I’m going to Disney World!

It sounds very stereotypical, doesn’t it? “You’ve just graduated college – what are you going to do now?!” But it’s true. Tomorrow I’m driving down to Florida with three of my close friends, and staying for a little less than a week. We’re going to Magic Kingdom, Epcot, and a beach or two (still to be determined). the fangirl in me is still a little cranky that the Wizarding World of Harry Potter theme park won’t be open yet…oh well, I’ll have an excuse to come back later.

I’m pretty excited. The first and only time I went to Disney World was in 5th grade, when I would have been about 10 years old. Personally, I think that’s the most awkward age to go. I was too old to appreciate all the characters walking around – I knew they were just random people in suits, and that weirded me out a bit. Though I did get a photo with Scrooge McDuck, because DuckTales was awesome.
Yeah 90’s jean overalls, wooo!

But I was also too young to really enjoy most of the rides. I didn’t get into roller coasters until I was peer pressured to go on some when I was about 17, mainly because Disney managed to scare the crap out of me for a while. My mom said we needed to go on at least one real roller coaster, and got us in line for Space Mountain despite my protestation. To this day this amazes me, since my mom hates roller coasters and wouldn’t even get on the spinning teacups with me and my dad.

To make matters worse, my family ended up being in the first car. It’s single file seating, so my dad was first (much to his chagrin), then me, then my mom. Now, my dad is 6’6″. The whole time it looked like he was going to get decapitated by one of the rafters, so I was screaming bloody murder. But then about halfway through the ride I just stopped. The little logical side of my brain (yes, it was there at age 10) thought, “This ride is going to last for another minute. No one can stop the ride because you’re screaming. Might as well just not bother.”

Of course, my parents thought I had passed out.
Dad: Are you okay?!
Me: *whimpers* No.

And since I’m convinced parents are kind of sadistic at times, they think this is the funniest story ever.

Anyway, I’m super excited for my trip. I’m going to ride everything this time now that I actually like roller coasters. I never went on famous stuff like Splash Mountain, and I will conquer Space Mountain! I’m also excited to just sit around on a beach for a while. I finally found a new swim suit that fits me, so I don’t have to stress about that anymore. My solution was buying a top that was much bigger than the bottom. Thank you, boobies!

The one downside for you guys is that I’m going to have limited to no internet for a week. Gasp! I’m going to try to make some posts today, but I need your help for inspiration. Either ask me random questions here in the comments, or ask me questions anonymously at formspring.me. I already have some good questions backlogged there, and I will get to them! You can also follow me on twitter, because I’m sure I’ll be tweeting hilarious things and photos from my Florida adventure via phone.

Now, off I go to pack! Weeeeee!


  1. says

    Has an awesome time!As roller coasters go, Space Mountain is actually very mild. The Rock & Roller Coaster at the MGM Studios park and Expedition: Everest at the Animal Kingdom park is both quite righteous, howevers. I recommends both. And Splash Mountain is a hoot.

  2. Greg23 says

    Same here for Space Mountain. The roller coaster was no big deal. It was catching the glimpses of the girders in the low lighting that scared the crap out of me. Even though the rational mind said this has been tested 1000s of times with people taller than I.

  3. says

    Have a great time, Jen. I can’t think of anything of late to ask you for a deeply introspective and intelligent point of view upon, so I will simply say…What is your favourite colour? And why? Seriously.

  4. Claire V says

    LOL, Space Mountain was the SCARIEST roller coaster there! You should have gone on the Brer Rabbit ride (I liked that one a lot better) or maybe the Tower of Terror (not a roller coaster, but fun!). Have a great time!

  5. John Sherman says

    Enjoy your trip. I’ll probably be going to Disneyland next week myself. I live fairly close and have an annual passport. One time I got on my Space Mountain with two friends. Our car left the station and approached the point where the ride begins. However, instead of going forward, we made a sudden left turn into a tunnel previously hidden by a wall. I was convinced we were being taken to the hidden lair of the cannibal horde that secretly ran Disneyland and that we were all doomed. As it turned out my two friends and I are all pretty big guys and with everyone else in the car, it weighted too much. They took us out and put us in another car filled with very light-weight junior high school girls who, I am ashamed to say, screamed considerably less than I did once the ride actually got going. If you want one hell of a roller coaster, go to Cedar Point in Ohio. Their coaster Millennium is fantastic!

