As surely as night follows day, men angered by having creepy behaviour questioned and criticised will stand proudly to defend such behaviour. I, for one, am glad to know who to avoid and inform my friends of. I feel compelled to send them Meninist hoodies, the poor things.
One such fellow is Christian McQueen who writes a blog for men dreaming of “living the playboy lifestyle”. His Twitter bio reads “I didn’t invent the playboy lifestyle. I just perfected it”, which is great and I am super happy for him. However, he doesn’t appear to be happy with my country’s Men’s Health’s recent decision to purge itself of pick-up artist bullshit.
There could be a good discussion on ethics policy: Is MH going too far? Are they not unecessarily removing content that’s proven to help and not harm? We can have those discussions, but I’m not certain Mr McQueen is interested in that, so much as yelling at “weak-kneed beta bitch boy editors”.
Let’s see what’s upset him.
You gentlemen are smart.
I don’t consider myself a gentleman, but that’s kind.
You get advice on how to better your life from men who are not strangled by corporate sponsorships.
Well, if you are including my close friends then yes, I suppose. But “not strangled by corporate sponsorships” doesn’t make someone an expert in advice. Also I notice you sell products too… but, OK. I guess not being part of a corporation makes it… better?
Men’s Health South Africa recently removed an article on How To Get A Woman’s Number, because certain *cough* female readers (and men who are clearly not getting laid) labeled it as “creepy”.
Is your throat OK?
Second, please can you show me which female readers said this? I know plenty of women showed massive support – so far as to get Men’s Health a favourable a write up in a tiny place called Slate by a woman – but I’m not sure who else criticised the article. (I’ve no doubt many did, I just don’t know who and wonder how you do.)
Third, I am a man and I criticised it. Your claims about my sex life are creepy, dude. Also, wouldn’t dudes “who are clearly not getting laid” want an article on how to get a women’s number? Seems kinda self-defeating if we’re making crude generalisations: but it’s great you at least acknowledged there exist men, even ones “not getting laid”, who can oppose crappy articles that view women as conquests.
Fourth: Why is creepy in scarequotes? That’s like creepception right there.
This is not a joke.
He centered and bolded this. I guess he thinks it’s really important we know that he’s not telling lies.
Now, a magazine that’s always been rather pathetic anyways and filled with useless affiliate crap, has now decided to slap men in the face everywhere and not provide practical advice on how to have better social skills <link to awful post about Alpha Males and dominating, because men need to give themselves the equivalent of D&D classes to talk to women>
Translation: A magazine I thought was obtuse anyway is doing an obtuse thing and, for some reason, I need to complain about this. I know it doesn’t make sense to say a magazine is antagonising the very group that keeps it alive, but… please read my blog.
If they can’t write about how men can get a woman’s number, then here are some suggestions for the weak-kneed beta bitch boy editors they employ:
When will boring creepy men realise calling other men “betas” is as insulting as D&D players appearing in my room to mock my lack of 34-sided dice?
He offers some… er “funny” headlines MH’s editors could use.
“How To Send Smoke Signals And Attract The Woman of Your Dreams”
“5 Ways To Remove Your Balls And Become A Beta Bitch Boy (No Surgery Needed!)”
“How You Can Use Your Imagination And PornHub To Replace A Real Woman’s Touch”
“10 Ways You Can Weed Yourself Out Of The Gene Pool (You Don’t REALLY Need Sex!)”
Erm, hahaha? That… sure showed… them? That’s a lot of anger for a magazine you don’t even like, dude.
I’m going to pause for a moment and throw up, because it’s beyond obvious that men are under attack in this world.
That escalated quickly. You were coughing earlier, so I’m a bit worried about your health. You know, that thing that’s on the title of the magazine you’re dissing?
I also don’t understand how I, as a man, raised an issue the editors – also (mostly) men – looked at, thought about, agreed with and acted on is an indication “men are under attack”? Who are men under attack from?
