Only in Indiana are Girl Scouts “radical”

Indiana was attempting to pass a resolution celebrating the 100th anniversary of the Girl Scouts. But State Rep. Bob Morris (R, of course) took issue with the resolution (emphasis mine):

State Rep. Bob Morris (R) wants to kill a resolution honoring the Girl Scouts because they are a “radicalized organization” that promotes “homosexual lifestyles” and funds Planned Parenthood.

In a letter to his fellow Republicans on Saturday, Morris said he would refuse to support a resolution celebrating 100 years of the organization because “after talking to some well-informed constituents, I did a small amount of web-based research, and what I found is disturbing.”

The letter, obtained by the Fort Wayne Journal-Gazette, says that the Girl Scouts of America and the World Association of Girl Guides “have entered into a close strategic affiliation with Planned Parenthood,” though “you will not find evidence of this on the GSA/WAGGGS website—in fact, the websites of these two organizations explicitly deny funding Planned Parenthood.”

“Nonetheless, abundant evidence proves that the agenda of Planned Parenthood includes sexualizing young girls through the Girl Scouts, which is quickly becoming a tactical arm of Planned Parenthood,” Morris wrote. “Planned Parenthood instructional series and pamphlets are part of the core curriculum at GSA training seminars.”

He continues that the Girl Scouts also let in boys “who decide to claim a ‘transgender’ or cross-dressing life-style” and, in general, promote being gay. “Many parents are abandoning the Girl Scouts because they promote homosexual lifestyles,” Morris said. “In fact, the Girl Scouts education seminar girls are directed to study the example of role models. Of the fifty role models listed, only three have a briefly-mentioned religious background – all the rest are feminists, lesbians, or Communists.”

Yes, all that cookie selling and camping is really a front for the Insidious Feminazi Agenda. I wasn’t a girl scout, so I had to go through elaborate rituals when I was older to prove that I was worthy. You should have seen the amount of women I had to turn into lesbians and all of those abortions I performed. So worth it.

On a high note, not all of Indiana representatives are totally bonkers. Morris was the only representative against the resolution. Obviously all of the other reps are easily bribed with Tagalongs (the best Girl Scout cookie by far).


  1. Steve says

    Yes. Not mentioning someone’s religious beliefs means they don’t have any. I swear, if breathing required conscious thought, fundamentalist Christians would instantly suffocate

  2. eric says

    Heretic! Everyone knows the ghey mind control drugs are in the thin mints, not the tagalongs. Tagalongs are good conservative cookies designed to fight teh ghey by reminding women of their natural role in society.

  3. Couldn't think of a decent nickname says

    Who wants to bet that his “small amount of web-based research” was watching the “Cookie Boycott” video on YouTube?

  4. kevinkirkpatrick says

    Reading articles like this leave me so excited to enroll my daughter (now 3) into Girl Scouts. I only wish there was such a character-building scouting organization available for my son (now 5).

  5. dobbinriddle says

    Wow! I didn’t even notice the radical agenda when my daughter was in Girl Scouts a couple of years ago. I was her leader, and I didn’t even notice that I was inculcating those girls into a commie/lesbian lifestyle. I have been bRaInwAshED!!11!!!!

  6. Bryan says

    I am absolutely appalled by this post. I used to think that you posted intelligent, insightful information. But now I find a post that claims that Tagalongs are better than Thin Mints. Talk about a heresy. I think a correction to your post is in order.

  7. theScreeble says

    You could check to see if there is a CamppfireUSA or EarthScouts group in your area. IIRC CampfireUSA is an entirely secular group and EarthScouts only has a bit of the “Mother Earth” type of spiritualism-lite stuff.

  8. theScreeble says

    Can’t believe I forgot the obvious one… CampQuest, even if it is pretty much only a summer camp.

  9. adamshelton says

    I do believe I may be out of touch! The only Girl Guide cookies I remember were this box that had a row of vanilla sandwich cookies and a row of chocolate (vanilla es #1). And more recently, the thin mint kind of cookie.

    But while I was looking up these cookies (thoroughly detailed on wikipedia), I stumbled upon the Brownie Promises for various countries. Canada is the only one that doesn’t mention God. Goooooo Canada! It mentions beliefs instead. The Beavers/Cubs aren’t so lucky.

