This brand spanking new software

Originally a comment by Crimson Clupeidae on Quick to sneer.

Not to worry, we here at Islamo-Judeo-Xian software, Inc, LLC, GAWD, are working on an automated version of photoshop (we’re calling it Photochop, to avoid copyright issues).

This brand spanking new software will automagically edit all images in digital form (the retroactive paper version is pending tests of the new high powered laser satellite….) to not only edit out women, pigs, prophets, dogs, etc, that may offend any religious sensibilities*, but it will autodetect blogs, words, and even recipes written by women, pigs, prophets, dogs, etc. and make them appear to be written by manly burly manly men!

Our next release will offer an optional Hindu add-on package, but there is currently strong lobbying by a conflicting group of religious nutters….I mean, believers….who worship Saint Ronald of McDonald, and we are having some issues getting the software to comply with both.

*Sensibilities in this case, being those who make the loudest and most believable threats of violence, although offering more $$$ would potentially win out…..


  1. Crimson Clupeidae says

    Just be glad it’s still in alpha phase testing, or it wouldn’t even show up here!!

    …or something.

    Glad you found it amusing. 🙂

  2. says

    Don’t forget the pastafarians. I am sure any meatball unaccompanied by a generous helping of spaghetti noodles is deeply offensive to orthodox pastafarians. Ignore them at your peril!

  3. Crimson Clupeidae says

    Bwahahahaaaa. Pierce, I see what you did there.

    And Pastafarians don’t really have the numbers or $$$$ yet to really be a player. Although, we need to figure out the marketing angle for $cientology!

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