You’d think someone who stayed up all night writing a research proposal wouldn’t want to think about research proposals anymore. But in fact, that is all my brain can comprehend at the moment. And since I’m about to go pass out and potentially sleep most of the day away, I felt I should get a nice discussion topic up here for you guys.
If money was not an issue, what scientific question would you ask? How would you go about doing your research? Please expand on the significance, innovation, and approach of your specific aims…wait, no, scratch that last part. Babble in a blog comment.
Also, thank you to the gigantic spider than nearly crawled over my hand at 5am. Your fear-induced energy gave me the second wind required to finish my paper.
Depending on mood I would either plough a ton of money into researching the causes of various diseases or build a very very very big muon accelerator to do high energy physics with. If all else fails I’d attempt to combine the too and make a very big bacteria/virus accelerator …..
The effects of zero gravity on the deliciousness of cup-cakes. Huge cup-cakes. Which means putting myself in space, with cup-cakes. Huge cup-cakes. Probably with pink icing as everyone knows pink is the most delicious colour.
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If size of wood an issue? Phase 1: build laboratory (high atop a mountain) to breed genetically-altered woodchucks capable of chucking logs.Phase 2: Perform log chucking, weight, endurance, and distance tests.Phase 3: Release log chucking woodchucks ON THE WORLD!!!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHA
Infinite money eh? I would set goals of:Finding, understanding and quantifying extraterrestrial life.Fully genetically mapping and completely understanding all life on this planet.Harnessing the direct energy output of our star to completely fill Earth’s energy needs, (and NOT by burning the energy stored in fossil fuels!!)And then as a side project, we would have to build a fully functional replica of the starship Enterprise, with replicators, phasers, shields, transporters and everything!
time travel,need i say more? :P
This question is why I have a Master’s degree and not a PhD. Of course, the infinite money thing pollutes the question. Most good research questions are very narrowly defined, covering a tiny piece of knowledge about a subset of a research area within a discipline… saying infinite money sets one up looking for grand questions, but the grand questions are usually answered by assembling the answers to a lot of little questions. Even nobel prize winners aren’t Darwins these days. What he did, creating an overarching model for the diversity of life on earth based almost solely on simple field observations, is largely impossible given the huge amount of scientific knowledge we already have.
How many more people can we add to the planet’s population before we make it unihabitable for ourselves?
“How many more people can we add to the planet’s population before we make it unihabitable for ourselves? “At least that one is fun to personally research…Myself, I’d have to go with, “What is the nature of consciousness? Does the brain, in fact, produce it (as current data would seem to indicate), and if so, how?”No idea how I’d go about doing the research, though. What with not being a scientist and all. I think I’d just throw a pile of money at a good neurology/ neuropsychology department, and let the experts handle it.
Dyson sphere? There can’t be grander project, with infinite resources.Not exactly research, but still a good way to spend the money.
I agree, if I had unlimited funds I’ll be probably doing the same type of research. The difference will be that I will have all the latest new instruments just to myself. My life would definitely be easier if I had my own qPCR and my own FACS instead of having to share the departmental ones with all these other idiot who keep it busy with their crap while my really important experiments (They’re my experiment and therefore, by definition, the only important one conducted) are waiting. It would also be great to just buy that kit or enzyme without trying first to figure out if I can just work an extra week and do without.
I’d probably research permanent red hair dye. Red colouring washes out faster than any other colour. I can’t believe it’s almost 2011 and red hair colouring still washes out, even the “permanent” stuff.
Please keep in mind that I haven’t read up on these subjects AT ALL. (Just for some context, I’m a Master’s student in Cellular and Structural Biology)1) Is there such a thing as glial transmission? Does it make use of action potentials and synapses, or some other mechanism?2) What is the signal that passes from fetus to mother to indicate that the baby is a boy, and it’s time for the mother to wash the uterine environment in hormone baths (which ensure that the fetus develops as a boy)? 3) Precisely what is the deal with cancer cells? (Not even in a clinical sense, just in an empirical sense: what is going ON there?)4) What is the importance of the mitochondrial life cycle, and what are the mechanisms that drive it?I guess that’s it for now. I’m sure there are more.
*Correction: I’ve read up on the mitochondrial one, because it’s my freaking thesis topic. But I haven’t read up on the rest.
