I Thought I Saw An Atheist

P-Zed reports that The Atheists Are Coming!

I thought I saw an atheist, once, walking down the street.
I checked for horns, I checked for tail, I checked for cloven feet;
Began to tremble frightfully—my heart was in my throat—
Then sighed in happy recognition, for ‘twas but a goat.

I thought I saw an atheist, down near a swollen stream
With scaly skin, and blood so cold, I couldn’t breathe to scream!
I looked into his bulging eyes, and prayed “God, grant my wish”
Then laughed in my embarrassment—it only was a fish.

I thought I saw an atheist, with fur and pointed claws,
And wicked teeth for chewing up Judeo-Christian laws,
I ran, and tripped, and fell to earth, then hid behind a log—
It caught me, though, and licked my face—of course, it was a dog.

I thought I saw an atheist, though cleverly disguised
Not giant and reptilian, but human, normal sized,
It looked to be engaging in productive, useful labor;
But no, this was no atheist—this person was my neighbor!

I thought I saw an atheist; in fact, I saw a few!
My neighbor, and the grocer, and the cop, and maybe you!
I even found some in the church, right there beneath the steeple;
It turns out, to my great surprise… that atheists are people.


  1. says

    Thank you, all of you.Naoki, there are few comparisons I would be less flattered by!Nice, r n b — As you might guess, given your verse, I call him whichever rhymes. Most times.jakk and darren–welcome!bmcwc… I have a really spectacular muse.

  2. says

    Wonderful. I would guess, rather Lewis Carrol than Shel Silverstein:”I thought I saw a banker’s clerkDescending from a busI looked again, and saw it wasA hippopotamus”

  3. says

    Thanks, Mathew and Zilch…Makita, you say that like it’s a bad thing! Thanks for the link! That’s why I post them, after all…

  4. says

    Normally I have a fair bit of disdain for poetry but, “I thought I Saw An Atheist” is excellent. I will no doubt show it to my friends.

  5. says

    I am the author. Unless explicitly stated, every bit of this doggerel is mine. And yes, you have my permission.©2008, The Digital CuttlefishAnd the blog URL, if you can. If you pay for contributions, email me and we can talk.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *