The rage against the cosplay girls (& fake nerd girls)

Whenever I Googled any aspect to do with “fake geek girls” or other aspects of regular nerdrage, this blogpost kept popping up. It’s titled “Why Cosplay Girls Annoy The Shit Out Of Me”.

I thought I’d write a response, since the comments seem to mostly agree with it and I’ve not seen one critically examine it’s strange claims. Sorry that it’s a little old.

I am anticipating a sudden drop in my number of online friends and an immediate rise in hatemail. Why? Because today I am calling out cosplay girls.

Not guys.

I am a science fiction fan, and I mean that in the “I know who Theodore Sturgeon, Robert Sheckley, Fredirik Pohl and a whole bunch of other people you have no idea are because you think watching 6 seasons of Lost made you a hardcore Sci-Fi fan”

Oh please! He think this proves his credentials?!So I’ll ask him: How many times did Captain Kirk use the letter “s” in the entire series? What’s the name of the second musician in the bar scene from Star Wars and what’s the name of the instrument he’s playing? What was the name of the producer’s assistant’s hairdresser’s boyfriend from Back to the Future? Bet you don’t know the answer, you fake geek guy!

and you’d think that I would be all about hot chicks picking up on my interests, but I am not. Why? Because these girls, as a general rule, suck.


The first thing about cosplay girls is that their average age is 11-17 years old.

Citation needed. From what area? According to this Polygon piece: “the average age for entering the hobby hovers between high school and college” (citation needed there, too, by the way, but they’re probably more reliable given their ethics and journalism requirements).

Now, I don’t have my law degree by any means but I am pretty sure that even SEEING a girl who is 14 and thinks a public appropriate outfit is one where there is a patch of fur covering her butt crack and 2 pieces of tape modestly concealing the part of the nipple that sticks out but leaving the aureola mostly exposed is grounds for a sex offense if you’re looking at it and over the age of 18.

Yeah, he’s clearly not thinking about underage girls as cosplayers hard or deep enough. (Hint: that’s one long sentence)

And this is why some guys now have to go door to door and say hello to their new neighbors when they move into a new neighborhood

Victim-blaming and men as mindless rape drones. Very nice.

Let me put it to you this way, a good way of defining whether or not an underage girl in any given outfit is morally bad is to ask yourself the following hypothetical question:

You can judge someone’s “morality” by their outfit?

If said girl was on a stage and I had a dollar bill in my hand when the cops came through the door would I be spending the next 5 to 10 as the lowest ranking caste in the correctional system? Seriously, if having a picture of it on your hard drive would cause a statch charge it’s probably not good in public.

OK, maybe he’s saying how to judge whether it’s wrong to sexually engage with a cosplayer and age matters? Well yes: age and consent, not whether they’re a stripper or sex worker. Being either of those isn’t a bad thing, necessarily.

Also, cosplay girls, I have to bust your nuts on another thing: what you are doing is NOT costuming.

Please do tell us what costuming is really about, since people who’ve spent days or months designing and preparing costumes you deem morally offensive are clearly wrong!

According to this gentleman, this is a costume:

“Acceptable” Cosplay girl

But this isn’t:

“Unacceptable” Cosplay girl

Pictured: cosplay girls! One is fine, the other isn’t. So… I guess his title should’ve been “why certain cosplay girls [the slutty ones!] annoy the shit out of me”.

Costumes are things that completely transform a person into an unrecognizable form or a fantasy, they are things that require long periods of time and skill to create. Your work generally requires a wig from Ebay and some 1/8th yard snippets from the scrap bin at JoAnne Fabrics. Think I’m full of shit and don’t know what I’m talking about? Let me ask you this, and answer honestly: What was the last costume you had that DID NOT require a wig, used more than a yard of fabric and covered your mid riff? Yeah, I thought so.

The Lord Captain Commander of Costume has spoken. Instead of calling it a “bad” costume or a “slutty” costume or whatever pejorative phrase – it’s not a costume at all! It’s… it’s a way to get attention! A gateway drug to moral badness! Death from the skies! Dogs marrying cats! Lakes of fire!

It also bugs me that I see a lot of these people in general being hailed as “creative”.

He is also the Prince Regent of Creativity.

Replicating something someone else created is not creative.

Yeah, all you talented painters who are able to paint near-perfect works: you’re not creative at all! Second, replicating, copying, etc., can be creative – it may be wrong, it may be cheap, but it’s not necessarily lacking in creativity.

