Whenever I Googled any aspect to do with “fake geek girls” or other aspects of regular nerdrage, this blogpost kept popping up. It’s titled “Why Cosplay Girls Annoy The Shit Out Of Me”.
I thought I’d write a response, since the comments seem to mostly agree with it and I’ve not seen one critically examine it’s strange claims. Sorry that it’s a little old.
I am anticipating a sudden drop in my number of online friends and an immediate rise in hatemail. Why? Because today I am calling out cosplay girls.
I am a science fiction fan, and I mean that in the “I know who Theodore Sturgeon, Robert Sheckley, Fredirik Pohl and a whole bunch of other people you have no idea are because you think watching 6 seasons of Lost made you a hardcore Sci-Fi fan”
Oh please! He think this proves his credentials?!So I’ll ask him: How many times did Captain Kirk use the letter “s” in the entire series? What’s the name of the second musician in the bar scene from Star Wars and what’s the name of the instrument he’s playing? What was the name of the producer’s assistant’s hairdresser’s boyfriend from Back to the Future? Bet you don’t know the answer, you fake geek guy!
and you’d think that I would be all about hot chicks picking up on my interests, but I am not. Why? Because these girls, as a general rule, suck.
The first thing about cosplay girls is that their average age is 11-17 years old.
Citation needed. From what area? According to this Polygon piece: “the average age for entering the hobby hovers between high school and college” (citation needed there, too, by the way, but they’re probably more reliable given their ethics and journalism requirements).
Now, I don’t have my law degree by any means but I am pretty sure that even SEEING a girl who is 14 and thinks a public appropriate outfit is one where there is a patch of fur covering her butt crack and 2 pieces of tape modestly concealing the part of the nipple that sticks out but leaving the aureola mostly exposed is grounds for a sex offense if you’re looking at it and over the age of 18.
Yeah, he’s clearly not thinking about underage girls as cosplayers hard or deep enough. (Hint: that’s one long sentence)
And this is why some guys now have to go door to door and say hello to their new neighbors when they move into a new neighborhood
Victim-blaming and men as mindless rape drones. Very nice.
Let me put it to you this way, a good way of defining whether or not an underage girl in any given outfit is morally bad is to ask yourself the following hypothetical question:
You can judge someone’s “morality” by their outfit?
If said girl was on a stage and I had a dollar bill in my hand when the cops came through the door would I be spending the next 5 to 10 as the lowest ranking caste in the correctional system? Seriously, if having a picture of it on your hard drive would cause a statch charge it’s probably not good in public.
OK, maybe he’s saying how to judge whether it’s wrong to sexually engage with a cosplayer and age matters? Well yes: age and consent, not whether they’re a stripper or sex worker. Being either of those isn’t a bad thing, necessarily.
Also, cosplay girls, I have to bust your nuts on another thing: what you are doing is NOT costuming.
Please do tell us what costuming is really about, since people who’ve spent days or months designing and preparing costumes you deem morally offensive are clearly wrong!
According to this gentleman, this is a costume:
But this isn’t:
Pictured: cosplay girls! One is fine, the other isn’t. So… I guess his title should’ve been “why certain cosplay girls [the slutty ones!] annoy the shit out of me”.
Costumes are things that completely transform a person into an unrecognizable form or a fantasy, they are things that require long periods of time and skill to create. Your work generally requires a wig from Ebay and some 1/8th yard snippets from the scrap bin at JoAnne Fabrics. Think I’m full of shit and don’t know what I’m talking about? Let me ask you this, and answer honestly: What was the last costume you had that DID NOT require a wig, used more than a yard of fabric and covered your mid riff? Yeah, I thought so.
The Lord Captain Commander of Costume has spoken. Instead of calling it a “bad” costume or a “slutty” costume or whatever pejorative phrase – it’s not a costume at all! It’s… it’s a way to get attention! A gateway drug to moral badness! Death from the skies! Dogs marrying cats! Lakes of fire!
It also bugs me that I see a lot of these people in general being hailed as “creative”.
He is also the Prince Regent of Creativity.
Replicating something someone else created is not creative.
Yeah, all you talented painters who are able to paint near-perfect works: you’re not creative at all! Second, replicating, copying, etc., can be creative – it may be wrong, it may be cheap, but it’s not necessarily lacking in creativity.
You’re an OK copy artist, congratulations at tracing the lines ass hat.
Yeah, Disney artists and animators and so forth. You suck! You idiot people who bring to life other people’s creation in costume-form!
Oh wait, that is a costume.
