Nation Throws Hands Up

Maybe the only fitting commentary comes from the Onion.

Nation Throws Hands Up, Tells Black Teenagers To Do Their Best Out There

WASHINGTON—Following Sunday’s not guilty verdict in the George Zimmerman trial, an exasperated and speechless nation could reportedly do nothing other than wish black teenagers good luck out there, saying that they’re definitely going to need it.

“Yeah, I don’t know what to tell you other than keep your wits about you and hope for the best,” Alexandria, VA resident Michael Klein advised the nation’s 10 million African-American youths. “Honestly, I’d recommend just staying inside after sundown if you can.”

“Try to stay safe, okay?” he added.

After neighborhood watch patrolman George Zimmerman was acquitted of all charges in a case where he admitted to shooting and killing unarmed 17-year-old Trayvon Martin, a frustrated U.S. populace said that maybe the only thing left for black teenagers to do is hope and pray for the best.

In addition, the citizenry said that it’s basically gotten to the point where African-American teens need to avoid walking alone, hanging out in groups, or even minding their own business, especially if they are planning to do any of those things in public.

Read on.


  1. Acolyte of Sagan says

    In addition, the citizenry said that it’s basically gotten to the point where African-American teens need to avoid walking alone, hanging out in groups, or even minding their own business, especially if they are planning to do any of those things in public.

    So, maybe official ‘Blacks Only’ and ‘No Coloreds’ areas? Or maybe each ‘decent white-folks’ household gets its own ‘House Black’?
    YES, I KNOW! But that’s how it’s starting to look from this side of the Atlantic, and the sort of statement that I quoted doesn’t help as it sounds like segregation-lite..
    For the love of the god none of believe in, please grow up, America, you really should be out of your crazy, mixed-up teens by now.

  2. says

    I can honestly say I am at a loss for words over this thing. Have been since the judgement.

    Y’know that bit in Contact where she just stutters ‘No words… Should have sent a poet?’

    I think it’s a bit like that. Only from bad, not beauty. So I guess it’s not so much the poet that’s needed…

    (/Come to think of it, The Onion will probably do nicely. Seeing as Swift is dead.)

  3. great1american1satan says

    Acolyte- You realize the thing you’re taking exception to is from a comedy article, right?

    And don’t front like European racism ain’t some shit too. Probably most of the blackface happening on TV these days is coming out of northern Europe. I bet the only reason you don’t have this shit happening is a lack of access to firearms in some areas and lack of black people in others.

  4. Acolyte of Sagan says

    great1etc. @#4, yes, I’m aware The Onion is a spoof, but is that line really any different to the truth at the moment? And yes, I am more than aware of the problems in Northern Europe, but that is mainly a reaction to current immigration during a continent-wide financial recession, and I don’t say that to mitigate it, merely to point out that unlike the situation in the States, generally it isn’t aimed at the countries’ own citizens.
    I have no idea what ‘most of the blackface’ means, so I can’t respond to that unless you’ll kindly explain it to me, but I will say that if you want to observe multi-culturalism in a place where it actually works, take a good look at Britain. Yes, we have the occasional incident but for the most part we all bumble along in peace and quiet.

  5. kevinalexander says

    I predict the next big iPhone app will be dashboard cams for kids only you wear them. This way there will be a record of every ‘Yassuh’ and ‘Nosuh’ or whatever else the murderer Christian standing his ground makes you say before he defends his freedom.
    He still won’t be convicted of anything but at least it increases the chance of his having to undergo the inconvenience of a trial.

  6. great1american1satan says

    Acolyte – “Blackface” is when white people have their faces painted black, for the purposes of “comedic” representation of black people. There are some recent examples in America, but mostly it’s been considered in extreme bad taste since the ’70s. And I keep randomly coming across examples of it from European comedy shows, on youtube and what not. Here’s a Slate article about this old bullshit, though not about Europe specifically:

    Meanwhile, I often hear of examples of racist incidents outside the USA that would be very unlikely to happen here, usually with the excuse of the rarity of black people given. “We didn’t know it would be offensive, blah blah.” The civil rights movement happened here and influences our behavior for the better (at least some of us). It seems like most of the world missed those messages.

    That’s not to say we’re not racist here, but it’s a different flavor from what you’d find elsewhere. And countries with fewer black people can look down their nose at this, but just find a black person there and ask them. Racism is a universal disgrace.

    Really, it’s silly of me to get defensive about America. But for other people to look down their nose is bound to rub a motherfucker the wrong way, and I’m that dumbass today.

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