You’re an OK copy artist, congratulations at tracing the lines ass hat.

Yeah, Disney artists and animators and so forth. You suck! You idiot people who bring to life other people’s creation in costume-form!

Oh wait, that is a costume.

But… but it can’t be a bad costume! That’s what he means. Put some effort in, dammit.

Um, that just makes you not very good as an artist. So… why not simply say that? Or rather, why say that at all? And how does the inability to make perfect costumes tie in with knowing who the second cousin’s hairdresser from Jurassic Park is, again?

See, you’re not really even PLAYING or pretending at costuming. Your efforts are so weak that they couldn’t even be considered valid for costuming, what you’re actually playing at is whoring.

Well, that escalated quickly.

I’m not saying you ARE whores, I’m saying you’re doing a fantastic job playing them.

And? You’re saying there’s no interesting sex worker characters in things so-called “geeks” enjoy ? There are no beloved characters who show skin? And if they are, then cosplayers portraying them are actually doing a good job at creating the costumes. And if they do a bad job, then it’s a bad costume job, not “bad because slutty” – I’m very confused at the target of his hate.

You’re kind of failing in two highly disparate yet somehow connected areas, namely costuming and slutting around.

Someone please tell me: What is “slutting around”? Is it that magical women force that turns good, normal men into rapists? Oh those evil women and their magical powers!

You’re failing at costuming because your craftsmanship is for shit and does not exemplify a concerted effort into the field

OK, so we’re yelling at bad costume makers?

and you’re failing at being sluts because you just look like one but you’re not actually ponying up the goods/effort in that area either.

OK, so we’re yelling at “slutty” women, because dressing slutty means they need to immediately give us sexy time and they’re not doing that (i.e. “ponying up the goods”) even though they’re dressed slutty?

But what if there’s a beautifully created cosplay of a sexy character by a woman who – shock! horror! – just loves that character? What if – I know this is weird – but what if it’s possible for women to wear clothes that show a lot of skin, cling tightly to their bodies, but aren’t trying to sleep with every man in their immediate vicinity? What if women were actual persons who cared more about them feeling good than being stand-in jack-off material for paranoid men?

I realize I’m being harsh here but don’t take it too personally, you’re in the right age group for this.

Wait. I thought he said they were under age? Also, you’ve namecalled with sluts, asshat and so forth, mocked poor costume design and equate slutty-dressing with automatic sexual favours – but women (sorry, slutty women) shouldn’t take it personally? Oh, OK then.

When you live at home no one really expects a lot from you so half assing everything is ok, we’re not looking at any of you and expecting anything great so if the best thing you can provide the world with at this point is some prepubescent spank bank deposits, fine.

Unless “spank bank deposits” is blogposts like this, I’m not sure what this weird generalisation means.

Just do us all a favor and make up for it by doing something worthwhile later in life like curing cancer, teaching the next Helen Keller to talk

Yes: People ought to forget what their talents or loves are and should all just start curing diseases, because everyone is equally capable of that. (Irrelevant comment but I do hope this gentleman is helping cure cancer and so forth to not convey hypocrisy)

or being at least nominally less worthless than you are now…

Worthless? How can such a claim be made about strangers you’ve not spoken to but have merely judged en masse or created from the fever-dreams of fearful men?

unless of course you’re in your late 20′s and still doing this, in which case god help you.

Cats marrying dogs! Lakes of fire! Seas of blood!

You’re in for a hard landing when reality sets in and you realize what a continental dollar male attention really is, especially when your 16 year old breasts make way for Harley Davidson udders.

Male attention! Male attention. The anchor of all things!

Being the hot chick people want to fuck has a way of leaving you optionless in your later years as no one wants to see an octogenarian Aeon Flux and slipping past the door guards for the merch room at the Trek convention isn’t really a career skillset.

Yes beautiful women only function in one way and serve one function as a breeding machine – or encouragement for breeding simulation. No one finds successful accomplished women beautiful anywhere. Nope. Beautiful women are only sluts and have no talent. Glad we cleared that up.

Now look, I’m not against skanky outfits.


I generally think you can judge how fucked a society is by how AGAINST girls in sexy outfits it is.

Is this a different writer?

I think that’s why the Middle East is such a mess, because they don’t embrace the awesomeness that is baby doll t-shirts but there’s an appropriate context here. I’m not a puritan, I’m about the least sexually uptight person on the planet but I restrict my appreciation to that of girls who are a legal age, which is more than I can say for most convention attendees.

