My brain scares me sometimes

Last night I had a dream that I was discussing Harry Potter fanfiction on a bus with my friend Julie. Little did I know, Dan Radcliffe was also on that bus, so he came over and sat near us. He started flirting with me and lamented the fact that women only want to date him because he plays Harry Potter, not for his real personality. Before I’m able to say that I like his real personality, he has to leave because he’s playing Mulan in the live action version of Mulan. So he dresses up in Mulan-drag, but then aliens come and abduct everyone there but me. Then different benevolent aliens come and tell me that I’m the only one who can save them, but to do so I have to be transformed into a monkey. So I’m transformed into monkey-Jen, and transported to the alien ship by a collapsable R2D2. But I never actually rescue anyone because I waste too much time pondering why I can still speak English if I have a monkey body.

Lesson: Never eat suspect Chinese food right before going to bed. What the hell, subconscious.

Bonus Internet Poitns for whoever can come up with the best interpretation of my dream.


  1. Ratshag says

    No idea what it means, but far freakin’ awesome dream. All I get is the one where I forgot to study for the exam…

  2. Moky says

    It’s ok, I had a dream of a were hippo that turned into a pokemon and the Asari from Mass Effect.

  3. Cygore says

    You have a crush on Dan Radcliffe. You’ve been thinking about Skepticon 3, thus the aliens in your dreams. You are studying evolution, so you monkeys on your mind. Your mind then started to question the reality of the dream, and that’s when you woke up.It’s amazing what you can learn when you grow up with a psychologist. :)

  4. says

    Well, pulling from the big book of bullshite dream interpretation. You are undergoing stress because of something in your academic life which is causing you difficulty, and which you which you are having difficulty transitioning toward (knowing the real personality). However, you are persistent and will work to complete the goal (save the Radcliffe, Monkey), sadly you’re still uncertain about how to go about it so you’re stuck in a loop (why am I a Monkey able to speak English?)Or some rubbish like that.

  5. WingedBeast says

    Here’s my interpretation. You are the destined one proficied in the ancient texts that will save mankind from the… something or another. You’ll use your legendary biological skills to genetically engineer a whole race of you-monkeys, which might not be very powerful but will creep our great foes right the fuck out.And you have a crush on Daniel Radcliff, which is darned unfair to the rest of us, let me tell you.

  6. says

    Right.Daniel represents your inner extreme sports-person (Rad Cliffe [dude optional]), and the discussion on personality indicates you feel that depth of character is under-represented in the modern sports arena. The fact this happened on a bus (could it go over 50mph? Important) indicates a dichotomic split between the safety of extreme sports and the dangers of public transport. The evil and then benevolent aliens, while seemingly another dichotomic split, is actually quadrotomic between human/ alien and good/ evil. This indicates a subconcious desire to play Dungeons and Dragons with the extreme rules lawyering around good/ evil/ law and chaos. No true neutrality for you.The collapsible R2D2 represents the disposable culture around StarWars movies (first three keep, second three dispose of thoughtfully and violently) – and it also represents your inner toaster oven. Being a monkey is a high order function, indicating a desire to reverse evolve to the stage just before humanity develops an addiction to nonskeptical thought. Good luck with that.Daniel as live action Mulan is merely your brain branching out into interpretive dance as a valid dissertation mechanism. So you must either stop watching… or consider hiring a cranial choreographer./Professor von Explaino.

  7. says

    Not a dream.This all actually happened, after what you think is the end of the dream you go on to save everyone and bring everything back to its previous order. This is facilitated by the good aliens gaining control of the technology of the bad aliens due to your help. This made the good aliens powerful enough to restore everything and ‘correct’ everyone else’s memories. Due to your inter-species transformations though your memory correction was faulty allowing you to recall (somewhat distorted) memories of the early portions of the adventure.This happens to someone roughly quarterly, everyone else is just dreaming though.

  8. Julie says

    My interpretation: You’re secretly in love with me. Because we were almost certainly discussing slash fanfiction, which involves same-gender sex, right? You follow me? And then you have Dan Radcliffe crossdressing, which also involves homoerotic themes. And then the aliens, well, they’re, um… Shut up, you wanna do me.

  9. Wendy says

    This is by far the best farking thing I have ever read on the interwebs everYou win/and the comments are FTW

  10. says

    This is actually a secret message from the aliens about what’s in store for the future. They also know that someone by the name of Daniel Radcliffe or something is involved, but don’t know how, and don’t even know if that’s a male or female, and so guessed by having him dress in drag. They also know that a monkey will be involved, but your subconscious misinterpreted it as you being the monkey, and got you all confused because you were still speaking English.So, in conclusion, beware of chickens. Why? Because…chickens and aliens and Daniel Radcliffe and stuff don’t mix. It’s, umm, a fowl thing to have.

