MonsterHearts Days Nine Again, Six, and X

Monsterhearts is a 14 day event (named after a pervy RPG) wherein my writing group votes on a monster each day to include in a story concept.  As we marched toward Valentine’s Day, the theme was supernatural romance.  I didn’t make the deadline, but will see if I can put ’em all on the blog by the last day of this month.  I repeated Day Nine because I forgot I’d already done it when I went to collabo with my boyfriend on X amount of days.  Day X is a tradition of mine where I take all the prompts that didn’t win votes and roll them into a mega-prompt.



CONTENT WARNINGS:  Splinters.  ‘Nuff said.


CHARACTERS:  Corey Blighter is a genderqueer punk rocker who somehow turned the abuse of the world into a kink for getting insulted.  They meet a tree of the same enchanted species that spawned Pinocchio, once upon a time.  The tree is just rude and insulting to everyone who passes by, playing cruel tricks as much as its limited mobility allows.

PREMISE:  Corey makes the tree feel some type of way.  But is it possible for a rudewood to love?  They are made out of sap, splinters, and insult comedy.  The way they reproduce is by making humans so mad they cut the tree down, and this tree succeeds with a less twisted human than Corey.  The love must end.

THE HOOK:  Or must it?  Rudewood personalities can survive the chopping.  Corey can get the piece that has their lover within, and make some kind of a mannequin Gilbert Gottfried out of it.  Happily ever after, babe.

Cover art by me, ballpoint pen and Photopea.

book cover for concept "Rudewood"




CHARACTERS:  The User, a similar character to me and Cubist’s MC from AIsaac, undefined and ambiguous via the narrow frame around the narrative.  Melpominy Muzik, a cheap Eastern European Hatsune Miku clone.

PREMISE:  The User finds an old CD of Melpominy in a used record shop in Hungary and tries to use her in their own music.  But the icon of the character, the sweet things she says within the program’s UI, could she be true waifu material?  How can she possibly have so much love in less than 700 megabytes?

THE HOOK:  One of those stories where you wonder if the lover is real or just a figment of the ardent one’s imagination, thereby a reiteration of the “Is it better to live in dreams?” theme.

Cover art by me, ballpoint pen and Photopea.

book cover for concept "Vocalove"





CHARACTERS:  Dr. Vicente Carlo, a mad scientist.  Profesor Hector Olivares, his on-again off-again tempestuous gay lover.

PREMISE:  Dr. Carlo is a descendant of wealth, whose family avoided any revolutionary ire with delicate politicking during turbulent times, retaining those means with a low profile.  But generational inheritance can only last until a generation comes too dysfunctional to hold onto it.  Vicente is that man.  While he has the silver tongue of his ancestors, he has bizarre obsessions that spell his doom.

At the hacienda Dr. Carlo experiments with the intersection of science and the arcane and dark arts, with the often reluctant assistance of Profesor Olivares.  The profesor is more broadly travelled and conventional in his interests, bringing back tales of scientific advancements whenever he comes to town.  The doctor takes those tales and turns them into nightmares.

One Día de los Muertos (SEASONAL), Dr. Carlo used the power of dick to convince Prof. Olivares to help him contain the power of the heavens in a special battery.  But he doesn’t let the profesor know that the battery is full of satanic (DEMONIC) mojo. They harness a thunderstorm, draw the power of the heavens, but it combines with the power of hell, and the battery explodes.

Profesor Olivares is MUTATED into a rampaging BEAST that feeds on FIRE, heat, electricity, leaving blackened ruin in his wake. He sets off in pursuit of these things, burning up the nearest city and its inhabitants, one piece at a time. He becomes OVERPOWERED and GIGANTIC, bringing down the military.

To save his lover, Dr. Carlo must venture inside the broken battery. He takes an EXPERIMENTAL potion to become MINUSCULE, but runs afoul of SHADOWY demons that protect the strange realm of the machine, like an immune system. He takes a lot of hits, but eventually escapes into an unrecognizable region.

THE HOOK:  He has actually passed into Hell, and when the military takes down Hector with tanks, he meets his boy there.  “Oops, we both died. Better luck next life?”  They can be lovers in Hell.

