Oh Iran, the irony

The leader of Iran, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, is apparently not a fan of Paul the Psychic Octopus (emphasis mine):

He claims that the octopus is a symbol of decadence and decay among “his enemies”.

Paul, who lives at the Oberhausen Sea Life Centre, in Germany, won the hearts of the Spanish by predicting their World Cup victory.

He became an international star after predicting the outcome of all seven German World Cup matches accurately.

However, the Iranian president accused the octopus of spreading “western propaganda and superstition.” Paul was mentioned by Mr Ahmadinejad on various occasions during a speech in Tehran at the weekend.

“Those who believe in this type of thing cannot be the leaders of the global nations that aspire, like Iran, to human perfection, basing themselves in the love of all sacred values,” he said.

Wait, remind me again which country it was that had a cleric saying immodestly dressed women caused earthquakes? Oh, right, Iran. I mean, I was also a bit annoyed how the media popularized something superstitious like Paul, but I’m a bit annoyed at all superstitions. Apparently Ahmadinejad’s thinking goes something more like:

Psychic octopus predicting World Cup winners = propaganda, superstition, decadence, and decay

Women causing murderous natural disasters because they dare to show their hair or ankle = human perfection

Right.

I should not be allowed to drive bloggers

I’m back from the Secular Student Alliance conference! I apologize again for the dearth of blog posts. I was itching to blog the whole time, but I didn’t have the time or the internet access. Lucky for you that in just a couple days, I’ll be pooping out 49 blog posts in a single day! Hopefully that will more than make up for my absence. But since I made the mistake of checking my email before flopping into bed, here’s one funny story you get from the trip.

I have realized that I should not drive bloggers.

Not because I hate bloggers or I’m a horrible driver or something. God just hates atheist bloggers in transit, apparently. When I had to pick up PZ from the airport, his flight arrived horribly late and I felt like I was going to kill both of us speeding off to our event. When I had to drive Greta Christina to Chicago, it was during a nasty blizzard, where we passed many cars in ditches.

And now I had a driving adventure with Hemant.

Hemant was nice enough to pick up me and my friend Mark on his way to Columbus, OH since we’re fairly close to him. Half way into the six hour drive we decided to switch so he could nap as a passenger, instead of behind the wheel. He pulls over and we trade places.

Me: Man, your side of the car is really hot.
Hemant: Huh, I was just going to say the same thing about your side.

A couple minutes go by and we realize the air conditioning magically broke right when we pulled over. Not the end of the world, but definitely unpleasant since it was in the 90s and humid. Thankfully we were all sweating like crazy, so I didn’t have to worry about my individual stinkiness.

I drive for a bit more. Hemant’s already sleeping.

Mark: Do you smell smoke?
Me: …Yeah.

In retrospect this should have been a red flag, but it smelled so similar to cigarettes we thought we were just driving by a particularly stinky area. Eventually it goes away, and I figure I’ll start to be worried if I see flames shoot out from under the hood.

We’re all dying from the heat, but the zoo is in sight. We’re just stuck waiting to turn at the light, and then we’re in the parking lot. Except there’s just one problem.

Me: Um, Hemant, nothing happens when I press the gas pedal.
Everyone: [insert explitives of your choice here]

Eventually after much restarting, the car decides to live again. I make it to the parking lot, trying not to ever come to a full stop. This was especially interesting when I needed to pay for parking and I’m trying to exchange money without coming to a full stop. We decide to just park the car, go to the zoo with the rest of the group, and deal with it later.

Dealing with it later = Realizing the car doesn’t start at all.

Thankfully my friend Mike was there with his own car and called AAA for us. So we spent the rest of the afternoon following a tow truck and scheming how we could possibly get back to Chicago without Hemant’s car. Eventually we found out his car could be fixed, and we were able to get back to Chicagoland in one piece.

Unfortunately, the same cannot be said about Hemant’s wallet.

I’m starting to think this is compelling evidence for the existence of a God who hates atheist bloggers – not enough to strike them down, but just enough to annoy them with horrible driving experiences. Hopefully I never have to drive Richard Dawkins around – I can’t imagine what major catastrophe would happen then.

Open thread

Instead of waking up early and preparing some blog entries to autopost, I decided to sleep an extra 45 minutes this morning. And by that I mean I slept through my alarm and ran through my house swearing as I frantically got ready to leave for Ohio.
So, open thread! Talk about whatever is on your mind, and feel free to shamelessly self promote.

I may or may not blog more while here – wifi doesn’t work and I’m going to be super busy, so we’ll see. Sorry guys, blogger fail.

Phil Plait’s Bad Universe

How badass does that sound? Well, the trailer lives up to the badassery:

Geekgasm! So glad Discovery is adding another scientific/skeptical show to its lineup – something other than logging, fishing, or ghosts. Especially since astronomy was my first scientific love, so I have a soft spot for it in my heart. And even better that it features Phil Plait, who after meeting at TAM, I know I could definitely sit down and watch for hours.

…Because he’s entertaining. Man, why does everything I say sound so creepy? Anyway, yay for his top secret project being revealed!

(Via Skepchick)

Secular Student Alliance Conference starts tomorrow, woo!

Wanted to give you guys a heads up that I’ll be heading to the Secular Student Alliance conference in Columbus, OH tomorrow and be there until late Monday. If you’re going too, say hello! Don’t forget that Greta Christina’s keynote is free and open to the public. And for the rest of you, I’ll try to set up some autoposts for then so you don’t get too blog deprived.

Can’t stay up too late tonight, since Hemant is picking me and Mark up bright and early tomorrow for our ~6 hour drive to the zoo. If any of the religious signs in rural Indiana and Ohio ignite his road rage, I’ll be sure to livetweet as he drives us into a ditch. Look at the brightside: At least PZ’s strike is over. That way our untimely demise won’t completely implode the atheist blogosphere!