Seriously what just happened?

Go to any convention and try this: Take a drink every time you see a group of cosplay girls with 5-10 sketchy as fuck, unshowered, greasy haired male photographers clambering for a shot. You’ll be dead from liver failure before you get past the galleria. You know the type, some jackhole who is age 24-98 who has a telephoto lens that can get a better clear shot of the Pillars of Creation than the hubble telescope and can make a 6,200 megapixel jpeg of a girls single pore from 1,200 feet away. A fucking creeper is what I’m getting at.

Gross and, from what I hear, true for some places. Hopefully being reduced now thanks to effective harassment policies.

Look, I do female photography and I work damned hard NOT to be a creeper and I will admit, it’s hard. As a guy any time I get a camera in my hand I feel the urge to take a picture of hot chick but the thing is I can also control my breathing, NOT sweat profusely and kinda keep my shit in check so that I don’t convey the ultimate picture of a guy who is going to go home and knock his gong around the minute he gets that picture into Photoshop. Washing the bucket of grease out of your hair and not getting pathetically excited or frantic about shooting EVERY single girl at the con is a good start.

It sounds harder (excuse the pun) than it should be. But OK. Good for you. I’d hope he’d include the words “respect” and “person” (and maybe “women”?) but that’s OK, kind of.

Not that they’d have sex with you anyways.

But… but…

They wouldn’t know what to do with a live penis.

I always love (i.e. hate) the description of “live penis” like this entity that exists to test women. I always think of the snakes in Prometheus.

Speaking of swords, that’s another thing and this one isn’t limited to the chicks- cosplayers, your swords are fucking ridiculous. In the world of fake weaponry nothing is more absurd than a sword so huge you could cut a slice of cake from 2 zipcodes away but you actually COULDN’T because it’s made of duct tape. As a fan of fake weaponry I have to say, it’s got to be enough that it doesn’t work, don’t add to it by making it utterly functionless as well.

Oh, OK. So now we’re targetting poor weaponsmiths. Not just slutty cosplay girls?

The other problem is, these girls don’t just stick to the anime conventions, nope. They have started invading Sci-Fi conventions as well.

“Invading”? I forgot that there are gatekeepers who only let in those who can answer all 999 “geek” questions, in Klingon, making sure your dress is below the knee and show minimal skin before letting you in. (Men are not tested, though, obviously).

Seriously? “Invading”?

I know most of your 64 points of IQ went into deciding what blue wig you needed to wear so you could properly represent the image of some bullshit character, but ANIME AND SCI-FI ARE NOT THE SAME THINGS DUMBASS.

Yeah! Anime is Japanese animated products and sci-fi is a genre that animated products can be! Yes, there exist an extensive range of sci-fi anime but… but that’s not the point!

Sci-fi is never anime!

I mean, unless it is. But they’re not the same thing! Just like theatre and Shakespeare aren’t the same thing so you can’t just dress Shakespearean to a theatre convention!

I mean, you can. But… Look, they’re not the same thing and I know the difference – a difference I’ve decided on – and that’s what matters!

You’re the same types of people who go to a Japanese restaurant and demand eggrolls because you’re too god damned self obsessed to realize THIS SHIT DOESN’T CONCERN YOU.

Eggrolls don’t concern me? What if I want eggrolls?

Or is he saying that cosplay girls who attend conventions aren’t concerned? If they’re not concerned, why would they make the effort to attend? Oh, I suppose they’re just trying to be “slutty”. But… isn’t there better, more lucrative ways to do that than in an arena renowned for its sexism and terrible treatment and perception of women (as is evidenced right here).

You’re so desperate to spread yourself around that you try to shoehorn your bullshit into ANY event no matter how inapplicable it truly is.

“Spread yourself”? What? And what “bullshit”? I don’t know what’s happening right now. Does he mean he dislikes their inability to answer the 999 “geek” questions?

You dumbasses show up to Sci-fi conventions dressed as anime characters, renaissance festivals dressed as pirates never thinking twice that you’re about as accurate as a harpoon used for sewing purposes.

Um. Again: anime can be sci-fi. Unless there’s a criteria for what that means that excludes anime. Also, why get angry at people not knowing what’s “appropriate”? Does their presence so destroy the environment that people (i.e. men) like him can’t function? Because how can they enjoy their convention when there are people who don’t know the answers to the 999 questions within the same sacred vicinity!