With infinite money, I’d set to getting a step by step plan for teraforming Mars and I’d include send people around to schools to talk to students of all ages about what they can study to be a part of that effort.
Feasibility of interstellar travel. Namely energy sources and propulsion methods that can take people to several light years away within a lifetime. Preferably a “warp drive” that can achieve faster-than-light speeds.
Ultimate contraception. I’m imagining something that’s basically like an on/off switch on your junk, and only allows pregnancy if the switch is on for both partners. Plus it switches off automatically after a time limit, so you don’t accidentally leave it on. Ideally, the switch would be some kind of mental trigger, so that nobody else could turn it on or off by accident or without your permission. Once it was working, I’d keep on funding R&D in order to make it as reliable, safe, and especially cheap as possible.Basically, the point is to make it so that all pregnancies are the ones that were specifically intended. Condoms work pretty well, but in the heat of the moment people can forget them, and availability in some parts of the world is still pretty lacking. Having a contraception that’s active by default, but can very easily be deactivated at will, would be really helpful.
+ 1 for saying muon. +2 for stealing my suggestion.
Infinite money, well I would like to find out why some girls say they like chocolate better than sex. (Okay so sociology question, not science, but it came to mind first). Ultimate science question. What is the intensity to perceived intensity function with respect to frequency for our eyes? The sociological experiments done so far have been unsatisfactory and the answer would really have helped me in developing physics [read optics] labs a few years back. I would start by creating an interface between a human eye (donated postmortem of course) and a computer. Then test and test until the answer revealed itself.
I would try to find out why everyone seems to be having more sex than I am, and how that can be corrected.
Phase 4: PROFIT!
With infinite money, I’d study the effects of food on hungry people in other countries. ;)
A woman can control how long chocolate lasts. Chocolate is never selfish and always takes all the time on your tongue that you make it take. Chocolate will never complain about you sticking your finger in it. Chocolate never pressures a woman. Chocolate can be as fancy or as casual as the woman wants at the moment. Chocolate will be hot or cold as the woman chooses, not as chocolate chooses. Chocolate is never upset when a woman is not in the mood but always ready when she is.That’s the reasons for women.As a man, I have one consideration for chocolate versus sex. Chocolate, I can have some. Sex… I’m working on it.
Okay, Jeremy’s answer is the best. That’s something that needs some money going to it. I’d expand on that though: I’d study the effects of food on all hungry people everywhere. I’d also study the effects of money on education. What would a fully funded free for everyone through MS/MA school system look like?Or the effects of money on poverty, I’ll bet that would be interestingBut there are two things that are close to me that I think need more research and funding: Alzheimer’s research and Cancer. All cancer.
“Can human communities be set up on other planets?”I’d use that infinite money to fund grad students in the appropriate fields to answer all the questions that may lead to a “yes” answer to my big question. *grin*
Discovering a method of FTL travel that can be done to explore space. Why? Our destiny as a race is out there. Plus I want Star Trek, in real life, damnit.
1) Who wrote the Book of Love?2) What the fuck were they thinking?
mapping and emulating peripheral nerve sensory input and motor output(the point being for integrated prosethetics like Luke’s hand in return of the Jedi)
I prayed for that spider to crawl across your hand at 5 am….it’s nothing, really…don’t mention it….You could “Friend” me, than I’d be really happy!When I pray (and I don’t) it’s for weird little stuff like that….
If you had infinite money, what scientific question would you ask?Without a doubt it would be: Where the hell did all this money come from?
I would try to discover a humane and 100% effective way to keep spiders out of houses, especially big black ones.Big black spiders, I mean. I don’t care what size or color the house is.
If I had infinite money:I wouldn’t be able to do anything with it, because it would be completely worthless. Fscking inflation….
A printing press
As a person intrested in magic and the occult I would study why people belive it’s real. I mean, how come some people wake up seeing demons on their chest like my psycho-christian friend, when others see a monkey on their desk like my atheist friend, or like me just get the sensation of my pillow smothering me. Just as an example.And the nature of hallucinations is interesting as well. I read a book, “The way of the shaman” (selfhelp-sorta-documentary-lifeguide-spiritual book) by Michael Harner (complete kook), where a man had similar halluciantions to the the elder-shamans, though they are not to tell anyone. Of coure the bogus-meter goes off, but it would be intresting if we could find similarities in hallucinations.But I think I would honestly go for spacetravel. Screw hallucinations and magic, we would get spaceships!
