Easter Sucks: Maybe this is too personal, but what the hey….

Not directly in response to Ashes’ post, but. . . .

Growing up with a sperm and egg donor who were both narcissists and fanatical catholics, the April fools day is one of the worst memories of childhood, up there with post-winter solstice “holiday” in December. The only thing that made April more tolerable was not being a captive audience (i.e. things were open, lack of snow and cold made walking possible).

They were the types who thought “vatican II was a bad idea”, that ‘mass’ should still be in Latin despite them not speaking a word of it.  This also included fish on most Fridays throughout the year, but especially in April.  Mentioning red meat, never mind eating it, meant becoming black and blue.

“Easter” has to be the only religious event I know of with as ridiculous and convoluted a calculation as Lunar New Year.  “The second new moon after the winter solstice” and “first full moon at least a week after spring equinox” are nonsensical.  Pick a fixed date, FFS.  April 1st suits you, as it was a couple of years ago.

As it happens, “easter” this year falls on the same date as “tomb sweeping day” (qingming festival) when ethnic Chinese people go and clean up their ancestors’ graves. Then ignore them the rest of the year.

The ones who love us best are the ones we'll lay to rest
And visit their graves on holidays at best
The ones, love us least are the ones we'll die to please
If it's any consolation, I don't begin to understand them

- The Replacements, "Bastards Of Young"

I have no intention of visiting either’s grave if I ever go back to Canada.



  1. says

    I thought it was the feast of Eostra/Ostara – the celtic celebration of spring, i.e.: fuck-fest.
    It’s a good time to go out and have a bonfire and a makeout session and some wine.

  2. publicola says

    I went to catholic school for 12 years, the first 8 in grammar school taught by nuns. This meant mass every morning during advent, ( the nuns were there to check on who showed up and who didn’t ); mass on 8 holy days of obligation, ( even in summer ); mass every morning during lent ( nuns were there, etc. ); stations of the cross every Friday after school during lent; first Friday morning mass every month, and, of course, mass every Sunday–I’m sure I’ve forgotten something. Easter meant the end of all this church until advent, so I saw it as a relief. The highlight of easter was seeing Mrs DeLuca walk to church with a new floral (and I mean FLORAL ) hat. Is it any wonder I became an atheist?