That’s cosplayers in general, people who want to jam a square cock into a round vagina any chance they get.


This needs to be read in full.

When I first started going to the local Star-Fest/Sci-Fi conventions there was one basic category of attendees – Shitty looking 30-45 year old men with pot bellies who lived their off hours outside of being ardent coders by sleeping on the parent pillow. I rested comfortably knowing that if I were to go to a convention I would be surrounded by fat fucktards who smelled like bad butter and who would be wearing Klingon foreheads and giant oversized glasses from Lens Crafters that went out of style in 1982.

The problem is, as with any convention that is unconventional, it becomes a dumping ground for all the other crap that doesn’t fit anywhere else. People go “Oh look, people who are weird are here, I’m weird too so I won’t bother checking to see if my weirdness is COMPATIBLE, I’ll just dump my ass in there!”

Now all this could be ignored if I could just write it off on the same ticket that we give male cosplayers and sci-fi fans an active out with, namely that it’s excusable because you’re a nerd, socially retarded and don’t know any better because you spent all your life watching Star Trek, but that’s not the case. They’re not real nerds either.

What are “real nerds”? Please. Tell me. Someone. And “real” geeks? What are these nonsense categories? Just love and enjoy things.

Call yourself these terms if you wish – they seem quite dated and high-schoolish to me – but don’t use them as barriers to treat others as lesser persons. Their love doesn’t undermine yours; their inabilty to know as much as you doesn’t undermine your knowledge or love or passion. It makes no sense to get this upset and so bizarre in your anger, when these people’s less impressive knowledge – but maybe equally devoted love – causes you to write tirades and create bogus terms like “real nerds”.

A few weeks back I was at the club and some girl is going off on what a nerd she is. What were her credentials?

Oh god.

[Her “credentials were”] Playing Call of Duty and Portal nonstop. That was it.

Er. That’s it? Is there course work she didn’t complete at the Geek University that you’re the Dean of?

I had to point out that being a GAMER is not the same as being a nerd but she just kinda looked at me as though I told her gravity was a liquid and it tasted like gummy bears. Great dumbass, you think playing video games makes you an intellectual elite with a taste for high quality fantasy? It doesn’t.

Ah! So nerd is “intellectual elite with a taste for high quality fantasy”.

Well, I hope no one ever calls themselves a nerd again because no one should refer to herself as an “intellectual elite” unless you’re a Nobel science laureate or equivalent. And even then, you don’t hear these amazing people refer to themselves as elite.

What’s interesting is that he conveys complete honesty, which is both insightful and equally worrying.

Am I bitter? Absolutely, 100%. Why? Because as someone who grew up being ostracized for being a dork ass outsider, someone who was routinely ridiculed by girls for not liking sports and trendy music I can I.D. shallow bitches from a mile away and it pisses me the hell off to see girls who most assuredly would have been treating nerd boys like lepers in middle school now capitalizing on their attention later in life because being a nerd is cool.

This is the most honest explanation for nerdrage at “girls” I’ve read. There’s not much to say here.

This is not justification and that’s the problem: he and others like him appear to have this as their biographical detail leading to their anger, then build an empire of elitist nonsense and create a knee-jerk gatekeeping inquisition. The justifications are non-existent and make no sense, but that’s due to them being forced to articulate their anger – which, once articulated, is recognised as being unjustified and holding no water.

An abused child who grows up to abuse his wife doesn’t get a free pass due to biography. Thus “nerds” who use their anger at being ostracised and seeing their precious franchises and hobbies become mainstream do not get a free pass for their anger either.

Lastly, Anime, I gotta say it… one thing you probably don’t realize is that anime isn’t a brilliant art form. You think it is because you have no frame of reference aside from flipping your shit in groups of 10 at the San Rio store but it’s actually kinda crap in Japan.

Well, no. Certain anime. But… wait. Are we judging girls for being slutty, poor costumers, poor weaponsmiths or having poor taste?

If you had ever been to Japan you’d know that pretty much EVERYTHING in that place is accented with drawings so cute that they shit cartoon cats. In Japan Anime isn’t really this esteemed art form, it’s pulp, you’re celebrating something mass produced with very little attention to quality.

You may only like things that are not popular to be a “true” nerd, remember? As I say, good thing no one should try to be a “true” nerd then.