Nice try, Zimbabwe, nice try…
For research for me to do PERSONALLY, I’d like to study the molecular/cellular/physiological mechanisms of mind-body interactions, particularly in the case of psychological stress –> physical dysfunction. Stress fucks with your immune system, [perhaps indirectly, through the immune system] with your commensal microbes, with your metabolism, with your cardiovascular system… but HOW? And how do we stop it? Given my background, I’d probably start with the more specific question of how stress impacts a particular microbe. And I’d pick something easy to work with. Not fucking herpes, as interesting as it is, because it’s a fucking pain in the ass. In terms of ACTUAL unlimited funds, obviously I’d go more for lowish-hanging but really important fruit in terms of positive impact on people’s lives. Drug discovery for neglected diseases, financial interventions (like microfinance) in poverty, cheap and easy delivery of clean water, adapting crops high in nutrients to poor areas with inadequate nutrition and poorly developed agriculture, improving education…. that sort of thing.
now we are going to bury you….And the lesson from all of this? DOUBLE!What do you want, you little f*ckers?more of these idi*tsyoutube.com/watch?v=q4C5yzFmC8…en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_…HOW N WON ALL THE PARANORMAL PRIZES!en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nostrada…youtube.com/user/xviolatex?fea…
Since I’m hardly a scientist, I’d throw it at NASA to see about developing a RAIR or solar sail to get us places outside of our galaxy. Like Gliese 581, which is probably earthlike.Mars, too, but I find the terraforming idea off-putting, just because of my sociology background – we’re going to go in and gentrify another planet, destroy what’s already there under the pretense of “making it better”, and if there is any sort of life there, probably under the surface, end up wiping it out with our inconsiderate behavior. Gah, this weird ethics thing. Of course, I could be getting ahead of myself here…
ah ah! It’s 1:30 AM here, I’ve just finished writing up a section of a paper for a collaboration, after coming back (via the snow-panicked German railway system) this evening from a visit to another city, where I had given a talk and sustained intense mathematical chatting all day long; in short, I’m exhausted and so before going to sleep, what do I do to forget about research stress?Why, I go read Jen’s blog of course.Bad choice…
Conversely, I would definitely reserve a sizable chunk of that money to answer the question: How best to invest large resources in research?
What are the causal mechanism and risk factors for Neurotypicalism, and is there any possibility of a cure or preventative measures?
Pills work pretty well too, but people can forget them. People can also “forget” them. Which is a HUGE reason your proposal is not just worthwhile but arguably mandatory from an ethical perspective, at least as an end-goal.
You’re not sleeping at a convenient time, sleeping for short stretches if at all, and waking up complaining. That sounds about right. :P
Then you go back several centuries to invest $1, so the accumulated interest gives the fortune needed to develop time travel. (Not original with me, but I don’t remember the author or title of the story)
Why has no one mentioned the origin of life yet? That’d totally be my first choice. And on the side I’d do some research on what the heck the purpose of telomerase is.
I would bring back Dinosaurs, but bring them back as tiny Dinosaurs. So we can have them as pets.I want one.
Two words: Genetic Engineering. Evolution needs a steering wheel and a turbo charger. Let’s do it while there is still time!
test
Not sure why I can’t post links, but I was going to say “Matrioshka Brain” so we can finally play “Duke Nukem Forever”…
My dissertation committee actually asked me this question at my defense a few months ago! I’m a bioarchaeologist with a geo/chronological focus on the Roman Empire, so I would do a crap ton of chemical analyses (isotope and DNA, mostly) to learn more about slavery in the Empire. We actually know very little about the lives of average Romans, even less about slaves and immigrants. I want to know all about the practice and structure of slavery in Roman society, but also what the slaves’ quality of life was, and how the rather fluid definition of a slave (e.g., they could easily be manumitted, and putting oneself into slavery was a path to a better life many times) affected the population as a whole. Or maybe I’d just build a time machine and ask the Romans what their lives were like.