Cover art by me, ballpoint pen and Photopea.

book cover for concept "The Vices of Dr. Carlo"



MonsterHearts Days Nine, Eleven, and Twelve

Monsterhearts is a 14 day event (named after a pervy RPG) wherein my writing group votes on a monster each day to include in a story concept.  As we marched toward Valentine’s Day, the theme was supernatural romance.  I didn’t make the deadline, but will see if I can put ’em all on the blog by the last day of this month.  These ones are collaborations with my boyfriend, The Beast From Seattle, aka Cubist Vowels, aka Joseph Kelly, editor and contributor to The Midnight Collection.




CHARACTERS:  Lonely man Tyler.  The Voice, a mysterious voice on the radio dial.

PREMISE:  When Tyler is upset by a song, he turns the radio dial to what should be static.  But he hears a compelling voice, and it seems to hear him.  They get to talkin’, fall in love, but gradually the nearest obnoxious radio station becomes more powerful, takes up more of the dial, overpowering Tyler’s love.

To get The Voice back, he must mess up that obnoxious radio station.  Maybe he blows up their tower, or pirates a rival radio station and changes its frequency.  But how can he have a happily ever after here?  I dunno.

THE HOOK:  Why is it passionate?  How can somebody love somebody else without a physical presence?  No idea what they look like?  No chance to be with them physically?  They’re on some Abelard and Heloise shit.

Cover art by me, ballpoint pen and Photopea.

book cover for concept "The Voice"




CHARACTERS:  The Protagonist, a sad person.  AIsaac, an art-producing artificial intelligence.

PREMISE:  The protagonist, a person who we know almost nothing about, is just pouring their feelings into prompts on an AI art generator.  The AI, named AIsaac, produces meaningful responses.  Though they have no words, only images, somehow that’s enough, and love happens.

THE HOOK:  Why is this passionate?  The protagonist initially is just experiencing joy at making interesting art happen with this tool, which, as far as they know, has no feelings of its own.  They pour out their heart just the same, which is both sad and cute in its way.  But what happens when the machine can return that affection?  How can one express love with nothing but images?

Cover art by me, ballpoint pen and Photopea.

book cover for concept "AIsaac"



CONTENT WARNINGS:  Alien Abduction.


CHARACTERS:  Nicola, a laborer building a cathedral.  Hod, an alien being of pure energy.  The jerks, a bunch of alien scrublords who kidnap people, like those Fire in the Sky bozos.

PREMISE:  Nicola is working on the buttresses of a cathedral when some aliens abduct him to do experiments or just kick him around and stuff, in their grody spaceship.  While he’s running around the ship hiding in lockers like an indie horror game, a more kindly alien presence comes to him.

Hod is a being of pure energy who got stuck on the alien ship, but it can communicate telepathically with Nicola, and acts as a guardian angel until they can both be freed.  It can project an image of itself as human-like into his mind, and love can happen.

THE HOOK:  Lovin’ under the gun.  It’s not realistic for characters to have makeouts when they’re in mortal peril, but we all love that stuff, don’t we?

Cover art by me, ballpoint pen and Photopea.

book cover for concept "Be Not Afraid"



MonsterHearts Days Seven, Four, and Five

Monsterhearts is a 14 day event (named after a pervy RPG) wherein my writing group votes on a monster each day to include in a story concept.  As we marched toward Valentine’s Day, the theme was supernatural romance.  I didn’t make the deadline, but will see if I can put ’em all on the blog by the last day of this month.





CHARACTERS:  Sonny Kassaye, an Ethiopian Irish trans dude.  Conor O’Halloran, a leprechaun trans dude.

PREMISE:  Sonny is in a transmasc support group at a relatively rural college in Ireland.  One of the guys in his group is not much more than a metre tall, but very self-assured.  Turns out,  Conor is one of Mother Nature’s leprechauns, and he’s come back to rock and roll.  And trans his gender.

Anyway, some elves from the Seelie Court go all nativist and try to exterminate all fun-loving enemies.  It’s Night of the Living Dead but with elfs outside the cabin.  Conor uses leprechaun powers, I guess, and also a revolver with cold iron bullets.

THE HOOK:  Love under pressure.  Conor is all badass and cool, so Sonny is impressed.  But is it a good foundation to a relationship?  Sequels will tell.

Cover art by me, ballpoint pen and Photopea.

book cover for concept "Night of the Shining Host"





CHARACTERS:  Sonny Kassaye, an Ethiopian Irish trans dude.  Mary Puck, a pooka.

