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Mar 30 2012

I bought me a lottery ticket

Estimated cash value, now up to a cool 640 million. Normally I shy away from paying the stupid tax, but with all the buzz I was as helpless to do my consumer duty as a trained chicken pecking at a mini-piano for seed. If I win anything here is my sworn oath: as I’ve been carefully taught by the masters of the universe, like Mitt Romney and the Bain crew above, I will spend the money exclusively on myself, earmarking a few million for political purposes dedicated to making the life of non lottery winners as brutal as humanly possible and taking every last cent they have. Because half a billion isn’t nearly enough, right? How about you, fellow lottery players?

8 comments

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  1. 1
    jamessweet

    Yup, while I was in the supermarket, my wife called me on my cell phone and told me to get five tickets. Much to my chagrin of course.

    I’m sure the clerk got a kick out of it.

    “I would like to waste some money, please.”

    “Heh, okay.”

    “I’ll take five dollars on the same thing that everyone else is wasting their money on tonight. Random numbers is fine, thanks.”

  2. 2
    wilsim

    Never have, never will… although it does get tempting when the megabucks goes above 300 million. Still, just seems like a complete waste of money to me.

  3. 3
    wholething

    Do you know how people forget about their old friends when they come into a lot of money? That’s how rich I want to be.

  4. 4
    'Tis Himself

    I don’t want to be rich. I just want to have enough money that I don’t have to go to work any more.

  5. 5
  6. 6
    Didaktylos

    I often buy a single entry (£2.00) into the Euromillions lottery (if I have £2 to spare). I just count it as money spent frivolously that I would otherwise have spent in some other frivolous manner.

  7. 7
    Cuttlefish

    Estimated cash value as of this morning?

  8. 8
    Trebuchet

    Aww, I didn’t win. But I got my $2.00 entertainment value out of it, just watching it go up and asking my wife what she was going to spend it on.

    The Romney picture is great! Where did it come from? Hope to see lots more of it this fall!

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