How long would it take to develop a virus that would cause no illness, but would render sterile any person genetically inclined to accept or promote woo-woo (god-based or not), while leaving sane people capable of reproduction?Step 1. Start time counter at 0 years, 0 days, 0 hours, 0 minutes, and 0 seconds.Step 2. Develop the virus using evolutionary breeding techniques.Step 3. Record time count reading at the exact moment that the virus is developed. This will be the answer to the question.Step 4. Release the virus into the general population to confirm that the lab results were accurate.
Though I guess the critical question would be “is your sleep/wake schedule screwing up others’ sex life.” O.o
Not sure how I would go around doing it but putting malaria out of the picture.Perhaps Jen should adopt Arachne as her patron (mortal woman who wove a scene showing all the gods’ faults and so perfectly that even Minerva could not do better). Admittedly Minerva destroyed Arachne’s work and turned her into a spider for that.
No! Blue is the most delicious colour!Blue raspberry icee > Pepto-Bismol (Yes, those are my associations with pink and blue as flavours.)
I don’t know… Tiny ankle-biting dogs are just annoying. Tiny ankle-biting velociraptors sound terrifying!
Is it possible to build a teleportation device capable of being used for human transportation?Seriously, too many cool people and places are way too far from me, I need a teleportation device to make travel less time-consuming.
Eh…how about the economical implications of having an quasi-infinite amount of money?
But is Washington, at least, it’s not the big black ones you should be worried about. It’s the little brown ones.
Nah, they’d be like a pet parrot or a chicken.
Oh, come on, not YOU again! This is really getting kind of ridiculous.Don’t you remember?You made that suggestion the last 217 times that you arrived from the future, and the research you inspired ALWAYS determined that it is impossible. What makes you think this time will be any different?
Velociraptors actually were tiny ankle biters. Well, knees maybe. About the size of turkey. I guess they made the movie because the name flowed off the tongue better than deinonychus.
Why’s it always got to be about color?
Zero. We’re there. And that’s what I’d have researched: how to effectively and humanely reduce earth’s population to something sustainable while still keeping the technological development alive. Also, where to put the remaining population so that the environment is preserved and we can still sustain ourselves and what species we haven’t already exterminated.
Of course, answering the question “Magnets, how do they ficking work?”
How about “Can Creationist societies be set up on other planets?” Because if they can, then the next step is to send the fuckers there.
Check out “The Root of Thought” by Andrew Koob for more info on glial transmission. It’s a good read.
If only there was a biologist that could perminantly alter the pigments produced by our hair…
Probably genocide.
Oh man oh man choices choices… Infinite money to research ANYTHING…But only ONE QUESTION??What about follow up questions from the question at hand? Like “Are there alternate dimensions?” and if yes “Can we travel there?” as a follow up?hmmm Time travel, inter-dimensional space travel? how to feed the world? Vaccinate everyone? Can we ever gain immortality? how was the universe created and could we create mini universes in jars if we could somehow do that again?OH WAIT I GOT THE PERFECT ONE!”How does that work?”One question, apply as necessary to EVERYTHING.
Is catching the misspelling of the word “quesiton” on the header part of the riddle? The effects of insomnia, hmm?Anyway, I have great research idea, I’m in Washington so feel free to collaborate if you want. This research is what I call RMAS, “the Rational and Moral Analysis Methodology”.After reading Sam Harris’ The Moral Landscape, I figured I could prototype a web-based analytical program that could determine the height or depth of a certain decision or action along the grids of the moral landscape.So question was, “Can a scientific method based Analysis determine the level of Morality that certain decisions and actions affect?”
You win the thread.
That’s why I never contribute to those hunger relief / children’s fund orgs. I want to see some evidence that they’re encouraging a reduction in family size. Supposedly just becoming middle class & educated does the trick, but that’s a catch-22. I’d also like to see some attention paid to population vs the sustainability of the land. Can Haiti sustain its population? No. Instead of throwing money at band-aid solutions we should get those people out of there and put them someplace where they can make a life for themselves. I bet a lot of them would jump at the chance to get out.
See, I would just start with replicators and transporters. This would go a ways toward ending hunger and deprivation, AND the TSA would no longer be able to justify their porn-o-tron screeners and molestation gropes, because any weaponry could easily be detected and simply NOT be rematerialized, if the person were not legally allowed to carry. Win-win.
Why evolution ends in death? and Why everything decay?