At any rate, if you agree with this sentiment, feel free to cross post it. If you hate it and want me dead because I insulted you and your group of squeeling, Companion Cube loving friends feel free to direct your friends here to give me what for, seriously, burst your hearts hot shell upon me. I can imagine nothing better than a frothing group of cosplayers attempting to accost me at the next Sci-Fi convention with their giant tape swords and hand painted Mavaricks with pressure gauges hot glued to them.

Or, you know, it’s possible to disagree with your argument via the same format you produced it?

UPDATE: Reader “besomkya” alerted me to this wonderful site selling the best T-Shirts on this issue, summarised by the Doubleclicks

“There are no fake geeks, only real jerks”

Profits from the awesome T-shirts go to AppCamp4Girls which is “a place where girls can put their creative power to work, concepting and building apps, while learning more about the business of software and being inspired by women who are professional software developers”.


  1. says

    Whoa, that was long. Well done Tauriq for subjecting yourself to it so that the rest of us don’t have to.

    Also, “Harley Davidson udders” sounds pretty hot, actually.

  2. says

    You’re missing the point. Really cool people find something to hate about everything. This guy runs around taking photos of women at events packed with people he regards with contempt, while despising the women for letting him take photos of them and ignoring the fact that he’s one of the people packing the event. It’s an infinitely satisfactory life for him, I guess.

  3. says

    Um…has this borterline-pervy wanker been to Otacon in Baltimore? Even the most revealing costumes are closer to his first example than to his second. And yes, the “girls” in question at least appeared to be 18 or over.

    As for the question of underage girls going out in revealing outfits, there are several issues here this fool seems to have missed. First, there’s the question of parental guidance and permission. Second, an event like Otacon will (or at least should be expected to) have something called “rules” and “security,” which should make it relatively safe for minors to go about without being harassed or assaulted; and parents should check on this before deciding whether to let their kids go to such events. There’s a difference between going out in skimpy clothes to an organized event with some security and access restrictions (as in, you have to register and pay to get in), and going out in skimpy clothes to a pub full of strangers.

    But hey, why am I bothering with all this? This guy isn’t really concerned about the kids’ safety, is he?

    • Tauriq Moosa says

      First, I’d be hesitant with the namecalling since that is his strategy and I’m trying to stick as close to his arguments as a I can.

      Second, yes. You’re absolutely right. It’s that weird mixture of concern that slips into victim-blaming with a blink of an eye. I don’t quite understand it.

      Indeed, even if they went to a pub full of strangers, the wrong would rest with anyone who interacted with them inappropriately and without their consent (assuming that happens, hopefully not). If we lived in an ideal world where people weren’t horrible to each other, anyone should be able to wear whatever they want, wherever they want (in most cases).

  4. besomyka says

    Hmm, this might be relevent, so I’m just gonna leave this here for those interested:

    “There are no fake geeks, only real jerks”. Profits go to AppCamp4Girls, which put on camps for young women (12-14) where they brainstorm, build, and pitch mobile apps.

      • Numenaster says

        The link in the main story only leads to a picture of the shirt (not zoomable, so I couldn’t read it). Besomyka’s original link leads to the front page of the organization and is a better destination for anyone who actually wants to support the initiative.

        • Tauriq Moosa says

          The same link besomkya gave is in the paragraph itself (“this wonderful site selling the best T-Shirts on this issue”). The picture as always with my posts is linked to original source of jpg itself. Readers have already indicated to me they’re getting to the site.

  5. says

    Replicating something someone else created is not creative.

    Um…isn’t that the point of costuming? Replicating the costumes created by the creator of one’s favorite characters?

    And while such replication may not be “creative” by this guy’s oh-so-exacting standards, I’d say a lot of the costumes I’ve seen are pretty clever, clearly took a good bit of work, and don’t show enough skin to be classed as “slutty” or “porn.” In fact, many of them showed LESS skin than young women’s normal summer clothes.

    Pretentious hipster is pretentious.

    • Tauriq Moosa says

      >> “In fact, many of them showed LESS skin than young women’s normal summer clothes.”

      That’s a good point but only highlights how weird his targeting is and how uncertain what he’s angry about gives away his animosity, rather than his insight.

  6. says

    If you hate it and want me dead because I insulted you and your group of squeeling, Companion Cube loving friends feel free to direct your friends here to give me what for, seriously, burst your hearts hot shell upon me. I can imagine nothing better than a frothing group of cosplayers attempting to accost me at the next Sci-Fi convention with their giant tape swords and hand painted Mavaricks with pressure gauges hot glued to them.