@justininza We listened, agreed, and took it down. You'd have to speak to individual critics about what they said.
— Men's Health ZA (@MensHealthZA) January 28, 2015
He explains that the reason he feels men are “under attack in this world” is due to the values he holds being viewed as bad. And this is a bit troubling.
If you’re masculine, you are “misogynistic”.
If you’re good with women, you are “manipulative”.
If you have balls and refuse to bend to society’s consistent shaming of masculinity, you are “unstable and angry”.
I’ve never understood worshipping gender roles: Why do people have to adhere to arbitrary criteria, due to biology? What’s wrong with men “being feminine” – whatever the hell that means – etc.? Playing on essentialist roles – men must work, be buff, be husbands and straight; women must be caring, soft, cater to men – is a huge problem in the world (aside from what men and women are supposed to “look” like).
It leads to entitlement, as women reject the idea they’re only good for breeding and obeying men. Entitlement is vile, an outcome of toxic masculinity, where men breed anger at a world no longer bending to their mere existence.
If you’re masculine, you are “misogynistic”.
I’d be more charitable of Mr McQueen’s view of masculinity if, for example, this wasn’t an opinion he held.
Accor. to Cosmo ROK being "a site for heterosexual and masculine men" = Mysogynistic. Retweet if you're masculine man http://t.co/pUmMqYNjNm
— Christian McQueen (@RealCMcQueen) November 22, 2013
In case you’re not aware, Return of Kings is a notoriously misogynist, rape-apologist, fat-shaming, abuse encouraging website run by the now notoriously gross (for not wiping himself) Roosh V.
So, you know, if that’s what you call “masculine”, no wonder a woman’s magazine says that’s pretty gross.
If you’re good with women, you are “manipulative”.
Well considering he describes some women as being of “higher value” and writes “Never underestimate the incredible power of a command to a woman. It’s catnip when calibrated for the situation“, manipulative is a rather mild view. That seems like you’re grading and treating an object or meat, not a person.
Considering the only people who don’t think “game” is nothing but manipulative, creepy tactics are desperate men and those milking these men for money, I think we win this definition too.
If you have balls and refuse to bend to society’s consistent shaming of masculinity, you are “unstable and angry”.
This is kind of scary. The idea of “having balls” sounds like macho chest thumping and unstable, angry, frightening men have always disguised their instability in unfairness, at the world, at women; they’ve always anchored it in women’s lack of attention or not adhering to their commands (what was it he wrote about women obeying men’s commands?). You need only read any part of the manosphere or more extreme examples like Elliot Rodger or Ben Monyihan.
Masculinity, as far as I can see, requires shaming and dismissal because it undermines not just women, but men. We seem to call it “toxic masculinity” only when it comes to light, but for many, even adherence to masculine views can be terrible. There’s nothing wrong with wanting the things traditionally viewed as masculine – but why should these only be for those designated as men at birth? Why can’t we focus on morality, not masculinity?
Anyway, Mr McQueen continues
Well, I have a big announcement for Men’s Health: Fuck you.
You are doing a disservice to men everywhere by catering to the exact audience that doesn’t buy your magazines: women.
I’m sure the editors whose jobs depend on selling their magazines are more informed and aware of their audience than you are. I always find it strange when bullies yell at people or sites for doing something that would “damage” their audience: Why is it your problem? If they suck and are damaging their audience’s admiration, the site, magazine, etc., will disappear. You clearly don’t like them, so why are you giving them “advice”? Don’t you want them to disappear? You seem to be confused by what you want, Mr McQueen.
Also, note how listening to women and not wanting women to feel grossed by men is somehow viewed as a bad thing. There’s nothing wrong with the part of the magazine dealing with men’s relationship to women catering to women. An important determinate of a successful relationship is listening to the person you want to date; it’s knowing how not to make her uncomfortable or creeped out. This means that men can have success in dating and love life. This is better for both men and women.