  10. sambarge says

    The Girl Scouts have expanded their cookie selection to dizzying levels. Canada stays pure and true – chocolate and vanilla in the spring and mint at Christmas.

  11. sambarge says

    You know that saying: Come to the Dark Side. We have cookies.

    I always thought that was a Star Wars-based joke about the sweetness of the dark side. I had no idea that was actually the motto of Girl Scouts of USA.

  12. Janstince says

    HERETIC! Burn you all at the stake! It’s obviously the Do-si-dos/Peanut Butter Sandwiches.

    Although, I’ve never had a Tagalong. Probably too much in the chocolate area for my taste. Had a Do-si-do for the first time (apparently they don’t regularly sell them in Texas for some reason) a few weeks ago.

    But really, Thin Mints? How bourgeois heathen can you get ;)

  13. Utakata, pink pigtailed Gnome of death says

    “State Rep. Bob Morris (R) wants to kill a resolution honoring the Girl Scouts because they are a “radicalized organization” that promotes “homosexual lifestyles” and funds Planned Parenthood.”

    Great! Where do I sign up my kids?

  14. Barbara says

    It’s pretty clear to me that the “radical” in this situation is Bob Morris. And seriously, what does planned parenthood have to gain from sexualizing young women? I’m so happy I no longer live in Indiana and yet so sad that this kind of ignorance is going on anywhere in this country.

  15. John Horstman says

    But the Girl Scouts ARE a radical organization, and always have been. They’re dedicated to empowering young women and girls, which is a radical agenda in a culture that still frequently refuses to acknowledge the full humanity of female persons. They should be celebrating Girl Scouts BECAUSE they’re radical.

  16. Rasmus Odinga Gambolputty de von Ausfern....of Ulm says

    “after talking to some well-informed constituents, I did a small amount of web-based research, and what I found is disturbing.”

    Okay, now to run this through the nutter-to-english translatathingy…*prestozappo*…and we get

    “I drank myself into a stupor one night and was thinking about how much I hate women, and what I found was, boy do I hate women.”

    Also, Tagalongs, FTW!

  17. ImaginesABeach says

    Wait a minute. You mean there are actual training materials I could be using with my Girl Scout troop to convince them to be lesbians who have lots of abortions? Darn it, all this time I’ve been winging it.

    Clearly my local Girl Scout council has been falling down on its job by pushing all of this STEM and leadership stuff at us instead.

  18. Loqi says

    All along I thought they did arts, crafts, and games at Girl Scout sleepovers. I had no idea they have huge communist lesbian orgies and then perform abortions on each other!

  19. Decnavda says

    I normally oppose all caps & exclamation marks in a comment, but this calls for it:


  20. The Mad Dreamer says

    Tagalongs? Jen, I’m afraid you have no idea what you’re talking about.

    It’s Thin Mints. Always has been. Always will be. They’re even the inspiration behind my favorite alcoholic beverage – a little shot known as the Dirty Girl Scout. It is liquid delight.

    Anyway, when I have daughters I will be enrolling them in Girl Scouts for precisely the reasons Representative Morris seems to despise them. I will also not be enrolling any sons I might have in the Boy Scouts, which I am sure would result in me being labelled a bad parent and unAmerican by some types of people. Fortunately, those are the types of people whose disapproval tells me I am doing the right thing.

  21. says

    The combination of mint and chocolate is a chocolate-ruining abomination! Peanut butter and chocolate is the true delicious union.

  22. Tony B says

    Big surprise: this font of douchebaggery is Catholic. He’s basically our own private Rick Santorum.

  23. eigenperson says

    I told you there were deep rifts in the atheist community! I told you all, but you wouldn’t listen!


  24. Beth says

    I just looked up the girl scout cookie varieties to get the names right and there are like 6 types I didn’t even know existed. I need to go buy some more cookies.

    Samoas are definitely best. <3

    Also, this makes me sad because it is YET MORE Indiana fuckery. I'm starting seriously consider moving out of state if this nonsense continues. See also: Mike Pence is running for governor, and may win. There is not enough DDDD: to convey my feelings about that. D:

  25. says

    …so this guy doesn’t expect an organization about female empowerment to be feminist?

