So everything good is evil, it seems.
Orange Church of God announces on the advertising board thingy (what do you call those things, anyway?):
SURFERS, SKATEBOARDERS, MUSICIANS, ARTISTS, VEGETARIANS, OCCUPIERS, ACTIVISTS, ADDICTS AND FORNICATORS ARE ALL GOING TO HELL!
REPENT NOW!
Seriously? Surfboarders? Skateboarders? Musicians, artists, vegetarians, activists? Going to hell? Why?
Maybe the Orange Church of God is actually just someone’s living room, and that’s a list of someone’s pet peeves. (But even then – surfing?? Why on earth? It’s so obviously fun, and it’s pretty to watch, and it doesn’t hurt anything. It doesn’t mess up anyone’s living room.)
I thought of a business card…
ORANGE
AGENT OF GOD
Oh hai Agent Orange!
*I’ll get me coat. Kthxbai.
According to this post, that sign’s a fake.
It’s not a real sign: http://www.says-it.com/churchsigns/sign07.php
Evidently, this particular version has been around for a while, too… this post discussing it is dated 2012 – http://www.riversideandbeyond.com/orange-church-of-god-sign/
It brought back some memories, though. Years ago, the hubby and I lived in Sacramento, CA – not far from the “Capitol Christian Center” (we used to call it “The Capitalist Christian Center”). I can recall driving past marquees not unlike this, lol.
Aaargh… that should have been spelled “Capital Christian Center.” My bad.
I wonder if walking is okay? Assuming your stride is small and constrained?
Oops, it’s a fake. Did I check it before posting? No.
Naughty stool for me.
Thank goodness. Once, in my misspent adulthood, I spent several minutes on a skateboard. It was my kid’s skateboard and I shamelessly let her give me lessons on navigating the thing. I’ve been terrified that this youthful transgression might cause repercussions. But since Ophelia assures us that the sign is a fake, I can sleep easily tonight.
I thought my mother had taken over this church. Seriously, that’s her list (well, only about 1/10 of 1 percent of her list) of who’s going to hell. Strangely, none of the people going to hell are doing the things she likes to do. So although the sign is a fake, it might as well be real.
If you’re looking for genuine WTF church signs, progressive Xtian blogger Christian Piatt has a (lengthy) series here: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/christianpiatt/2012/08/church-sign-epic-fails-wtf-edition/
Ooh! So glad it’s fake. According to that sign I’m going to Hell several times for being a singing, skateboarding, fornicating artist and occasional vegetarian.
(How many times can a person go to Hell?)
[meta + OT]
lakitha @10:
I think you have misread the sign.
@ 6 Ophelia Benson
Then there’s a certain irony in the juxtaposition of this post with the previous one.

No pumpkin hurlers? I feel left out. Maybe someone will do a church sign generator image for me!
Silentbob – I know. Hence naughty stool.
(They’re called reader boards.)