  11. says

    Isn’t it obvious. You dreamed of Daniel Radcliffe being worried about people being attracted to him because of your own worries about the attention from boobquake and how you are perceived publicly because of it. He shifted into Mulan in drag over your concern over gender roles and how you feel torn because you are attracted to both men and women. The aliens abducting everyone but you show a concern about abandonment, and the fact that it happens just after you see Radcliffe in drag likely means that you are worried about your sexuality being what leads you to be alone. Going from there, being transformed into “monkey-Jen” comes from the belief that now that others look to you for inspiration, the “benevolent aliens” if you will, you are worried that you will transform into something else because you try to fit there expectations. The fact that you are concerned about still being able to speak English while transformed indicates a strong will and desire to hold true to yourself, even if your public persona changes due to your new found fame.Oh course, it all really just be the bad Chinese food. I wonder what dreams you’ll have if you eat slightly off pizza?

  12. Atos says

    The traditional Turkish interpretation would be, you didn;t cover well during the night and your butt got cold(body parts getting cold really causes disturbing dreams).My interpretation is that you this was an omen from god that you are incarnation of his wildly expected son and destined to clear the world of blasphemy and save the true believers from the coming holy rupture.

  13. Michon van Dooren says

    I don’t really have an interpretation of it other than “what the…. awesome!!”, but hey, it’s better than what I get. I can’t remember the last dream I’ve had. Yeah, I know, I probably still dream, but I just don’t remember it. Same difference though. On the other hand, I don’t t really miss it that much, I mostly had nightmares anyway. Not that I’m complaining about not dreaming about Daniel Radcliffe, mind you, but still….Also, booo for bad Chinese food :(

  14. JediPsychologist says

    Ok firstly, I JUST started reading this blog, I added you to my reader last week, and I’m sincerely concerned that you’re actually me. Seriously lady, we are the same person. Moving on to the horrible implications of that comparison: I’m gonna go Freudian on this shit. Clearly, Dan Radcliffe has to represent latent sexual desires. Because he’s so dreamy, of course. So, his departure means you can’t achieve the sexual satisfaction you’d like. And his crossdressing means you’re bicurious, at the very least. The bus is, um, the journey! Of your life! …I got nothin on this one.The evil aliens are the Republicans! Leaving you alone to wallow in your liberal awesomeness. The benevolent aliens… I guess then have to be the Democrats? And you have to rescue them! From… themselves! (don’t read into this too much, I pay very little attention to politics, I’m just bullshitting here.)Turning into a monkey is a return to your natural roots, to simpler ways. But you can still speak English as your monkey-self because you are trapped by society’s rules and customs. R2D2 is just R2D2. Because awesome.

  15. says

    Yeah I dream about aliens too. They came to earth in need of help, because their planet was destroyed. So we helped them settle on Venus, but then something happened and earth was destroyed. Luckily I was one of the few survivors. Aliens did save me and now I’m living on Venus.

  16. Olifantje says

    Some random neurons in your hippocampus and parahippocampal gyrus firing, your frontal lobe making a nice story of it.Or it is because Daniel is a secret admirer and is thinking so much about you that his radar lover connects with your brain waves

  17. says

    lol. That’s messed up.My interpretation is that your subconscious has the fear of losing the ability to speak English after eating Chinese food and the fear of losing touch of reality because you admire idealized fiction characters.

  18. J. Mark says

    Dan Radcliffe’s initials are DR, so you’re really dreaming about meeting a doctor…Harry Potter is probably a monkey who makes ceramic pots, hence a hairy potter…you’re willing to at least admit that there are “good” aliens…a bus is the mode of transportation in most third world countries…in the back of your mind you know that actors don’t have a “real” personality, only the ones they adopt through their various stage & screen roles…the collapsible R2D2 is just weird, and has nothing to do with your dream at all…the fact that Dan is garbed in Mulan-drag is significant, but I’ll let you deal with that part in therapy….so, basically, you’re hoping to meet a doctor, who owns a monkey with his own pottery wheel, on a bus in a third world country, or maybe Arizona…you can communicate to him in English, but only by sign language…You ask him to help you “Save the aliens”, and he does….now you wonder, does he love me for my personality, or my sexy monkey body…

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