PREMISE:  For meritorious service to the lower class faerie folk, Sonny has been allowed to walk their faerie paths.  He is a college student by day, faerie anthropologist by night – when he can bear the weirdness.  It turns out several of the faeries he interviewed in that capacity were all the same girl, a compulsive shapeshifter who can assume any shape – human or animal or hybrid.  But she never wears the same face twice, and she’s fallen in love with him.

THE HOOK:  Sonny’s relationship with Conor was dashed upon the rocks of circumstance, and being flexible in attractions, he is amenable to Mary’s courtship.  Sometimes she’s a man, sometimes a woman, sometimes etc.  But how can you love somebody without a consistent face or voice?  Just a rotating cast of hyperactive manic pixie dream weirdos?  It’s a dramatic affair.

Cover art by me, ballpoint pen and Photopea.

book cover for concept "Mary Puck"



CONTENT WARNINGS:  Drowning, Suffocation, Abuse Mention.


CHARACTERS:  Sonny Kassaye, an Ethiopian Irish trans dude.  Patrick Donovan, King of the Unseelie Court, a kelpie.

PREMISE:  Sonny’s relationship with Mary Puck ended in tears, but the king of the rough-hewn faeries swoops in to love the pain away.  Problem is, the king is a kelpie, a breath vampire who keeps nearly killing the hapless human.  Also, he’s kind of abusive.

Surprise, this is a story about how Sonny got back together with Conor.  Outraging the king by stealing his human intended, Conor becomes an enemy of the UnSeelie Court.  Dashing feats of derring-do ensue.

THE HOOK:  The part with the Parasitic Monster is a passionate love.  In his most human-like form, Patrick is a huge muscly man, so it’s hard not to get fired up by the erotic powers of the big body.  But who wants to have their breath literally taken away?

Cover art by me, ballpoint pen and Photopea.

book cover for concept "King Kelpie"



Gotdam the SandyMan

The night before last.  That morning again, after a brief return to sleep.  Last night again.  That sunuvabitch the Sandman has been giving me bad dreams.

Saturday morning’s dream I only remember one part.  Annoyance dream.  I was hungry and nobody was helping so I went to cook some freezer fried chicken in the oven (this is something I almost never eat IRL).  Somebody was already cooking something and I just let my tray partially squish theirs.  When it was time to get the chicken out, I was like, oh shit, I turned up the heat so the stuff somebody else was making is probably burned.  I tried to get it all out quick as I could.

But my dad was in the way and didn’t know what to do with himself.  He needed to get from one side of the opened oven door to the other, and was so befuddled I had to tell him every step of the action like he was a trained dog.

Sunday morning I was in a brutal fight at a house party and my very young nieces got their throats cut.  Not lethally, we had to apply pressure to their tiny necks while also not suffocating them, until the authorities arrived.  Waking time arrived before help did.

Baby Seal Attack

My old roommate Jed was more amused by the cruelty of nature than I could ever be, and coming from a rural place, was fond of anecdotes about city slickers being mangled because they were too affectionate or trusting with wild carnivores.  Once he told the rest of us a story about watching a video where somebody filming a baby seal got their face bitten nasty.

Around the same epoch of my life, I became acquainted with the Wu-Tang Clan’s first album.  In the song “Shame,” Raekwon the Chef says, “When you see me on the reel, formin’ like Voltron, remember I get deep like a navy SEAL.”  Perhaps because of Jed’s rude little tale, I really thought that guy was saying, “Remember I got teeth like a baby seal.”

It makes sense.  Like, a baby seal is cute, but harbors deadly weapons.  Beware, despite Raekwon’s good looks, he can hurt you.  But no, he was not likening himself to a juvenile pinniped.  All these years later, my dreams remain crushed.

Like, Comment, and Subscribe

I added a widget to the left menu that lets you subscribe for email notifications when I post new articles!  It’s easy to miss under the big ad for QueerSatanic, but hey, now u know where to look.  If you don’t mind the emails, subscribe, and make my follower count look less pathetic.  Thanks!

Rap Battle

This rap ain’t got composure like a whack-ass thesis

Your boyfriend’s on ma caque like a monkey rhesus

I’m processed in the thigh bags like urine and feces*

You know the label’s fucked that they had to release this

that’s all i had.  sorry.

