.

Re: #224

You’re spoiled, arrogant asshats who cannot treat anyone who disagrees with you with even a modicum of respect.

Brenda, you ignorant slut.

You are a pompous liar, front to back. You have been soundly spanked.

Posted by: CortxVortx | June 3, 2008 10:04 PM

Oh, dear. What am I to do?

Hmmm. Brenda accuses everyone else of being “willfully stupid,” “juvenile,” and of being “spoiled, arrogant asshats,” yet she is the one who is offended because someone dared to recite a well-known humorous line from an old Saturday Night Live skit.

I have done an extensive review of all 58 of Mr CortxVortx’s comments to Pharyngula, and have found a general absence of misogynist malice, but he does seem to have a sense of humor.

Likewise, I have reviewed all 24 of Ms von Ahsen’s comments, and have found a consistent prickliness and the complete absence of a sense of humor.

My judgment: Mr CortxVortx is guilty of a deficiency of vowels in his pseudonym and of doing an almost unrecognizable Dan Ackroyd imitation. As punishment, he is henceforth required to shun all use of lines popularized by the inestimable Mr Ackroyd unless he is also wearing a hat and sunglasses in the style of Jake and/or Elwood Blues.

Ms von Ahsen is guilty of insufferable pretentious self-centeredness. No penalty will be imposed by this blog, as it is punishment enough.

The court is recessed. The next case on the docket may be some clown named Kenny.


  1. Aquaria says

    Claudia #149: For god’s sake, don’t tell them about Mrs. Slocombe’s pussy – oh wait, I just did.
    (Not only will 99.9% of Americans not get that reference, but I reckon most Brits under 30 won’t either.)

    I got it, and so did my 20 yo son. “Are You Being Served?” gets dusted off for sentimental favorite broadcasts on my local PBS station, as recently as this past year.