But… but it can’t be a bad costume! That’s what he means. Put some effort in, dammit.
Um, that just makes you not very good as an artist. So… why not simply say that? Or rather, why say that at all? And how does the inability to make perfect costumes tie in with knowing who the second cousin’s hairdresser from Jurassic Park is, again?
See, you’re not really even PLAYING or pretending at costuming. Your efforts are so weak that they couldn’t even be considered valid for costuming, what you’re actually playing at is whoring.
Well, that escalated quickly.
I’m not saying you ARE whores, I’m saying you’re doing a fantastic job playing them.
And? You’re saying there’s no interesting sex worker characters in things so-called “geeks” enjoy ? There are no beloved characters who show skin? And if they are, then cosplayers portraying them are actually doing a good job at creating the costumes. And if they do a bad job, then it’s a bad costume job, not “bad because slutty” – I’m very confused at the target of his hate.
You’re kind of failing in two highly disparate yet somehow connected areas, namely costuming and slutting around.
Someone please tell me: What is “slutting around”? Is it that magical women force that turns good, normal men into rapists? Oh those evil women and their magical powers!
You’re failing at costuming because your craftsmanship is for shit and does not exemplify a concerted effort into the field
OK, so we’re yelling at bad costume makers?
and you’re failing at being sluts because you just look like one but you’re not actually ponying up the goods/effort in that area either.
OK, so we’re yelling at “slutty” women, because dressing slutty means they need to immediately give us sexy time and they’re not doing that (i.e. “ponying up the goods”) even though they’re dressed slutty?
But what if there’s a beautifully created cosplay of a sexy character by a woman who – shock! horror! – just loves that character? What if – I know this is weird – but what if it’s possible for women to wear clothes that show a lot of skin, cling tightly to their bodies, but aren’t trying to sleep with every man in their immediate vicinity? What if women were actual persons who cared more about them feeling good than being stand-in jack-off material for paranoid men?
I realize I’m being harsh here but don’t take it too personally, you’re in the right age group for this.
Wait. I thought he said they were under age? Also, you’ve namecalled with sluts, asshat and so forth, mocked poor costume design and equate slutty-dressing with automatic sexual favours – but women (sorry, slutty women) shouldn’t take it personally? Oh, OK then.
When you live at home no one really expects a lot from you so half assing everything is ok, we’re not looking at any of you and expecting anything great so if the best thing you can provide the world with at this point is some prepubescent spank bank deposits, fine.
Unless “spank bank deposits” is blogposts like this, I’m not sure what this weird generalisation means.
Just do us all a favor and make up for it by doing something worthwhile later in life like curing cancer, teaching the next Helen Keller to talk
Yes: People ought to forget what their talents or loves are and should all just start curing diseases, because everyone is equally capable of that. (Irrelevant comment but I do hope this gentleman is helping cure cancer and so forth to not convey hypocrisy)
or being at least nominally less worthless than you are now…
Worthless? How can such a claim be made about strangers you’ve not spoken to but have merely judged en masse or created from the fever-dreams of fearful men?
unless of course you’re in your late 20′s and still doing this, in which case god help you.
Cats marrying dogs! Lakes of fire! Seas of blood!
You’re in for a hard landing when reality sets in and you realize what a continental dollar male attention really is, especially when your 16 year old breasts make way for Harley Davidson udders.
Male attention! Male attention. The anchor of all things!
Being the hot chick people want to fuck has a way of leaving you optionless in your later years as no one wants to see an octogenarian Aeon Flux and slipping past the door guards for the merch room at the Trek convention isn’t really a career skillset.
Yes beautiful women only function in one way and serve one function as a breeding machine – or encouragement for breeding simulation. No one finds successful accomplished women beautiful anywhere. Nope. Beautiful women are only sluts and have no talent. Glad we cleared that up.
Now look, I’m not against skanky outfits.
I generally think you can judge how fucked a society is by how AGAINST girls in sexy outfits it is.
Is this a different writer?
I think that’s why the Middle East is such a mess, because they don’t embrace the awesomeness that is baby doll t-shirts but there’s an appropriate context here. I’m not a puritan, I’m about the least sexually uptight person on the planet but I restrict my appreciation to that of girls who are a legal age, which is more than I can say for most convention attendees.
Seriously what just happened?
Go to any convention and try this: Take a drink every time you see a group of cosplay girls with 5-10 sketchy as fuck, unshowered, greasy haired male photographers clambering for a shot. You’ll be dead from liver failure before you get past the galleria. You know the type, some jackhole who is age 24-98 who has a telephoto lens that can get a better clear shot of the Pillars of Creation than the hubble telescope and can make a 6,200 megapixel jpeg of a girls single pore from 1,200 feet away. A fucking creeper is what I’m getting at.