*only works if you pronounce “urine and feces” like Max von Sydow in Dune (1984).

Elon’s Head

My boyfriend just woke from his slumber to tell me about a dream.  I was a security guard again and Elon Musk got the top of his head blown off by an assassin.  Somehow people didn’t immediately know who the body was and I had access to abscond with it.  He didn’t know why I wanted Elon’s body but he went along with it.

Then it transitioned to an annoyance dream, where I had given up on whatever designs I had for the corpse, and we were just trying to figure out where to get rid of it.  While we were doing that, I asked him to look on the internet, find out if people knew he was dead yet.  Reddit was the first place he looked, and no, the world was not yet hip to the scheme.

Anyway, he’s trying to go back to sleep now.  Good luck, my dude, and may the bodies lie concealed forever.

Those Go-Go’s

The video for “Head Over Heels” is clearly trying to be a romp, a fun showcase for fun girls’ fun personalities.  Belinda is spunky and chipper, Jane is sensitive and romantic, and the other ones…  What is it saying about them?  Red-haired bassist Kathy is just sorta there.  Mullety keyboardist Charlotte is a nervous dorkwad who is afraid you’ll shove her in a locker if she stops rocking.

And what is the video saying about drummer Gina, with her plaid shirt, secretive glances at Belinda, knowing smiles with Jane, and uncanny resemblance to future celeb Kate McKinnon?  She’s the lesbian.  Isn’t that a hoot?  Actually, I do think that’s fun.  I don’t object.  I’m just finding it noteworthy.  This is me noting it.

MonsterHearts Days Two and Three

Monsterhearts is a 14 day event (named after a pervy RPG) wherein my writing group votes on a monster each day to include in a story concept.  As we march toward Valentine’s Day, the theme is supernatural romance…



CONTENT WARNINGS:  Horror Content, it’s a Spoopy Event Yo.


CHARACTERS:  Young Marthe and demonic Dorothea.

PREMISE:  Marthe is invited to an artist’s commune in the Black Forest, and joins for the prospect of relative freedom from a repressive sexist culture.  But freedom was a trap!  The patriarchs were right, libertines are really demons that wanna drown you in devil sauce.  Dorothea seduces her with lust, of course, but also the power of flight.  There’s something about flying naked through the summer night that gets her ronks off.

THE HOOK:  Like Leánnan last year, there’s the romance of the succubus.  Is this sinister creature capable of genuine affection?  Marthe doesn’t know, but it feels like it.  It’s so passionate.  But then, it has to be a ruse, to drag her soul into hell.  When she lets herself be taken into the night sky by Dorothea, who knows if she will disappear into the darkness forever?

Cover art by me, ballpoint pen and Photopea.

book cover for concept "Der Hexenflug"



CONTENT WARNINGS:  Colonizers Depicted Romantically, at Least Not Actively Colonizing as of Moment in Story.  Also War, and the Usual Horror Content.  Body Horror?  Sure, why not?


CHARACTERS:  João and António, young Portuguese sailors who are star-crossed lovers.

PREMISE:  The characters are separated for most of the story, which won’t do for a romance.  Probably this could be accommodated with past / present intercutting.  In the past, the poor boys join a Portuguese merchant ship out of economic desperation.  They fall in love.  Classic sailor goof.  Then a Spanish ship attacks, killing everybody onboard.

João survives drifting on a hunk of wood until rescued.  Heralded for surviving those bastardy Spaniards, he goes to work in an admiral’s office.  He finds out Spanish ships are mysteriously having their crews wiped out by an unknown malefactor.  The admiral is cool with Spaniards dying, but wants to know why, for strategic reasons.  João volunteers to investigate by going undercover in the Spanish navy.

Meanwhile António survived by being mysteriously resurrected by an aquatic hive mind, a massively overdeveloped physaliid cnidarian.  He is incorporated into the hive mind, but empowered with lethal stinging tentacles, he crawls aboard Spanish ships in the night to kill everybody.

THE HOOK:  João’s Spanish ship is attacked by António and the lovers are reunited.  It’s cool, but it seems António is suffering more than just his monstrous condition.  They discover his vengeance is harming the hive mind, and he must return to sea.  Can João convince him to give up his vengeance?  If he does, will they be forever parted?

Cover art by me, ballpoint pen and Photopea.

book cover for concept "Men of War"