Yeah, But Fundamentalist Atheists Are Just As Bad!

The fundamental atheist—the fire-breathing kind—
Is as radical an entity as any that you’ll find.
He or she’s the mirror image of the faithful they despise
Though they’ll claim they’re vastly different—just another of their lies

An example of the power of the god-belief they lack?
Though we changed the pledge to put in God, they want to change it back!
We put God on all our money, but they want it taken off!
And they never say “God bless you” on the chance you sneeze or cough.

They complain about religion, which itself is quite a shame,
But they never see, their own demands are really just the same!
When we pledge “one nation, under God”, and they refuse to stand
It’s the same as forced compliance, under law, across the land

It’s a crystal-clear agenda, and it’s radical and brash
Like the lunatics who spend their time de-Godding all their cash
Fixing money in a workshop, twenty quarters at a stint
Is the same as printing millions with the power of the mint

You can see, they’re all extremists—fundamentalists, in fact—
Driven solely by beliefs they held, or those they claim they lacked;
But you never will convince them all (and Lord God knows I’ve tried)
That the atheists and faithful are the same on either side!

Over on NPR’s Cosmos and Culture blog, Adam Frank writes about Religion, Science, and Easy Answers (although, strangely enough, the URL says “religion-science-and-no-easy-answers”, and the headline bar says “Religion, Science And Magic Fairy Cellphones”; I guess there was some toying around with different possibilities). Immediately, in the comments, came the predictions, and realities, of what commenters would say.

So today’s verse comes courtesy of those who see atheists as just as extreme as fundamentalists. Even the small percentage of us who actually do cross out “God” in our money’s “In God We Trust” (as I’ve said before, I sometimes go a bit further and use my engraver to remove God from my coins as well) could not possibly be the equivalent of a the system that imposed that God on an entire population. Refusing to say the pledge cannot possibly the equivalent of requiring the nation’s schoolchildren to recite it. If the act of removing God from something is seen as radical, surely (equal and opposite, and all that) the act of putting God there in the first place must be seen as radical as well, and on a far grander scale.


  1. Randomfactor says

    And in the end, the arguments are really both the same
    As shown by their ultima ratio, the TRUE end-game
    The Bible-bearing legions will all damn their foes to hell
    While the godless say their enemies will be sent…oh, wait…oh, well.

  2. says

    I got into combox battle with a Catholic priest blogger, just last week, who had written that atheists were sub-human (later corrected to a sub-species of humans) by lacking an ability for “spiritual” understanding (undefined). It takes quite a bit of work to get them to understand that you are not taking a position against something you don’t believe in, and that they are simply responsible to present evidence for the existence of something they want you to accept as true. So little, but so difficult.

  3. says

    Delightful verse!

    The old you’re just as bad retort. *sigh*

    If it weren’t so tiresome, it would almost be quaint. It’s rather like defending yourself with the proud claim, “You stink just as much as I do!”

  4. sailor1031 says

    “…Catholic priest blogger, just last week, who had written that atheists were sub-human…”

    This is just mindless parroting of the party line. As I recall the pope used a similar epithet (“not fully human”) in a speech in Scotland during his UK visit. The same bullshit exactly was served up by that well know oaf Cardinal Cormac-O’Connor shortly before he was shunted off to Rome…..

    I guess not being so susceptible to groundless bullshit means we lack some essential human quality (of susceptibility to believing groundless bullshit, as does this lame-brained priest)……once again just feel that catholic love!!

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