Navy Removes Bibles From Hotel Rooms. Armageddon Results.

A learned man was queried
Where almighty God was found:
“He’s everywhere, eternally—
To see Him, look around!
He cannot be delimited;
He’s every place we look—
Not merely in a church, or in
The pages of a book!”

But such a claim is silly
And it’s easily disproved:
Just watch hotels turn godless
When their bibles are removed!
Why, the absence of a bible
Leaves an atheistic room!
Then observe the learned Christians
As they prophesy our doom

“We have every right to read it!”
They reflexively will spit;
Though this right has not been challenged,
Nor been weakened—not one bit!
If the bible isn’t present,
In a drawer or on a shelf,
There is nothing that’s preventing you
From bringing one yourself!

You can bring your favorite version
There are tons from which to choose
From the stuffy King James Bible
To the seventies’ Good News
There are hundreds you can pick from
So you’ve got to like the odds;
And if bibles aren’t your favorite, then
There’s loads of other gods!

You could choose to read a novel
You could choose to watch TV
You could talk with one another
(Which sounds pretty good to me)
All your options are wide open,
Which I think this verse has shown
And you still can read your bible…
But you’ll have to bring your own

Sometimes it really pays to read the comments.

You may have heard; the U.S. Navy has agreed to remove the bibles from their hotel rooms, at the urging of the FFRF (Freedom From Religion Foundation), so that the Navy-run hotels do not give the impression of favoring Christians. So… with the removal of the bibles, Christians will be treated the same way members of any other religion are, and the same as atheists are. In other words, Satan wins, the seventh seal is broken, it’s the end of the world as we know it.

U.S. Navy Removes Bibles from All Hotel Rooms after Atheist Group Filed Complaint“, reads the headline at the Gospel Herald. Not quite sensationalist enough, so Charisma News went with “Navy Removes All Signs of Christ From Military Hotel Rooms“. Even better, though, would be to have someone to blame–and if you are The Patriot Post, you can’t blame that pesky constitution, so “Obama Admin Orders Bible Removal“.

But the headlines, entertaining as they are, can’t hold a candle to the comments. All of the classics–it’s a war on Christians, why can’t they just look the other way?, will we have to empty the libraries next?, and the old classic:

The empty room and empty night table is equally abhorrent. The absence of biblical texts means that the military supports the so called “religion” of no God. That’s more an abuse of the 1st Amendment then the former. Think about it.

Yes, think about it.

Someone has to.

Quasi-related: Look The Other Way
Look The Other Way, Redux
“An Invisible Statue Of Atheism”


  1. Matt G says

    That was Armageddon? I thought it was just your garden variety thunderstorm. Well, maybe there are a few more branches down than usual.

    They really don’t get it. When you come from a place of privilege, neutrality looks like persecution.

  2. Cuttlefish says

    I am so glad you commented, eamick–because I wanted to actually mention this word in the post itself, but forced myself not to! Prophecy, the verb, pronounced with “eye” as the last syllable, is exactly the correct word! It’s one of those that they don’t much teach any more (kids these days!), ever since that Bob Dylan punk used “prophecize” in “the times, they are a-changin'”. But look it up–I’m right, and you and mister Dylan are in good company, but wrong.

    Today’s lesson has been brought to you by the letter “Y”.

  3. eamick says

    I did look it up, though I didn’t really need to. Prophecy is a noun; prophesy is the verb.

  4. Cuttlefish says

    Goddammit! You are quite right, and I had even double-checked that to be sure. That settles it, I gotta stop drinking cough syrup outta mason jars…

  5. blf says

    I gotta stop drinking cough syrup outta mason jars

    Vintage malt or blended?
    The wrong one really is Armageddon.

  6. says

    Oh! And I don’t know where you did your up-looking, but ‘prophesize’ (earlier ‘prophecise’) is perfectly cromulent.
    The OED online gives citations since 1816 (Countess Granville), including The Times (1895) and a certain ‘B. Dylan’ (in inverted commas) for 1964.

  7. jnorris says

    Christian Persecution: Navy personnel have to carry their own Bibles when they travel. Oh the humanity!

  8. CatMat says

    “Our military service men and women have every right to look at literature in hotel rooms — including the Scriptures”

    Yes they do.
    Do they have the right to read the Quran? Yes.
    Do they have the right to read the Veda? Yes.
    Do they have the right to read the Bible? Yes.
    Do they have the right to read the Sutras? Yes.
    Do they have the right to read the whatever? Yes.

    Will they need to bring their own copy? Yes

    “This is a truest definition of a double standard.”

  9. Cuttlefish says


    This verse originally was going to list a whole load of possible holy books you could bring… that verse also had “you can bring a stack of Playboys” something something… but I ended up liking it better without it.

  10. Trebuchet says

    True fact: My great-grandfather was a founder of The Gideons and, according to his obiturary, made the motion at one of their first annual meetings that they take on a mission of putting Bibles in hotel rooms. The organization has no record of that, but who knows? He was a devout Methodist and probably wouldn’t have approved of the Book of Mormon to be found in hotels in Utah.

  11. zackoz says

    (Was it something like this?)

    So forget those bible verses,
    It’s true there’s just too many.
    You could view some good TV –
    If indeed there’s any.

    You can bring a stack of Playboys
    Just for the articles to con.
    Or…. for other quiet “enjoyment”.
    More fun than reading John!

  12. Al Dente says

    I gotta stop drinking cough syrup outta mason jars…

    Real men and women drink cough syrup out of 20 litre jerry cans.


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