  6. says

    Have fun, last time I was there I couldn’t enjoy it because my fundy wife (at the time) kept being fundy.Edit: and DuckTales ruled!

  7. the_Siliconopolitan says

    Never been in a rollercoaster, myself – that I recall at least.I guess you should be happy you hadn’t read the first chapter of Detective Conan before going on that first ride, though.

  8. skepticalmedia says

    I got stuck on the “It’s a small small world” ride for 45 minutes in Disneyland in Anaheim. Now I get nauseous whenever I hear that song. Have fun on your trip.

  9. says

    Oh, Space Mountain. I remember my brother told me that somebody lost their head on it once. Even though I was also ten at the time that I first went and was only about 4’5″, I was scared to death that I was going to get my head knocked off. Of course, when I didn’t the first time, I couldn’t get enough of the coaster.Have fun. Even as an adult, I still have fun when I go to Disney World. Epcot rocks.

  10. Guest says

    sounds like a ton of fun! i’ve never been to disney…but whenever the harry potter exhibit opens up…i’d love to. shame it won’t be open when you go! don’t forget sunscreen, it’s bleeping hot out down here in the south (i’m in new orleans…)

  11. Introbulus says

    Awkward timing? Bah, you have no idea. I was in my mother’s WOMB the first time I went to Disney World! I wasn’t even able to move my own mouth, let alone understand where I was at the time. Though I recently got to go again – last year, in fact. It was fantastic. Though Space Mountain was, unfortunately, closed when I got there, every other thing was phenomenal, and left a dent in my bank account the size of New Jersey. But it was GREAT.

  12. VanillaMilla says

    Hahaha, cute picture.Also, tea cups =/= roller coasters. Roller coasters go fast. Tea cups just spin in circles and make me want to throw up.

  13. Carl I says

    I hope you have time to go to Cape Canaveral as well to see the real space stuff.

  14. Chris, Floridian Atheist says

    Having been reading this blog for about, oh, two months, I am rather amused that the first thing to get me to comment here was the reference to Space Mountain. At 6’3, I always feel as though I am going to lose my head on that ride, so I can only imagine your father must have felt something similar.Enjoy your trip, and follow Carl I’s advice if you get the chance: Canaveral is a rather nice place to visit, and a bargain compared to the admissions price for Disney.

  15. Katy says

    Here’s a question for you – what do you think of learned behaviors we develop? My 3 year old daughter was playing at the park this weekend, and she was climbing all over things she had told me before she couldn’t climb on. I mentioned it to my boyfriend, and he said, “She does that all the time. She acts like she can’t do things when you’re around, or when men are around, but she really can. That’s why I always make her do things I know she can do that she’s just pretending to be helpless about.” I was super disturbed because she must have learned that from me, but I’m a very unapologetic feminist! How do we unlearn these ridiculous things?! How do we NOT teach our daughters to pretend to be helpless when a man is around?

  16. says

    Funny story about Space Mountain… My parents took me when I was five and the park people actually let me on even though I was much too small for the ride. I nearly fell out of the seat. My mother, who was sitting behind me held me down through all the whole ride. It gave her whiplash. Also, when we told people we were from Kentucky, they looked down at our feet to see if we wore shoes. >.> Have I mentioned I dislike Florida?

  17. Denis says

    The details are the secret to Disney. Look for Hidden Mickeyshttp://www.hiddenmickeysguide….There are supposed to be some pretty good details going into Universal’s Potterland, but Disney is better at it all aroundThe dark rides are unlike anything an any other theme park. The Haunted Mansion is the coolest attraction on the planet.Dinosaur in Animal Kingdom is OK (its cousin – Indiana Jones Adventure in Disneyland is better)Soarin’ in Epcot is awesome.You should have done some research before the trip. An unplanned trip in the summer can be miserable with long waits in queues. The secret is to get to the parks when they open, though.

  18. PadawanDoug says

    Though I don’t have kids, I have a little limited experience with a few. And I was one, so . . . .It sounds like your daughter was just using helplessness to get some attention. Boys make noise and run around to get attention, girls act helpless and go “help me!” Sounds stereotypical, but everything in our culture reinforces it, so it’s probably hard to avoid.Would’t presume to give you advice about it, as I mentioned I don’t have kids — wait, Jen doesn’t have kids either! Of course it’s her blog, and she asked for Q’s . . . . Besides, I was not a typical male child — my parents almost thought I was autistic, since I talked so little. Also, never liked sports, bookworm, one of the old school sf geeks, etc . . . .