Gross and, from what I hear, true for some places. Hopefully being reduced now thanks to effective harassment policies.
Look, I do female photography and I work damned hard NOT to be a creeper and I will admit, it’s hard. As a guy any time I get a camera in my hand I feel the urge to take a picture of hot chick but the thing is I can also control my breathing, NOT sweat profusely and kinda keep my shit in check so that I don’t convey the ultimate picture of a guy who is going to go home and knock his gong around the minute he gets that picture into Photoshop. Washing the bucket of grease out of your hair and not getting pathetically excited or frantic about shooting EVERY single girl at the con is a good start.
It sounds harder (excuse the pun) than it should be. But OK. Good for you. I’d hope he’d include the words “respect” and “person” (and maybe “women”?) but that’s OK, kind of.
Not that they’d have sex with you anyways.
They wouldn’t know what to do with a live penis.
I always love (i.e. hate) the description of “live penis” like this entity that exists to test women. I always think of the snakes in Prometheus.
Speaking of swords, that’s another thing and this one isn’t limited to the chicks- cosplayers, your swords are fucking ridiculous. In the world of fake weaponry nothing is more absurd than a sword so huge you could cut a slice of cake from 2 zipcodes away but you actually COULDN’T because it’s made of duct tape. As a fan of fake weaponry I have to say, it’s got to be enough that it doesn’t work, don’t add to it by making it utterly functionless as well.
Oh, OK. So now we’re targetting poor weaponsmiths. Not just slutty cosplay girls?
The other problem is, these girls don’t just stick to the anime conventions, nope. They have started invading Sci-Fi conventions as well.
“Invading”? I forgot that there are gatekeepers who only let in those who can answer all 999 “geek” questions, in Klingon, making sure your dress is below the knee and show minimal skin before letting you in. (Men are not tested, though, obviously).
I know most of your 64 points of IQ went into deciding what blue wig you needed to wear so you could properly represent the image of some bullshit character, but ANIME AND SCI-FI ARE NOT THE SAME THINGS DUMBASS.
Yeah! Anime is Japanese animated products and sci-fi is a genre that animated products can be! Yes, there exist an extensive range of sci-fi anime but… but that’s not the point!
Sci-fi is never anime!
I mean, unless it is. But they’re not the same thing! Just like theatre and Shakespeare aren’t the same thing so you can’t just dress Shakespearean to a theatre convention!
I mean, you can. But… Look, they’re not the same thing and I know the difference – a difference I’ve decided on – and that’s what matters!
You’re the same types of people who go to a Japanese restaurant and demand eggrolls because you’re too god damned self obsessed to realize THIS SHIT DOESN’T CONCERN YOU.
Eggrolls don’t concern me? What if I want eggrolls?
Or is he saying that cosplay girls who attend conventions aren’t concerned? If they’re not concerned, why would they make the effort to attend? Oh, I suppose they’re just trying to be “slutty”. But… isn’t there better, more lucrative ways to do that than in an arena renowned for its sexism and terrible treatment and perception of women (as is evidenced right here).
You’re so desperate to spread yourself around that you try to shoehorn your bullshit into ANY event no matter how inapplicable it truly is.
“Spread yourself”? What? And what “bullshit”? I don’t know what’s happening right now. Does he mean he dislikes their inability to answer the 999 “geek” questions?
You dumbasses show up to Sci-fi conventions dressed as anime characters, renaissance festivals dressed as pirates never thinking twice that you’re about as accurate as a harpoon used for sewing purposes.
Um. Again: anime can be sci-fi. Unless there’s a criteria for what that means that excludes anime. Also, why get angry at people not knowing what’s “appropriate”? Does their presence so destroy the environment that people (i.e. men) like him can’t function? Because how can they enjoy their convention when there are people who don’t know the answers to the 999 questions within the same sacred vicinity!
That’s cosplayers in general, people who want to jam a square cock into a round vagina any chance they get.
This needs to be read in full.
When I first started going to the local Star-Fest/Sci-Fi conventions there was one basic category of attendees – Shitty looking 30-45 year old men with pot bellies who lived their off hours outside of being ardent coders by sleeping on the parent pillow. I rested comfortably knowing that if I were to go to a convention I would be surrounded by fat fucktards who smelled like bad butter and who would be wearing Klingon foreheads and giant oversized glasses from Lens Crafters that went out of style in 1982.