    He wants to be “accosted” by the skimpy-clad minors he’s bashing? Methinks he should have kept that fantasy to himself.

  7. says

    BTW, in case this guy really is speaking out of condern for the safety of minors in sexy outfits, here’s Otakon’s rules, FWIW:

    We work very hard to ensure that Otakon takes place in a safe and family-friendly environment, and we need your cooperation. We have policies to address specifics such as weapons and lost children. We also have a general policy that we do not tolerate disruptive behavior of any sort, and we can and will take action when we see something we feel is dangerous or disruptive. The type of action we take may range from a quiet but stern word in private to forcible ejection from the convention, revocation of your membership in Otakorp, Inc., or even criminal charges. (Action taken is solely at the discretion of Otakorp, Inc.)

    The sorts of things that may trigger such action include but are not limited to: fighting (fake or real), heckling, impeding traffic flow, offensive behavior, failure to observe basic hygiene, public inebriation / intoxication, or any other failure to follow the rules and directions of staff members. Remember, anything illegal outside the BCC is illegal inside the BCC! If your behavior is clearly problematic, we will deal with it as such. Show common courtesy to your fellow otaku, and follow the rules, so there’s no problems.

  8. says

    “The first thing about cosplay girls is that their average age is 11-17 years old.”

    I don’t need to read any more of this ignoramus’ rant. Every single convention I’ve been to — and I’ve been to many — have had very large contingents of adult women cosplayers, including many who were already adults when Theodore Sturgeon, Robert Sheckley, Fredirik Pohl — and Isaac Asimov, Robert Heinlein, Marion Zimmer Bradley, Arthur C. Clarke and John Campbell — were still writing. Trust me: he hasn’t seen a cosplay “girl” until he’s seen a brawny woman done up in full Klingon battle gear and make-up… pushing her grandson in a baby carriage, with both baby and carriage done up to match her costume.

    But given the crap he spews further, I doubt that such cosplay even registers with him: he’s only interested in the barely pubescent girls, and pissed off that they find him to be a creepy perv.

  9. says

    …cosplayers, your swords are fucking ridiculous.

    Maybe, but non-ridiculous weapons are generally not allowed at conventions (Otakon has rules about that too). They also cost a lot of money.

  10. says

    …a brawny woman done up in full Klingon battle gear and make-up pushing her grandson in a baby carriage, with both baby and carriage done up to match her costume.

    A Klingon pram? What happens when she tries to bring one into a mall elevator when there’s already a mom with an SUPram? A glorious battle that everyone else can watch through the glass walls?

  11. Sassafras says


    I like how both the picture he lauds as a good costume and the one he derides as a stripper costume are from sci-fi anime and games. If he doesn’t understand the difference between “genre” and “medium”, then he’s a fake nerd.

    In Japan Anime isn’t really this esteemed art form, it’s pulp, you’re celebrating something mass produced with very little attention to quality.

    Kind of like how sci-fi in America has historically been viewed as throwaway pulp and not real literature, and the only time it’s given attention is when it’s made into special-effects-spectacle movies for mass consumption.

  12. doublereed says

    Hahaha, that was a lot of fun to read. I especially enjoyed


    Is this a different writer?

    Seriously what just happened?

  13. Pen says

    He owned this space and it allowed him to take himself very seriously and now it’s been invaded by people he’d never dream of taking seriously, and…gasp! They’re going round doing what they want. They don’t listen to him. Not even when he goes round telling them he’s basically inclined to see them as sex toys and they really should do everything they can to help him not do that! Weep for him!

  14. says

    I think the concept of a “fake geek” is fascinating. I’ve run into people like this before. When my girlfriend and I were putting up an ad for a room for rent, we noted the kind of people we are–gamers, science fiction fans, “geeks” if you will. We got a response from some girl who was clearly trying to placate us with “I like to geek out on call of duty lol,” and it was my girlfriend who was first dismissive of this, not me.

    While I don’t agree with this bizarre, rambling, ranting blog, I think I understand his issues. He went from being a nobody that was essentially a geek or a nerd to seeing the stuff he likes become the new popular norm and he doesn’t like the girls involved now because he sees them as the same girls/women who rebuffed him in the past, or looked down their noses at him.