  19. PadawanDoug says

    Good song parody, andrewShall! Maybe more for the cynics among us, though. I also am not a fan of the mouse company. More on general anti-corporation grounds than anything else, though they do seem to be less evil than other corps, with their pro-gay policies (or maybe that makes them worse, i.e. more greedy — they want the gay peoples money too!).How did the trip turn out?

  20. PadawanDoug says

    Jen, have fun!Here is a question: How much do you like “House”? I remember in one of your posts you mentioned you were running late during the posting and “House” was coming on. I am a huge fan, though I think the best season was the one where he had the new candidates to eliminate every week (Season 4, I think).Did you see the season finale last week? If so, any thoughts? I would say more but don’t want to spoiler it for anyone.

  21. says

    We weren’t going to go until June, but my wife had a change of heart and we’re leaving the kids with the inlaws and going to Chicago for a few days.This pushes disney back to next year!

  22. tabuhan says

    Als Achterbahnen gehen, Space Mountain ist eigentlich sehr mild. Die Rock & Roller Coaster an der MGM Studios Park und Expedition: Everest im Animal Kingdom Park ist sowohl ganz gerecht, howevers. Ich empfiehlt beide. Und Splash Mountain ist ein Schrei.Portable defibrillator

  23. Matt says

    Jen,Take some time, a day or two, and visit the kennedy space center visitor center. It’s only an hour or two from orlando, but it’s freaking awesome. They even have a space shuttle launch ride for the ride junkies! I’m a student nearby and I work at KSC, and I still regularly get my season pass to the visitor center. Check it out, I know you’ll like it :)

  24. libraboy says

    Oh, God! So did I! It was 1986 and I’m like “Please let me out. I’ll be good!” There are no atheists in “It’s a Small World.”

  25. Terri says

    “Hundreds of dancing dolls!” It was nice to get out the heat though. In the book, “Kingdom Keepers” some kids discover a dark side of Disney after hours. The premise is that fictional characters become real and take over if believed in for a long time. The dolls start attacking the boat like zombies, hanging onto the kids with their teeth. Hilarious.

  26. Katy says

    Hmmm, Doug, you’re probably right. She has an insatiable appetite for attention. I don’t know if it’s the age or her personality. I worry about the anti-feminist implications, though! Is this just a nature thing (in the nature vs. nurture battle), or is it a learned behavior that I’ve somehow taught her?

  27. Anissa says

    Hey there! Wave as you pass by Jacksonville, please. I’ve recently discovered your blog and appreciate your wit and wisdom.Your story about Space Mountain reminds me of my first roller coaster experience. A friend convinced me (somehow) to get on Kumbaa in Busch Gardens, which I think was the tallest/fastest/somethingest roller coast in the US at the time. And we were in the front row. Of course, I SHRIEKED bloody murder for the first half, then went dead quiet. My friend kept trying to squeeze my hand, and she thought I’d passed out. Once we got off, though, I started laughing hysterically and ran to get in line again! That adrenaline rush was lovely – we rode the coaster four or five times that day.Space Mountain seems much tamer these days than when I was a kid. It’s not as dark as it used to be, and it feels slower. Now Splash Mountain is a thrill – there are no lap belts or anything there, and it feels extremely risky when you go over the top.

  28. Angela says

    I’m going to Disneyland after graduation (in June, stupid quarter system), so you’re not the only 22 year old atheist going to Disney like the cliche. Of course, I live 45 minutes from Disneyland and have an annual pass, so it’s not so much specifically celebrating as it is that I’ll finally have time to go again when my finals are over… Good luck with Florida weather, having been there twice for family weddings I’m not sure the state is good for more than alligator habitat.My one experience with Disney World (as opposed to Disneyland) sucked, but that was mostly due to my parents’ poor planning. They took me to one of the water parks early in the morning when it was too cold to want to be wet, and just as it warmed up enough to be fun, we left for Epcot. At Epcot there was very little shade and no real rides to speak of, and we were just walking around sweltering until it suddenly started pouring… For the record, all the nice sit-down restaurants require reservations months in advance.

  29. says

    This is totally what I would do! I went to Magic Kingdom last August for my honeymoon and had a freakin’ blast. Ride Space Mountain extra for me – it was closed when we were there. :3

  30. L84dinner says

    We could use another b00bquake. Do you have any boobquake bikinis? This trip would be an excellent time for you to show off your assets. Err, I mean wares! :-P

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