Men’s Health are doing exactly what they should: focusing on healthy behaviour – and that means caring about the effect of that behaviour on the intended recipient!
This only confirms the view that Mr McQueen doesn’t view women’s opinion as worth caring about – even when their opinions are what will make or break successful, fulfilling and healthy relationships.
But, I chuckle at your demise, because men will seek out truth.
They have and will continue to find real, actionable TRUTHFUL advice in blogs just like this one.
Good for you. You can have the men who were offended by Men’s Health’s decision. I hope you all have a jolly good time creeping. (I don’t: I hope women are able to spot you from miles away as creeps.) Men can and are doing better.
The game is up. The internet has leveled the field of ‘journalism’ and has created a tidal wave of access to the ordinary man to find real-life advice on how to meet women, become better at life and become the best man they can be.
Yes, and many men have become aware that manipulative men like you are exactly who they should avoid; they read women time and time again on how they (women) know what you’re doing and want you all to leave them alone.
As long as I’m alive, masculinity will have a proponent of truth and a champion for men everywhere.
The truth will prevail.
Repeating a lie doesn’t make it true. Besides, this isn’t about some hidden or obscure truth. It’s just a fact that women don’t want creeps, know pick up artist techniques and hate it.
Mainstream men’s magazines will continue to alienate men everywhere in exchange for more money and the approval of women.
Oh how terrible! More money and approval of the intended recipient of dating advice’s approval will definitely lead to their demise, as you said above. Or… No, it won’t. It’ll be viewed with respect and women will have more respect for such publications and men can have confidence knowing they’re not being creeps.
Do men everywhere a favor and share this on every social media platform you’re on. Get the word out. If we don’t, who will?
Since you asked so nicely…
Thanks to frequent misspelling and mispronunciation here in USA, I always think of the fish.
Anyway, that was a delicious fisking. Thank you.
Yes, good work with the fisking.
I, too, think it’s pretty telling that some guys get upset about this, and also upset about being called creepy. I know I’d want good advice for dealing with women in a healthy way, and thus listening to women would be probably the single most important thing to do to avoid coming off as/being creepy.
My guess? He’s mad that a prominent publication denounced what he believes in publicly. He’s especially mad because 5 years ago he would have had their support. He’s using scare tactics to get things back to the way they were. Note that he’s not making much of a rational argument, because one likely doesn’t exist.
If someone is doing impotent whining about a beta, wouldn’t that make them an omega?
Gotta love turning their own “logic” against them.
Well, I assume his quotes around single words aren’t meant to be scare quotes, but actual quotations. After all, “creepy” may be exactly the word I’d use to describe at least some of the PUA stuff.
And I’d hardly be surprised if someone had literally called him “unstable and angry” at some point.
Some men certainly do need some help with social skills, including with women (and may have hangups specifically about women that make women-specific learning helpful). But “How to get a woman’s number” is a certainly a creepy way to phrase what I think most men would actually want. I’m betting most of those actually reading the PUA materials aren’t interested in having a different woman every night — they’re interested in overcoming their own issues that keep them from interesting any women. And frankly, even assuming there’s some kind of alpha/beta status, these issues have pretty much nothing to do with it.
Am I the only one who thinks this guy is channeling Bennett Brauer ?
First time I’ve read you. This was a damn funny piece. A fine bit of deconstruction. And yeah, if I needed a few pointers as to how I might land a girlfriend, there are certain people I’d look to, and then there’s Christian McQueen. Whose presumably pseudonymic name is rich enough in and of itself.
But, you know, when a D&D player manages to aaper in your room out of nowhere you probably should get a 34D*
*There’s a 34D?
Also, yes please, let’s kill masculinity and femininity with fire. Let’s just keep all the nice stuff like sparkle and chopping wood and barbecues and unicorns (always unicorns!) without having a ton of people judge our gender performance
Huh….I was under the impression that Mens Health was marketed for closeted gay men anyway….
Can I ask why you think that?