    I mean everything else about him is regulation terrible person, but that just made my mind boggle.

    Seriously, that’s like saying “Those religious figures? Guess what- they have religious beliefs. What’s even up with that?”

  26. michaelgalassi says

    Rats, I was liking you, really, I was glad we had the privilege of welcoming you to the left coast, but Tagalongs? Really? Are you certain they’re not calling you back to Indiana?

    JK of course, enjoy your time in the west, I hope it’s a long, happy, and fruitful segment of your life.

  27. Erp says

    As a side note, the Girl Scouts of the USA are celebrating their 100th anniversary this year and tomorrow, the 22nd, is ‘Thinking Day’ when Girl Scouts (and Guides) worldwide are suppose to think globally, to consider their sister Girl Guides and Girl Scouts in other countries.

  28. ohioobserver says

    Ahhh..Indiana. Have I said before that I no longer live there? And one may ask why. This is why.

    They’re all good. Never met a Girl Scout cookie I didn’t like.

  29. eigenperson says

    Turns out that big God-shaped hole inside of me is pretty convenient when I want a lot of reverb.

  30. says

    You’re all wrong. Sadly for those south of the border, you are denied the true best girl scout cookies:

    Girl guide cookies. Mmm. And they train the kids as good little capitalists, too.

    Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t have any change. Can you break a twenty?”
    Girl Guide: “If you bought five boxes, you wouldn’t need any change!”

    It was a clever argument, but my sense (and diet) prevailed.

  31. says

    No fair, the American Girl Guides get all the good cookies. The Canadian ones only get the plain chocolate and vanilla in the spring and the minty ones in the fall, or is that minty in the spring and chocolate and vanilla in the fall.

    Either way, you get all these nifty cookie choices that I don’t get. So not fair, I have money to give away to charity too (I buy a case of cookies during each promotion, that’s 24 boxes a year — and I’m diabetic!).

    Still, enjoy the cookies. Sister was a Guide, Mom was a Brownie troupe leader; I know they got a lot out of the experience and will speak of it fondly.

  32. says

    I think they changed the recipe when they changed the name. They aren’t as good as they used to be to my sensitive taste buds. But then, I’m in the Thin Mint camp, myself.

  33. Azkyroth says

    Only in Indiana are Girl Scouts “radical”

    I’m sure they encourage you to be mindful of your roots everywhere.


  34. Tenebras says

    I don’t know your religious beliefs or lack thereof, (being on FTB, I’m going to assume not religious) but as a former GS, the GS’s are a Christian organization. Although nowhere near as rabid as the Boy Scouts, and the level of religiosity in a troop varies greatly depending on who the leader is. (So check out the local troop first before you decide to join up, and realize that if your daughter stays with the Scouts she will have multiple troops and leaders as she changes age groups.) The worst I ever encountered was the non-denominational prayer said before meals when out camping… which was usually the Johnny Appleseed song, because what kid wouldn’t prefer to sing something fun and lighthearted over a stuffy, boring old prayer? :P And the Promise, where we pledged “To Serve God and Our Country”.

    It never bothered me at the time, since I was naively and nominally Christian in my childhood, and ignorant enough to think that “God” meant every religion’s God, but now as an educated atheist it does make me cringe a bit to remember it.

    There are more secular alternatives that others have mentioned above, and I would highly recommend checking them out.

  35. Catelyyn says

    There are two different companies who bake for the Girl Scouts and individual councils select which one they’ll get their cookies from. One company calls them samoas, the other calls them carmel delites. Trefoils = shortbread, tagalongs = peanut butter patties, do-si-dos = peanut butter sandwiches, if I’m remembering them all correctly.

  36. Blueaussi says

    ” Probably too much in the chocolate area […]”

    “Too much” and “Chocolate” in the same sentence?

    I..I, well, my brain,…I just can’t parse that sentence.

  37. Blueaussi says

    “The combination of mint and chocolate is a chocolate-ruining abomination! ”

    *horrified gasp!*

    You infidel, draggle-tailed hussy! Speak no more least His Icy Greatness, The Great and Hallowed York of Peppermint Pattiness smite you with his minty breath!

