NT Sauce Lettin’ Me Down

I’m neurotypical. None of my problems rise to the level of disordered, none of my eccentricities are quite sufficient to merit recognition or special consideration. I only feel bad when anyone would feel bad, and within more or less acceptable standards for those circumstances.

So I should get a ton of shit done, right? Not necessarily. I suspect the most productive people are neurodiverse in various ways, producing at least one positive outcome for them at sometimes unfortunate costs. Most NTs like me watch that TV, hit refresh on the social media, miss a deadline now and again. Not enough to merit special notice, but enough to keep us from looking “Type A.”

Anyhow, over the last month I have been feeling even less productive than usual. I know what I have to do, it’s right in front of me, but I just don’t feel up to doing it. I hit refresh on the social media. I wait. Anything but what I’m supposed to do.

Again, totally neurotypical. Underemployed for a few years, economically dependent, donating plasma to pay what I can on bills? This is the accepted circumstance under which to experience one symptom of depression to a not necessarily clinical extent. But usually my NT powers let me be more productive than this. ‘Tis a nuisance.

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