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to finish putting some last minute lolcats into my Very Serious Presentation.

lol modern art

Yesterday I went to the Art Institute of Chicago with my parents, aunt, and uncle. I love the Art Institute. Between many art class field trips and my mom being an art teacher, I’ve been there so many times that I no longer need a map to navigate it. Definitely in the double digits. But they had built a whole new modern art wing since the last time I visited, so I was excited to check that out.

Oh boy.

Now, I probably have more of an appreciation for modern art than your average person. Up until my senior year of high school, I thought I was going to be an artist, not a scientist. I’ve taken many advanced classes, won art awards, yadda yadda. There is plenty of modern art I really enjoy, including some crazy abstract/weird/symbolic stuff.

But man, I just don’t get some modern art. Seriously, what the hell?That is an old oversized car mat someone bent and pinned. And it is now hanging in the Art Institute of Chicago. WTF. And this wasn’t the weirdest stuff. There was a black canvas, a pile of rocks, a painting of a date, a video of an electric guitar being drug through grass…

I’m sorry, but just because you were the first person to think to do something doesn’t make it good art. Nor does writing up some flowery bullshit post-hoc explanation of what deep symbolism your piece has. Gah, artist pet peeve.

Some of the stuff there looked comparable or even worse than stuff I did as a toddler. For example, The First Part of the Return from Parnassus by Cy Twombly:

“Cy Twombly’s famously inimitable art is tensely balanced between expressively abstract and suggestively pictorial impulses. His work originated under the auspices of Abstract Expressionism in the late 1940s and early 1950s and advanced uniquely along lines afforded by its freedoms. Twombly’s entire enterprise is characterized by unruly marks—stammering, energetic, and raw—that merge drawing, painting, writing, and symbolic glyphs. Scrawled, overwritten, erased, or willfully misspelled, words cite people, places, events, and stories nominally derived from Greco-Roman culture and history, especially literature, poetry, and myth.”

…And here’s the watercolor hanging in my bathroom that I did at age 3:Let’s have a contest.

Write the best summary you can of my piece that would make it worthy of an art museum. “Best” can either be most humorous, most deep, most similar to the BS descriptions we’re used to hearing. This is art, I’m not going to make strict rules!

The one I like the most will get a quick sketch by me of something of their choice. I’ll post my favorites in a couple of days.

The rumors aren’t true!

Of course I’m not replacing PZ at ScienceBlogs! It’s like the person writing this article completely fabricated the whole thing. Journalism today, sheesh.

I mean, just think of the logistics. What would I post photos of every Friday, types of kangaroo rats? An army of adorable rodents doesn’t have the same power as an army of cephalopods. And would I have to grow a beard? See, it just doesn’t make sense.

Well, except for the last paragraph. That’s totally true.

Blogathon 2010

It’s time for this blogger to go mad from sleep deprivation for charity! Again!

Those of you who have been here for a while (the “I read Blag Hag before boobquake” hipsters) may remember Blogathon from last year. Blogathon is just what it sounds like – a blogging marathon. Starting on Saturday, July 31st at 8am EST, I will make a new blog post every half hour until Sunday, August 1st at 8am EST. None of these posts will be made ahead of time or set to autopost at a certain time – I’ll be up blogging new material for the whole 24 hours.

But the purpose isn’t to spam your Google Reader; it’s to raise money for charity. You pledge on my behalf, just like you would for someone running a marathon. Except instead of showing my physical prowess, I’ll be sitting on my ass in front of a computer frantically typing away while consuming caffeine – an equally impressive display, I’m sure you’ll agree.

Like last year, my charity of choice is the Secular Student Alliance. I’ve gushed about them before, but let me reiterate what a fabulous organization the SSA is. The SSA aids secular, atheist, humanist, and freethinker student organizations across the US and the world. They help students start new groups at universities and high schools, provide information and event ideas to current groups, send great speakers to campuses, and encourage networking between the next generation of outspoken secular voices. If you’re reading my blog, I probably don’t have to explain why having these resources for young people is so important. For the sake of full disclosure, I am now a board member of the SSA. But that has just shown me how much hard work is going on behind the scenes at this organization.

Last year Blogathon was a great success. Not only did some of my readers have fun staying up with me during my increasing level of madness, but we raised $531.17 for the SSA! My readership has increased greatly since then, so I hope we can top that this year.

So what can you do to help?

1. Donate through this ChipIn widget, which goes to the SSA’s PayPal account. You can pledge a lump sum, or be more creative if you wish. Donate a sum of money based on my total word count, for every post you really liked, for every time you laugh, or for every time I say a particular word I overuse. Surprise me!

Oh, and $3,000 is kind of an arbitrary amount. I just think it’s fulfilling seeing that progress bar fill up, haha.

2. Spread the word! Post this on your blog, tweet it, tell a friend. And remind people to “tune in” on the 31st!

3. Inspire me! If I haven’t been answering your emails or questions on formspring.me, it’s because I’ve been saving up (sorry!). But I can never have too many blogging prompts. Ask me a question anonymously, or email me an idea at blaghagblog(at)gmail(dot)com.

4. Keep me company on the 31st. It helps knowing people are actually reading the posts I’m pumping out. And I try to keep them the same quality of my normal posts – I won’t throw up stupid filler just to meet my quota. It should be entertaining for everyone involved, especially since you can literally watch me get more delirious as the night goes on. And hey, it can get lonely at 5am. It’s good to know there’s another night owl out there.

So, help out a good cause and (hopefully) be entertained for a day!