  38. Salmo says

    I am shocked by the lack of support Do-Si-Dos/Peanut Butter Sandwiches are getting. Shame on all y’all. They are far superior and soak up milk like it ain’t nobody’s business.

  39. LTFT says

    I really want to know who the 50 role models are. Don’t really have time to look and google search results are flooded with Morris’ letter.

  40. MaNonny says

    This guy’s problem with girl scouts confuses me. I went through girl scouts and HATED it because it was all about 1) selling cookies so we can HAVE MORE MONEY!!!!!1 (to fund what? we didn’t do anything) 2) sitting around a table at a CHURCH and talking about (? I don’t even remember). Our “adventuring” experience was when we walked around the adjacent park. I also remember baked goods at meetings. Clearly, it was a formative experience (/sarcasm). I wonder if it is different nowadays or in different regions.

    I was so pissed, because my brother was cis male he could learn USEFUL skills in boy scouts like tying knots and outdoor survival skills and how to build shit (not to mention camping trips and spelunking!!1 how awesome?). I wasn’t allowed to do these things because I was a girl. The closest I got was showing up to their award/family dinners and such. I felt very excluded. Damn vagina gets in the way every time. :(

    Isn’t overly gendering little girls into submissives that are good at making friends while subverting self-sufficiency exactly what some conservative republican would WANT in an organization?

  41. Eric RoM says

    i’m SO pleased that was a happy song, and not some horrifying example of why people flee Indiana. ::whew::

  42. TychaBrahe says

    He also sees it as a sign of corruption that Michelle Obama is the Honorary President of the USGSA.

    Lou Hoover was the President of USGSA back in 1925. When her husband became POTUS in 1929, she resigned her position, but was made Honorary President. (She resumed the office of President after her husband lost his re-election.)

    Since that time, every First Lady has been Honorary President of the USGSA.

    And Tenebras, the Girl Scouts are now a secular organization, and take into account a girl’s possible faith in more than one god (e.g., Hinduism), no gods (e.g., Buddhism), lack of faith entirely.

  43. Alex says

    “Obviously all of the other reps are easily bribed with Tagalongs (the best Girl Scout cookie by far).”

    I think you misspelled “trefoil.”

  44. interrobang says

    How come they need to perform abortions on each other after the lesbian orgies? I thought Lesbianism™ was about the one sure way to have sex and not get pregnant.*

    All I know for sure is, wa’n’t none of that going on at my Girl Guide camps. Bor-ing!

    * Only effective when used 100% of the time.

  45. Unbeliever says

    Thin Mints are both thin and minty. You cannot argue with this.

    Furthermore, they are the number one selling girl scout cookie, according to stats that I just made up in my head, based on something I’m SURE I heard somewhere, once.

    Thusly, it is a truism that the entire Girl Scout organization would have filed for bankruptcy ages ago, but for their minty goodness. [ibid]

    A little respect, please, for the greatest Girl Scout Cookies of all time… :)

  46. says

    As further proof that Indiana is not alone in this idiocy, I present:

    Girl Scout Troops Banned From Va. Church

    Several Girl Scout troops in Chantilly, Va., have been banned from meeting at a local Catholic church and a neighboring school.

    St. Timothy Catholic Church said that scouts won’t be allowed to meet or wear their uniforms on church property. The edict also applies to the adjacent St. Timothy School, which enrolls students from preschool to eighth grade.

    According to the Arlington Diocese, the pastor did not believe the National Girl Scouts membership to the World Association of Girl Guides & Girl Scouts aligned with the message of the church, stemming from a perceived connection between WAGGGS and Planned Parenthood.

    The Girl Scout Council of the Nation’s Capital said its parent/national organization is not WAGGGS, but instead Girl Scouts of the USA, which does not have a relationship with Planned Parenthood.

  47. Erp says

    It all depends on the leaders. The GS troop I was in went spelunking, camping, backpacking, canoeing, to England and to Washington, DC.

