Pope says have children, dammit

RNS reports via the Washington Post

VATICAN CITY — Pope Francis on Monday (June 2) warned married couples against substituting cats and dogs for children — a move that he said leads to the “bitterness of loneliness” in old age.

Fraaaaaaaaaaaaaanciiiiiiiiiiiis – aren’t you forgetting something? You’re substituting a bunch of celibate priests for children, so who are you to tell other people to have children instead of dogs?!

Also, it’s none of your business. It wouldn’t be any of your business even if you had 18 children, which for all I know you do, given the funny ways of your funny church. It’s none of your business; your church doesn’t get to tell us what to do any more. Even Catholics don’t have to obey you; you can’t burn them for disobeying any more. You should mind your own business.

He was blessing some married couples in the Vatican chapel next to his bedsitter.

But he went a step further and strongly criticized those couples who choose not to have children, saying they had been influenced by a culture of “well-being” that says life is better without kids.

“You can go explore the world, go on holiday, you can have a villa in the countryside, you can be carefree,” the pope said.

“It might be better — more comfortable — to have a dog, two cats, and the love goes to the two cats and the dog. Is this true or not? Have you seen it?

“Then, in the end this marriage comes to old age in solitude, with the bitterness of loneliness.”

Or not, and also, having children is not automatically a hedge against loneliness or solitude in old age. Also, as I mentioned, you don’t (at least officially) have any yourself, and that’s the policy and indeed the rule of your horrible tyrannical church, so shut up.


  1. Shatterface says

    Pope Francis on Monday (June 2) warned married couples against substituting cats and dogs for children

    Well, I’m against dressing them up in paper hats and throwing them birthday parties.

    Cats and dogs, that is.

    Monkeys are different.

  2. Shatterface says

    Actually having cats and dogs places greater restrictions on travel.

    You can’t take them abroad because of quarantine restrictions, and unlike kids they won’t stay quiet if you hide them in your suitcase.

  3. Trebuchet says

    This would explain the many children he’s fathered with his wife. Oh wait, he hasn’t? He chose not to have them? How lonely he must be.

    We’re old and have two children. Furry children who poop in box. And make us very happy.

  4. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    Curiously, I spent last saturday sneaking into maternity wards with a picnic basket full of puppies and kittens and leaving with an armload of human babies – the maternity ward now secretly repopulated with my non-human accomplices!

    But, here’s the thing, I am not married. So I guess this is totes okay with the pope, right?

    Isn’t that why the pope had nuns and priests steal the babies in Australia and Ireland and Spain and Portugal and Italy? Just like the unmarrieds can’t do the boink, the marrieds can’t do the puppy-baby switch? Something about puppies being too pure to be touched by people who have sex or something?

  5. says

    Uh, there are many ways to avoid the bitterness of loneliness of old age:
    • continue having animal companions.
    • be social, have friends, join social groups, donate your time to community organizations
    • socialize online with people around the world…you can even Skype!

    All of that is after one realizes that many couples grow older…with each other. It’s possible to be in a loving relationship with the same person as you get older. Some people consider their spouses to be their best friend, which I’ve heard can combat loneliness.

    And of course not everyone has a problem with loneliness.

  6. Shatterface says

    I look forward to having a lonely and bitter old age to balance out my sociable and optimistic younger years.

    Balance is important.

  7. karmacat says

    I had a dream in which I gave birth to a litter of puppies. I liked that dream. To have children so you don’t want to be lonely in your old age, is a bad reason to have children. Children are supposed to go on with their lives and that might mean they will move away from their parents

  8. B Cazz says

    Seven billion.

    Seven freaking billion.

    I miss so much a world with billions less people and I weep that won’t have a lonely old age.

  9. sambarge says

    Catholics have to have more children. Priests can’t rape themselves, you know.

  10. iknklast says

    I chose to only have one; that makes me only slightly less evil (or selfish?) I suppose. But as a result I was able to give him more of my time and energy. Besides, if you get it right the first time, why do you need to have a second? (that’s what I told my son when he asked me why he couldn’t have a little sister).

  11. smrnda says

    In today’s world, having children is *not* so relevant to your old age loneliness. I live on 1 continent, my father lives on another continent, and my brother lives in another country on the same continent as my father, but far away. The old man is going to be relying on his *local community* when he’s older. Which would probably be the case if he were near either of us, since we’ll be *working* when he’s retired .

  12. says

    I congratulate and support all people, single married or whatever who take a look at themselves, their lives and decide NOT to have children. Because THEY are those who are best able to make that decision. Having children is a big decision and comes with a huge responsibility. People who think they they are not suited to be parents are probably right and they should not have children just to prove them right

  13. rq says

    I’ve been travelling alone with three children overseas. Definitely something I’d rather do alone.
    Just sayin’.
    I’m pretty sure I’m going to be lonely and bitter because I’ll be so fucking fed up with the enforced socialization.

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