I was perusing an artifact from about thirteen, fourteen years ago?  A strange work of art made in collaboration with another guy while we were working a job that gave us time to do things with our hands.  There’s a kind of intensity to it that boggles my mind – so much work went into this thing, so much creativity.  Makes me wonder – was that it?  The apex of my life, from which all else is downhill?  If so, that was a rather shameful waste of an entire human existence.  It is fundamentally not good.

Well, another year is dawning soon, and with that another opportunity to prove to myself that I can still make good stuff happen.  2022, Hell save us.

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There was a video game called Monster Rancher once upon a time.  You trained monsters to fight, because cockfighting is for kids.  Sometimes a monster would lose its focus in a fight, and instead of a cool move, it would “do foolery.”  The tongue monster lolled its tongue around, the jelly monster turned into a question mark.

I’m tired of heavy subjects at the moment, and got no time for anything substantial anyhow, so allow me, for the moment, to do foolery.

what IS IT to poast or not to poste? can’t do. who talk is. I wansdgtrodk wto get me thru this smi-charmed kindalife babay babaywc;okvk nodlisnen when u say goodbyeeeeeee.  -Dpoijcfwoivjfeasx etedwsqk I’m mdwofijo  oof ouch owie bnsoaijc bleeeeeeah sdvcpok p gentlemen we have liftoff dw0owhy my titty hurt oisxiajpio io imma keep is xapok xs imma imma tank a nap.  Cool.

it’s your turn. sleepwalk thru my comments. express your inner nyquil. do foolery.

-o-

Some people do Duolingo lessons both ways – in my case from English to German and German to English, alternately.  When signing into or out of Duolingo in German user interface, I found myself practicing words like “abmelden.”  Then when I switch to back to English UI, I found myself paying more attention to the phrases “sign in” and “log out” then I normally would.  Maybe it also has something to do with the fact I often go for a walk right after Duo, so I end up stating that as my intention out loud – “OK… I’m logging out.”

Anyway, the phrase “log out” and similar combos of one syllable words and “out” always make me think of the use of “black out” in Bauhaus’s “Lilies and Remains.”  While your boy David J is fleeing from ghost-ridden Peter Murphy, he hides in a locker – number 13 – and “barely concealed but hopeful, BLACK OUT.  BLACK OUT.”

So as I’m finishing my Duolingo at night, barely concealed but hopeful, I LOG OUT.  LOG OUT.

This is all not terribly interesting, but people don’t talk about these experiences in media very often and I wonder how universal they are – or are not.  Does practically everybody do this, at least sometimes in some ways, or is it only those on a grade toward Tourette’s or OCD or something?  Feel like some of my bloggy comrades may have something to say about that.

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EDIT TO ADD:  The God Emperor of Doing this Intentionally to Make Their Song Immortal has to be Nelly, who must be invoked literally any time anyone ever says the phrase, “It’s getting hot in here.”  Indeed, I wonder if he is profiting from global warming.

This morning is the first of my Fridays off since changing my work schedule* and I was hoping to come out the gate with a full head of steam, but my back was a bit funky and I was like, I’ll just rest a bit.  Then I had one of those dreams where nothing works right.  For reasons I don’t remember, I took a bus to Seattle, but then I still tried to do my job, which is on phones.  I had a phone that was basically a piece of paper.  I was having a sad annoying call then I remembered a phone the thickness of a piece of paper would have bad battery life, and it cut out.

But for some reason that just interrupted one call, then another dropped in.  Then I remembered I’m not supposed to be working because I have today off, but I couldn’t stop taking calls neatly without hanging up on another customer.  Then I went down through Pike Place Market, like I used to do in college.  It was hugely crowded, then I remembered it’s been less than fifteen days since my last COVID shot and I didn’t have a mask, so I started trying to bum one off of restaurant workers.

I got a mask and met my boyfriend.  We went into a coffee/art shop and there were skinny European neo-nazis in there.  We left, on the way out suggesting to the restaurant they call the cops.  In the next place we went, I saw some burly antifa types.  This is funny because IRL neo-nazis are more likely to be muscleheads and antifas more likely to be scrawny lil bros.  But I then remembered there were nazis next door and told the antifas.  They went next door and some kind of noisy rumpus began.

But on our way out, I saw some nazis chilling outside and was like, what the fuck did the antifas do?  Get distracted by a shiny object?  We kept leaving.

At some point my boyfriend went missing and I knew when I found him, he’d either be pretending to be one of the ghosts from Kiyoshi Kurosawa’s Pulse, or he would actually be one, a shadow melting into a wall and saying “help me.”  I found him behind a couch looking shadowy and threw a pillow at him to get him to stop melting.

He stood up and laughed it off like he wasn’t going to do that, but he was vibrating like a movie ghost.  I remembered he has epilepsy and wondered if it was relevant.  I don’t remember how the dream ended, but here I am.  Time to get to work!  As a creator…

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*to be strictly accurate, this is the first friday of the new schedule where i didn’t have another huge obstacle in the way.  hasn’t been going great.  still at it tho.

If you got that reference congrats u r dork.  I just think of that song sometimes when I must hold an unproductive thought at bay.  Now is not the time for melancholy.  It’s my first Friday off since my change to a 4-day week and it’s time to be productive.  Productive!   I will array my demons for closer analysis.  It’s time…

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