  48. Erp says

    Actually Lou Henry Hoover was not the first first lady who was honorary president of the Girl Scouts (that was Edith Wilson whom she persuaded to take the position in 1917). Nor did she step down as the real president upon becoming first lady though she did step down as the chairman of the Board of Directors and as vice-president. She had been president from 1922-25 and was again in 1935-1937. It was under her second presidency that nationwide sales of Girl Scout cookies first took place.

  49. Timberwoof says

    In Germany, Hitler considered the Pfadfinder (Pathfinders, the German Boy Scouts) radical. When the Nazis disbanded the various organizations, many of them burned down their own campsites to prevent the Nazis using them.

    Congratulations, Bob Morris. You’re in good company.

  50. nemothederv says

    though “you will not find evidence of this on the GSA/WAGGGS website—in fact, the websites of these two organizations explicitly deny funding Planned Parenthood.”

    Don’t believe what they say! They’re Liars!! Believe me because I searched the intertubes. No, there’s no need to tell you where. Just trust me…..and not them.

    You know what the difference is between Bob Morris and a conspiracy nut?
    Legislative Power.

  51. nemothederv says

    This is on the website of the org Bob Morris has condemned his two daughters to.

    I noticed that the one black girl is in a seperate photo from all the white blonde ones.
    Does this imply anything to you or am I seeing stuff that isn’t there?

  52. d cwilson says

    So, the Girl Scouts encourage girls to become lesbians and have abortions.

    Aren’t those goals contradictory?

  53. says

    Yeah. I’m pretty sure it was that snowflake I crocheted in 5th grade Girl Scouts that made me into an atheist feminist communist Muslim. I have yet to manifest the Lesbianism, but I imagine it won’t be long.

  54. says

    From my friend Ann’s blog (

    I thought my biggest Girl Scout obstacles this month would be counting change, keeping up with the cookie inventory in my garage, and finding good booth locations. Now, Indiana State Representative Bob Morris decided to add to my plate. According to his letter to lawmakers, the Girl Scouts are a radicalized organization that promotes the homosexual lifestyle, sexualizes young girls, encourages abortion, and is a tactical arm of Planned Parenthood. Morris believes that all Girl Scout role models are feminists, lesbians, or Communists.
    Wah? How have I been involved in Girl Scouts since I was in first grade and never known this? Have I been living under a rock? And all this time I thought those camping trips were for fun, for girls gaining independence, and for bonding with friends. I guess I have been completely brainwashed by the Girl Scouts’ radical agenda, and I didn’t even realize it.
    Well, heck. I try to be a good role model to the girls as cookie mom. While at booths, I teach them how to count change properly while handing out pro-choice pamphlets with the change. While going door-to-door selling cookies, I encourage good manners, looking people in the eye, and always saying thank you, especially to the homosexuals who buy cookies. I guess that makes me a feminist, lesbian, or Communist. Decisions, decisions! I’m fairly confident I’m not a lesbian. I suppose I could be called a feminist, but that sounds kind of boring compared to the other two. I think I shall be a Communist! Yes… a Communist I shall be. I will sell cookies while wearing my rainbow stripe t-shirt with “pro-choice” on the front and a hammer and sickle on the back. That’s the Girl Scout way.
    Anyone want to buy some Girl Scout cookies?

    My response to Ann:

    Was a Girl Scout for 10 years. While the camp staff I worked on was 2/3 lesbian (not kidding), there was no indoctrination. In fact, we actually taught conflict resolution skills to the girls. Oh wait… that was part of the Communist indoctrination. I guess I should look for the hammer and sickle hidden in the logo of our camp shirts.
    We bought cookies last year for the PICU staff. Right now, I’m waiting impatiently for delivery on my 15 boxes (although 3-4 of them were donated to troops serving overseas).

  55. says

    I leave a response when I appreciate a article on a site or I have something to add to the conversation. Usually it is caused by the fire displayed in the post I browsed. And after this post Only in Indiana are Girl Scouts “radical” | Blag Hag. I was actually excited enough to drop a comment ;) I actually do have some questions for you if you tend not to mind. Could it be just me or do some of the remarks appear like written by brain dead people? :-P And, if you are posting on additional social sites, I’d like to follow you. Could you make a list every one of all your shared pages like your twitter feed, Facebook page or linkedin profile?

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