The problem is, as with any convention that is unconventional, it becomes a dumping ground for all the other crap that doesn’t fit anywhere else. People go “Oh look, people who are weird are here, I’m weird too so I won’t bother checking to see if my weirdness is COMPATIBLE, I’ll just dump my ass in there!”
Now all this could be ignored if I could just write it off on the same ticket that we give male cosplayers and sci-fi fans an active out with, namely that it’s excusable because you’re a nerd, socially retarded and don’t know any better because you spent all your life watching Star Trek, but that’s not the case. They’re not real nerds either.
What are “real nerds”? Please. Tell me. Someone. And “real” geeks? What are these nonsense categories? Just love and enjoy things.
Call yourself these terms if you wish – they seem quite dated and high-schoolish to me – but don’t use them as barriers to treat others as lesser persons. Their love doesn’t undermine yours; their inabilty to know as much as you doesn’t undermine your knowledge or love or passion. It makes no sense to get this upset and so bizarre in your anger, when these people’s less impressive knowledge – but maybe equally devoted love – causes you to write tirades and create bogus terms like “real nerds”.
A few weeks back I was at the club and some girl is going off on what a nerd she is. What were her credentials?
[Her "credentials were"] Playing Call of Duty and Portal nonstop. That was it.
Er. That’s it? Is there course work she didn’t complete at the Geek University that you’re the Dean of?
I had to point out that being a GAMER is not the same as being a nerd but she just kinda looked at me as though I told her gravity was a liquid and it tasted like gummy bears. Great dumbass, you think playing video games makes you an intellectual elite with a taste for high quality fantasy? It doesn’t.
Ah! So nerd is “intellectual elite with a taste for high quality fantasy”.
Well, I hope no one ever calls themselves a nerd again because no one should refer to herself as an “intellectual elite” unless you’re a Nobel science laureate or equivalent. And even then, you don’t hear these amazing people refer to themselves as elite.
What’s interesting is that he conveys complete honesty, which is both insightful and equally worrying.
Am I bitter? Absolutely, 100%. Why? Because as someone who grew up being ostracized for being a dork ass outsider, someone who was routinely ridiculed by girls for not liking sports and trendy music I can I.D. shallow bitches from a mile away and it pisses me the hell off to see girls who most assuredly would have been treating nerd boys like lepers in middle school now capitalizing on their attention later in life because being a nerd is cool.
This is the most honest explanation for nerdrage at “girls” I’ve read. There’s not much to say here.
This is not justification and that’s the problem: he and others like him appear to have this as their biographical detail leading to their anger, then build an empire of elitist nonsense and create a knee-jerk gatekeeping inquisition. The justifications are non-existent and make no sense, but that’s due to them being forced to articulate their anger – which, once articulated, is recognised as being unjustified and holding no water.
An abused child who grows up to abuse his wife doesn’t get a free pass due to biography. Thus “nerds” who use their anger at being ostracised and seeing their precious franchises and hobbies become mainstream do not get a free pass for their anger either.
Lastly, Anime, I gotta say it… one thing you probably don’t realize is that anime isn’t a brilliant art form. You think it is because you have no frame of reference aside from flipping your shit in groups of 10 at the San Rio store but it’s actually kinda crap in Japan.
Well, no. Certain anime. But… wait. Are we judging girls for being slutty, poor costumers, poor weaponsmiths or having poor taste?
If you had ever been to Japan you’d know that pretty much EVERYTHING in that place is accented with drawings so cute that they shit cartoon cats. In Japan Anime isn’t really this esteemed art form, it’s pulp, you’re celebrating something mass produced with very little attention to quality.
You may only like things that are not popular to be a “true” nerd, remember? As I say, good thing no one should try to be a “true” nerd then.
At any rate, if you agree with this sentiment, feel free to cross post it. If you hate it and want me dead because I insulted you and your group of squeeling, Companion Cube loving friends feel free to direct your friends here to give me what for, seriously, burst your hearts hot shell upon me. I can imagine nothing better than a frothing group of cosplayers attempting to accost me at the next Sci-Fi convention with their giant tape swords and hand painted Mavaricks with pressure gauges hot glued to them.
Or, you know, it’s possible to disagree with your argument via the same format you produced it?
UPDATE: Reader “besomkya” alerted me to this wonderful site selling the best T-Shirts on this issue, summarised by the Doubleclicks
Profits from the awesome T-shirts go to AppCamp4Girls which is “a place where girls can put their creative power to work, concepting and building apps, while learning more about the business of software and being inspired by women who are professional software developers”.