“Supporting the Troops,” everyone.

The Los Angeles Times ran a piece over the weekend revealing efforts by the California National Guard to claw back reenlistment bonuses and student loan payments from 9,700 soldiers it has determined were ineligible for these incentives. According to California Guard official Col. Michael S. Piazzoni, “The system paid everybody up front, and then we spent the next five years figuring out if they were eligible.”

“‘No, no!’ said the Queen. ‘Sentence first—verdict afterwards.'”

“‘Stuff and nonsense,’ said Alice Iris loudly.”

[Read more…]

#muschniwogdowis of the day: Your liberal media.

Today’s report in Most US Citizens Have No Idea What Our Government Does Or Who It Serves (#muschniwogdowis) follows.

“One of the saddest lessons of history is this: If we’ve been bamboozled long enough, we tend to reject any evidence of the bamboozle. We’re no longer interested in finding out the truth. The bamboozle has captured us. It’s simply too painful to acknowledge, even to ourselves, that we’ve been taken. Once you give a charlatan power over you, you almost never get it back.”–Carl Sagan

[Read more…]

WORLD EXCLUSIVE! Interview with Cyber Squirrel 1.

[CONTENT NOTE: As readers know, I typically write non-fiction. But lately I’ve found an interesting space to inhabit that bridges the real world with an imagined one. And…well, this is my first short story, ever. Many thanks to Cyber Squirrel 1 for the interview on which it is based, to Marcus for connecting us, and to My Amazing Lover™ for critical feedback and boundless encouragement. ♥]

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WORLD EXCLUSIVE! Interview with Cyber Squirrel 1.

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Precisely at noon, a gray van slowed to a crawl on Bedford Street before stopping abruptly at Barrow. The panel door slid open and I climbed inside. Before I could find sure footing, the vehicle sped away toward Christopher Street, knocking me first to my knees and then down on my side.

The darkness was instant and total; the air felt close and thick. I would not see daylight again until the sun rose the next morning, and by then I would have wondered at least a thousand times whether I would live to see another day. But I ain’t gonna lie to you. At that moment I was abuzz with adrenaline, euphoric even, as the van lurched forward and I contemplated the hours ahead. For this was a mission like no other: Your Humble Correspondent™ had been granted an interview with Cyber Squirrel 1, Chief Minister of Information and Propaganda of the squirrel army. And I was headed straight to the enemy command center.

[Read more…]

My friend Niki died today.

My friend Niki Massey died today.

Readers may know her; I have written of her here, several times.

I fucking LOVED her. And I know I made her smile, at least once in a while. I know that because she told me. And I am so very grateful for that in this moment.

Niki was a fucking badass. An original, one-of-a-kind, force of nature. A Social Justice Warrior of the fiercest, finest kind (she preferred “Social Justice Daemon.” Hahaha.)

Niki taught me many things: to be a better writer, a better activist, a better friend, a better human being.

I am devastated beyond words.

niki

REST IN POWER, my friend. This world is a better place for having you in it, however briefly.

♥

Buy my $#!+, people. ON SALE.

40% off mugs

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Smash the status quo with original designs by Iris Vander Pluym.

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This is your semi-regular reminder that the work I do here—and yes, it is work—is not without its costs, timewise and otherwise. If you buy my exclusive merch, I get a (small) cut: WIN-WIN.

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dtsmugs

Do your part to shake the sheeple from their stupor and break the hypnotic spell of the enemy rodents by drinking from these striking mugs—BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE!
#squirrelpocalypse

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hottearsmug

Everything tastes better when conservatives are crying.
That is just a fact, people.
Sipping from this nifty mug will soothe your rabid rage at right-wing blowhards and repel conservatives from your general vicinity.

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mugcompositeThese squirrel skull mugs are fucking badass and you should GET YOURS TODAY.

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WHAT?! You mean aren’t in the market for a mug? WTF. Well, then I guess you can shop for other exclusive items here.

40% off mugs

20% off everything else

USE CODE MAGNETZNMUGZ at checkout.

Or you could, you know, just pay me money:

payme__________

All proceeds to fund smashing the status quo, subverting the patriarchy, dismantling white supremacy, waging war on warmongers, obliterating the oligarchy, sustaining struggling friends, monitoring the squirrel menace, mocking conservatives and/or cat food.

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I recognize that many people do not have the bucks to spare, and in any event no one should feel obligated to contribute to my cat food fund. Particularly when they’re thisclose to eating cat food themselves.

Thank you for all of your support.

Nuh-uh.

No, I did not watching the “debate.”

I don’t know about you, but I have exactly zero interest in what politicians say—ever. They’re fucking politicians, ferchrissakes. Politicians will say anything.

I am, however, very interested in what people do. What people do speaks their truth. And these two candidates? Everyone knows how they roll.

As it turns out my amazing sister surprised me with a visit today. Already my stomach hurts from laughing.

Life is short, people. Choose your moments wisely.

Horrifying squirrel footage.

I especially love the part where the enemy rodent tries to gnaw the eyes out of the fucking head. And terrorizes a cat that is easily ten times its size—twice.

See, this is the kind of slick PR campaign the squirrels are running with the eager assistance of their human slaves 27/7/365. Shit like this shows up in my feeds on the regular, with little smileys and winkies and hearts and quips like “This may be the cutest thing you see all day!”

Sure. If I thought spreading the Black Plague to innocent stuffed animals was “cute.”

#wakeupsheeple #deathtosquirrels

[h/t Simon]

Perhaps a hint at why right-wingers hate academia.

Yesterday I read about a new study—I cannot read the actual paper itself of course because it is behind a fucking paywall—that examined non-academic characteristics of a sample of incoming freshman to see which factors might predict their success or failure at college. High school grades are the single best predictor of college grades, but they still only account for about 20 percent of the difference between students’ ending up with good or bad college GPAs. The new research focused on outliers: the “thrivers” and “divers” who did much better or much worse in college, respectively, than would be expected based on their high school grades. [Read more…]