    He still feels unpopular, but now he’s unpopular in the stuff where he used to feel comfortable.

    Interestingly, I’ve seen this same kind of attitude spring up in another of my interests–the Metal community. Heavy Metal–the real, focused, underground stuff, not the pop-centric stuff of Motley Crue or ye olden Guns n Roses–was long the domain of disgruntled, unpopular, outcast males. In the late 1990’s and early 2000’s when that music found a mild mainstream resurgence, suddenly the number of women went way up. Essentially, 20 years ago, a woman at a Death Metal concert was nigh unthinkable. A place for disenfranchised dudes to blow off steam, mosh, and drink (general stereotype). Now, you’ll find women at Death Metal concerts. In the early 90’s, bands like Death, Morbid Angel, and Cannibal Corpse would have been almost entirely shows for white males. Now, DM bands like Amon Amarth and, surprisingly, Cannibal Corpse will now have their own female fans–indeed, Cannibal Corpse dedicated the song “Fucked with a Knife” to the females in the audience when I saw them, and they sold Cannibal Corpse-emblazoned underwear for the ladies. No rad boxers for men, for some reason.

    It’s a perception thing, and I’m not perfect at dealing with it, and have had to dial back knee-jerk reactions of “what the hell? She’s no geek/metalhead” to realize that “dumbass, times have changed. Maybe she actually likes Hypocrisy.” At the same time, I have seen people–mostly female–who are in attendance and don’t know what it is they’re seeing. At OzzFest one year, someone of the female persuasion seemed only interested in listening to a certain band because “they’re big now.” (Bear with me on this anecdote for a moment before the reply, should one be incoming.) Here is where part of this issue comes in for long-time fans. We/they have liked, say, Slayer or Star Trek for years, well over a decade maybe–so they feel a certain superiority to anyone who later when it was popular, such as latter-day Slayer which has a bizarre mainstream success, or the mainstream success Star Trek got when J.J. Abrahms turned it into a vapid action film (so yes, I was that Trek nerd who disapproves of what’s happening now).

    “You’re just a fan because it’s popular now, fuck you.” Nobody likes fair-weather fans, and that’s what some of these people are seen as. They only like it because it’s popular. When Star Trek isn’t cool anymore, they won’t be around. When Metal isn’t being played on radio stations anymore, they won’t be around.

    Now, to round this off–I have ALSO seen these attitudes in males. A former friend of mine who was part of a group of us that went to OzzFest dismissed Slayer because “they aren’t that big,” as if popularity matters to taste (and it never should, and that’s seen as an issue among the self-described geeks/metalheads/nerds/etc). This was, I would have to say, OzzFest 2001, and the beginning of Slayer’s new full-blown mainstream “bigness,” even after nearly two decades of a growing fanbase. Slayer was “very big,” but that wasn’t the point, it was that he didn’t care because he didn’t think they were popular.

    So why do women get it worse? Because, as noted, these things used to be the realm of males to find some kind of happiness, solace. The women these men could never get are here now. But they’re still bitter, and they add a level of Muslim-like sexual tension to how they view the women who are now where they weren’t decades ago. These are “fake geeks.” They’re here “because it’s popular now.” And worst of all, they’re “the girls that wouldn’t give me the time of day for liking this stuff years ago.”

    Women shouldn’t be viewed worse for coming into the geek/nerd/gamer/sci-fi/metal/angry male fold. And hell, I like outfits that show skin–male or female. People should be able to be comfortable and proud of their bodies so long as, you know, there is something to be proud of–no, people don’t need to be perfect, but I’m a little tired of unhealthily over or underweight people “being proud” of something they totally should recognize as horribly unhealthy. (This is a bad influence to others, as it teaches/inspires one/others to be proud of being grossly unhealthy–but this is a separate rant entirely–in short, I have no problem with showing skin or nudity and that, in general, we should be a less stuck-up society in this regard. We celebrate violence but fear the human body, and I personally dislike that.) I like the visual appeal of an attractive woman in a great outfit or cosplay or whathaveyou, but I recognize said women are not just idols or objects to be ogled or used and no one should ever have to be made to feel such a way because he/she wants to dress up like a character that may or may not involve the appearance of a lot of underboob or manbulge.

    I’m just trying to explain this stupidity from the view of someone who has done his best to outgrow it.

    Geez that’s a lot of writing. I hope my point didn’t get lost in there.

