Guest post: Signed, confused

Originally a comment by screechymonkey on But it’s terribly important to understand.

Who asked him? What makes him think it needs to be said? Who asked him to pronounce on which abuses of women are worse than other abuses of women?

He’s just trying to be helpful! He’s gearing up to start writing a regular advice column. It’ll be a big success:

Dear Richard Dawkins,
I’m currently unemployed, but have just received two job offers. One of them is in a predominantly Muslim country, and one of the job requirements is having my clitoris cut off. The other job is here in the U.K. and has no such requirement, but the boss is a bit handsy. I can’t decide which job to take — any advice?

Dear Confused,
Sexual harassment is bad, but female genital mutilation is worse. Take the local job.

Dear Richard Dawkins,
My left pinky finger has become gangrenous and the doctors say if it isn’t amputated, the infection will spread and I will die. What should I do?
Dear Indecisive,
Losing any finger — even a pinky finger on your non-dominant hand — is terrible. But dying is worse. Get the amputation.

Or maybe we can skip the advice column stage and just have John Prine re-work his song “Dear Abby”:
Dear Dawkins, Dear Dawkins, I just can’t decide,
Should I cut off my finger, or commit suicide?
Both things are bad, so how can I choose?
Please give me your logic, I’ve nothing to lose.
Signed, Indecisive


  1. chigau (違う) says

    Dear Richard Dawkins,
    I plan to bring some honey home.
    Should I pack it in my checked-bag or bring it as carry-on?
    Sweet Tooth
    I’m not an ImportantPerson.

  2. screechymonkey says

    Dear chigau,
    I passed your letter along to one of my Thought Colleagues, Michael. He advised me to tell you that “whenever you plan to ‘bring some honey home,’ it’s important to have plenty of alcohol on hand.” Of course, I have no idea what he could possibly mean by this, but as he is a fellow Thought Leader, I am sure it must be good advice.
    — Richard Dawkins

  3. screechymonkey says

    Tabby, the problem with that is that my thoughts tend to run in circles….

  4. Phillip Hallam-Baker says

    Dawkins posts are like watching Top Gear, there is something strangely irresistible about watching a sexist idiot make a complete ass of himself. I keep trying to ignore them both but…

    I have been having to explain a similar point to the Republican relative who is might angry that Liberals don’t seem at all interested in taking the well meaning advice from Republicans about what causes they should be worried about and in what order. The fact that regurgitating lies and half truths from the wingnut media does not convince is entirely lost on them…

    For some reason they are very upset about the reaction to the Indiana bigots bill. Why aren’t we protesting all RFRAs (many of us are), wasn’t the original RFRA introduced by Kerry (yes, but that was a narrow bill intended to do nothing more than reverse some judicial activism by Scalia), aren’t we idiots for choosing a fight we are winning (no), etc.

  5. Anne Marie says

    A while back, I was consoling a woman who came into my work and started crying because she was totally overwhelmed by her newfound poor health and homelessness. She was living in a shelter and terrified to be there. I called an employee who works in a department that I thought could help the woman out. The employee came down and told the woman that there were people homeless on the street who would love to have her spot in the shelter. I was shocked. Once the employee left, I told the woman that her situation was really awful and she had every right to be upset and that I would do everything I could to make things a little easier for her. I told her that there was a lot of room for things to improve for her and gave her my direct work number for any help she might need in the future and she left a little happier.

    Dawkins constantly acts like that employee. He doesn’t want to add anything to the discussion; he wants to make people feel bad for being upset when shitty things happen to them.

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