Thinking Like Jim West

Without a bit of irony (it was subtle–I had to read quite a bit more of his blog to decide he was serious)…

Thinking Like an Atheist

30DEC

In three easy steps:

1-  Lump all Christians together into one massive Borg-ish collective.
2- When one or a tiny minority of the collective does something stupid- attribute that stupidity to all.
3- Mock the entirety of Christianity.

Like this chap has done-

So, if Christians were actually lame and unintelligent enough to adopt atheistic reasoning we could

1- Hear of some atheist or atheists who were child molesters.
2- Denounce all atheists as child molesters, since they all clearly share the same exact mentality.
3- And mock all of atheism.

Except Christians are too smart to act that way. It’s a shame that the ‘reason exalting’ atheists exemplified by the clearly angry atheist lad above in his feckless ‘tweet’ aren’t as smart.

On the other hand, it could have gone:
1- read one atheist’s twitter admonition to some Christians making threats of violence.
2- denounce all atheists as “Lump[ing] all Christians together into one massive Borg-ish collection”
3- and mock all of atheism.

Now, I know full well that not all Christians think that way.

But I know one who does.

For Greta (Happy Birthday!)

Now that I get to rub virtual elbows with her on a daily basis, it was nice to take a look back a few years to the time when a newbie cephalopod blogger was noticed by one of the movers and shakers. So now, on the occasion of half a century of moving and shaking (I hit that milestone earlier this year, so I know nothing moves or shakes like it used to), I give you (with minor alterations) a reprise of a post subtitled “Worshipping Greta Christina”… after the jump: [Read more…]

Barone Graphics And Design

Took me long enough. I finally had a bit of an epiphany; you see, my extremely cool banner is but one of a total of seven different designs that the good people at Barone Graphics And Design put together. I was going to have an alternating series of banners, like PZ did at ScienceBlogs, but that’s a low priority in the grand scheme of blog network things.

For now, though, I have updated my “banner” tab above, to show the other banners–take a look (click any of them to embiggen)! If you have a favorite, let me know. I have mine as well, but I won’t say just yet.

The Predictable Comment

What a pointless waste of money!
What a frightful waste of time!
This is lame, disgusting drivel
And it isn’t worth a dime!
What a waste of a reporter
When this clearly isn’t news!
Your priorities are foolish—
Give us something we can use!
This misguided bit of effort,
Lacking substance, style, or taste,
And my time it took to read it
Are an utter, total waste!
That’s ten minutes of my lifetime
That I’ll never, now, get back,
Spent deciphering the writing
Of a clueless, brainless hack!
All this focusing on nothing
When there’s suffering and pain—
What’s the point in what you’ve written?
How does anybody gain?
You should give your unearned paycheck
To a charity, this week,
So someone else can benefit
From something, when you speak.
Editorial discretion
Means the choice was yours to make
But your choices are deplorable
This time, for goodness’ sake!
You must have though it worthy—
I, of course, must disagree
And even brain-dead idiots
Would surely side with me!

My time is very valuable;
You’ve wasted it, you know.
Without a trace of irony
I write to tell you so.

(more, after the jump–) [Read more…]

‘Tis The Season

Two things. First, although I have not yet seen a full-blown apoplectic Fox News meltdown on it yet (perhaps I just missed it), little hints here and there tell us that the annual War On Christmas has begun. So without further ado, this year’s song:

In mega-malls and coffee shops
In giant chains and mom-and-pops
The mistletoe and holly have been decked
The garland—silver, red, and green
Has been in place since Halloween
In store displays we’ve all come to expect
Employees dressed as helpful elves
Are stringing lights and stocking shelves
And spraying trees with artificial snow
And everywhere, the carols play
There’s no place you can get away
Cos Christmas is endangered, don’t you know?

I’m gearing up for this year’s war on Christmas
It’s gonna be a knock-down, drag-out fight!
I’m pissed off and I’m ranty, cos
It’s two full months of santy claus
And all I really want’s a silent night

We see displays in family yards
And messages in greeting cards
Which use an anti-Christian sort of phrase
Though everywhere across the earth
They’re celebrating Jesus’ birth
They use the PC “Happy Holidays”
I’ve seen examples by the scores
In catalogs and online stores
As well as at some places here in town
As everybody celebrates,
Their choice of phrases demonstrates
Their real agenda’s tearing Christmas down!

I’m gearing up for this year’s war on Christmas
It’s gonna be the worst you’ve ever seen
A little bad behavior’s worth
The selling of our savior’s birth
And doing so since not quite Halloween

We’re gathering with friends, to go
Despite the cold, despite the snow,
Sing carols for the old folks down the street
Surrounded by the happy greetings,
Hugs and kisses, merry meetings,
Smiles on all the faces that we meet.
We’re celebrating life and love
And not some savior from above
Our Christmas is a secular affair
Cos Christmas is for everyone—
Believe, or not, it’s still just fun
And if that thought offends you, I don’t care

I’m gearing up for this year’s war on Christmas
The birthday of our savior Jesus Christ
And what the hell, if this myth fails
There’s always after-Christmas sales
Where underwear and liquor are half priced

Yes, there is a tune, no, I won’t be able to post it. Yes, it needs a little polishing still, but I don’t have time for that. Why, after the jump: [Read more…]

Atheism Poll

Did you lose your religion while walking to church
On a miserable, wintery day?
Did it fizzle out slowly, till one day you looked,
And your faith had all melted away?
Did it leave all at once, in an argument, maybe,
The reverse of the “road to Damascus”?
I suspect there are millions of stories to tell…
If only somebody would ask us.

No, not my own poll–Greta Christina is asking. But if you only get your own readers, you get a biased sample, of course, so spread the word–even amongst those who don’t generally read FtB. Yes, there are those who don’t read FtB.

Oh, Wow. Four Years.

I just noticed that yesterday marked the 4th anniversary of The Digital Cuttlefish going public (I had collected a few of the things I had posted on Pharyngula on the site privately, before figuring “what the hell?”)

I’m still a tiny little cuttlefish in a vast internet ocean, but I honestly never expected to last this long, let alone to have jumped to an actual blogging community. Many thanks to a number of people, including especially those readers whose generosity changed my world in the first year of this blog (you know who you are, and what you did, and I intend to be grateful until I quit breathing), to PZ for over 90% of my traffic, and especially to Kylie who told me to do it in the first place.

I forgot to get a cake, but I think I might have some leftover meatloaf I can stick a candle in.

Happy blog-day to me…
Happy blog-day to me…

(If I finish it, it’s copyright infringement, so to hell with that)