    • says

      By the way, I’m not saying the blog in question is excusable, only to explain what in his brain may be broken concerning this. I actually found this quite interesting, and enjoy reading and seeing things that have me deeper examining my views and feelings on various subjects.

      • The Apostate says

        I think I understand what you mean — I’m pretty certain I felt twinges of it when I was a teen — but the thing is it just reads as an impotent complaint about how he can’t get laid, even when the girls he’s interested in are fans of the same stuff. It looks like his “sparkling personality” isn’t doing him any favours. I’m terribly surprised, what with his vitriolic, slut-shaming rant directed at individuals he should be encouraging to read and watch the stuff he’s interested in, instead.

        Here’s an idea: instead of complaining that all the “gamer girl” did was play Call of Duty and Portal, how about try to use the mutual common ground to try and introduce more media — stuff he likes. Maybe he could do with figuring out that these girls like dressing as characters they think are cool, and if he’s worried about how “slutty” they are, then his problem lies with the male game designers and character artists who created these outfits, and not with the women who sometimes (ok, often) have little options that aren’t in the centre of the Venn diagram of revealing and badass.

        • The Apostate says

          …I didn’t mean to sound as confrontational on that one; I was using your post as a jumping-off point. I’m sorry if it came off as confrontational towards yourself.

    • says

      I really think that everyone and everything would be just fine if you and most everybody spent little to zero time trying to understand the mindset of people like this. The problem with his thinking is not that it’s mysterious. The problem with his thinking is that it’s reprehensible.

  15. says

    I hate the excuse “I was ostracized”. So am I, jackass. Its only cool to dress as an anime character to animu fans. Its only okay to gush over Touhou near Touhou fans. Its not like I tell my coworkers my hobbies: I don’t need the drama in my life of the women at my office being jackasses to me, let alone the dudes. Also applicable to “only smart people get to be nerds”. I’m probably better educated than you, and I sure as fuck don’t care. The more people who like nerd shit (which I define as inclusively as possible) the better.

    In Japan Anime isn’t really this esteemed art form, it’s pulp, you’re celebrating something mass produced with very little attention to quality.

    It really depends on which show, go fig. Its rather like saying all broadcast tv is schlock. Idiots.

  16. Zhou says

    This guys is not right, girls wearing skinshowing shit no matter what you do even if they DONT try to be slutty while wearing it it would still come over like that, dont get me wrong as a guy id prefer watching at a girl that shows skin free show = cool with me but just keep this in mind where is your dignity?

  17. Anon Nymous says

    I’ve lost interest in cos-players for some time now. I remember way back in 1999-2000, I was a big fan of them and found them very inspiring. Not many dressed like street walkers with open boob windows back then. In fact, I don’t recall any female doing what some over zealous girls do today, just to get attention. Over the years though, I noticed a painful growth of obnoxious behavior backed with an ego unmatched and plenty of drama between cos-players (and their photographers too!). A lot of Facebook activities and constant complaints and claims of misogynistic behavior. Out of curiosity, I looked into some of these complaints and all it sounded to me was “i can wear whatever I want and if I want to look like a skank, then I will, but you can’t treat me like one and I demand you treat me the same as you would someone who has more self respect than I.” skrrreeech, time out! So in the end a lot of it was all ego.

    There were a few problems between cos-player girls I recall who were basically cat fighting on the internet because of a case of “he said she said”. It went like, “LOOK AT ME, NOT HER!” “I wear this better than her!”, then the other hears about it and blam…an all out war over who looks better as a flippin pikachu or something in that nature. Honestly, after a while, I feel a little filthy reading their garbage.
    Though it isn’t fair to round up every single cos-player out there over a certain number of very popular egomaniacs, it still ruined the fun for me to bother following their trend anymore and I don’t really care to notice them at conventions now. It’s too bad. …and weird. It’s fucking costumes. lol.

  18. Tom Hagen says

    My response to the original post………

    ROFL!! Super Hater! You can tell he got shot down a lot I guess being “Supreme Dungeon Master” doesn’t quite make the panties wet or drop like he thought they would. He can tell you all about Sci Fi but the real fiction is he knows what the inside of a vagina feels like. The saga will continue through commercials for Haterade boy is it in you! LO

  19. says

    I had read the original article earlier today before reading this and I’m glad I’m not the only one who thought that he was spouting out bullshit. Except if I were to try the same thing it wouldn’t had been nearly as well written as you did. Good job.