7-year old squirrel attack victim speaks out!

Survivor of multiple violent murder attempts by enemy rodent menace.
(image: ABC-7 New York)


The 7-year old victim of multiple bite wounds from an unprovoked squirrel attack on Wednesday in Brooklyn has spoken to ABC-7 New York about her horrifying ordeal. Readers may recall from my post yesterday that she is being subjected to a course of rabies treatment as a precaution, and was seriously traumatized by the relentless assault. “She is not OK,” her father Andres said. “Every night, she’s crying and scared. ‘Please papi, help me, the squirrel is coming, a big one.'”

Now, adorable little Maria Guerrero and her father have added more disturbing details to the terrifying tale:

The family says the squirrel leaped into the air and sank its teeth into the child’s arm, entirely unprovoked.

When Guerrero’s dad heard her screams, he was able to pry the animal’s jaws open, and throw the squirrel onto the sidewalk.

Amazingly, the squirrel came back and tried to attack again, twice, before climbing into a nearby tree.

“It kind of looked like a flying squirrel. He jumped on my arm and then he started to bite my arm, but I had no food! I had no food, I had nothing!” [Maria] Guerrero said.

“After that, my dad, he took off the squirrel,” she continued. “He throws it, but then it came back!

This is the stuff of nightmares, people. Even when you are NOT, you know, fucking seven.

Which brings me to my next point. The linked story also cites another victim, Leku Percival. Unlike Maria Guerrero, this d00d’s hand was bitten by a squirrel at the same park last week while he was feeding it – and he posted a video of the encounter to Youtube!

Percival believes this was the same squirrel that attacked all the other people in Prospect Park last week, but I am not so sure. What I am sure of is that by feeding fucking squirrels, HE is partly responsible for the unprovoked attacks on Maria Guerrero and other innocent (i.e. non-squirrel-feeding) park goers.

You know who else is partly responsible? Your Liberal MediaTM, that’s who. As far as I’m concerned it is the worst kind of irresponsible journalism to report on vicious squirrel attacks and not emphasize this critical message:


Take CBS New York’s reporting on the story, for example. It is not until the very end of the segment that the reporter finally says, “People are urged not to feed any animal in the park. Most squirrel bites happen when someone is attempting to feed the animal and gets too close.”

Gosh, ya think? But see, refraining from feeding squirrels and even possessing no food at all did not protect Maria Guerrero, or the unidentified jogger who was also attacked in the same park last week, or any other people who have suffered unprovoked squirrel attacks. That’s because when some people feed them, they become unafraid of humans and associate us with food. Innocent children pay the price.

The story I linked yesterday doesn’t mention not feeding squirrels until the paragraph 13. THIRTEEN!

The story I linked today doesn’t mention it at all.

So I just have one question for all you fucking squirrel feeders and “journalists” reporting on squirrel attacks without emphasizing the dangers of feeding them: why do you hate adorable little Maria Guerrero so much?


  1. kestrel says

    It came back at her? Twice?? Wow – it’s enough to make you believe in actual demonic spirits.

    They shouldn’t have too much trouble finding it again. Just wander the park in short sleeves and it will probably fly out of nowhere and attach itself to someone’s arm. Hopefully a 7-year-old is not also required.

  2. timberwoof says

    Coyotes have moved in to some of our city parks. At night they roam the neighborhoods. Someone reported on a local neighborhood forum web site that one roaming coyote looked thin and needed to be fed. I replied that if there’s not enough food running around in the city, then the coyote can go somewhere else where the hunting is better. If you see a coyote, throw rocks at it. (Sorry, fellow woof. It’s for your own good. Really, it is.)

  3. Raucous Indignation says

    Iris, please enough with the scare mongering! Of course you may feed squirrels, but you have to do it responsibly. I prefer to feed them to the local foxes and bobcats.