So it’s Christmas—my Christmas—my secular day; The Supreme Court decided it must be that way. As a secular holiday, Christmas can stay, With department-store Santa Claus, there on display, Or with Rudolph, or some other TV cliché, And your photograph taken in front of the sleigh. If you want, you can use this occasion to …
Category Archive: The War Against Christmas
Nov 25 2011
It’s Tough To Be Christian (When Christmastime Comes)
It’s tough to be Christian, when Christmastime comes, What with Santa, and reindeer, and elves, With other religions, or secular folks, And people who think for themselves The Christian religion has changed, over time, And it makes us all anxious as hell, When the season arrives, and it’s not just for us, But for other …
Nov 22 2011
The Night Before (The War On) Christmas
Another loooooong day today. Might have time to write something new later tonight, but for now, a favorite I had forgotten about! Don’t worry that it’s about the War On Christmas–I promise, it has a happy ending. ‘Twas the night before Christmas; the Christians all hunkered In basements of buildings they’d armored and bunkered. They …
Nov 21 2011
Another Atheist Christmas Card
Ok, this one really takes the “let’s out-Hallmark Hallmark” and runs with it. Cuttlefamily’s first christmas cards have begun arriving–one from a cousin who has an album of christmas hymns out. Seriously. Her cards always–always–have a bible verse, and a poem that is weapons-grade glurge. So, below the fold… weapons-grade atheist glurge. Do not click …
Nov 21 2011
An Atheist Christmas Card
A few years ago, I got a really sappy christmas card from the mail carrier. Its true purpose, of course, was to provide an easy way for us to deliver him a Christmas tip. Tis the season, after all. But it started me thinking–how hard can this card-writing business be? Anyway, this one is a …
Nov 20 2011
The War Against Christmas Comes Early
(I know, it’s not yet Thanksgiving. A-I’m busy. B-stores have been in christmas mode for a month already. C-you need time to rehearse these verses if you’re going to deliver them at the Christmas pageant.) From the Cape of Good Hope to the Newfoundland islands, The sands of Iran to the Panama isthmus; From Outback …
Nov 18 2011
An Atheist’s Christmas
So I saw a tweet today (I won’t link–go search if you want) that went “FACT: athiests(sic) CANNOT celebrate Christmas. #youreallhypocrites” Silly person; celebrating what currently goes by the name “christmas” started long before her religion did, and trying to tell people they aren’t allowed to eat and drink and celebrate with friends and family …
Nov 17 2011
‘Tis The Season
Two things. First, although I have not yet seen a full-blown apoplectic Fox News meltdown on it yet (perhaps I just missed it), little hints here and there tell us that the annual War On Christmas has begun. So without further ado, this year’s song: In mega-malls and coffee shops In giant chains and mom-and-pops …
Oct 11 2011
Sir, Put The Souvenir Down And Walk Away
The war against terror and the war against christmas have opened a continuous front; the TSA is warning the flying public that they must not bring their snow globes with them, or they’ll be confiscated. Snow globes. Just in case, I suppose, the clear liquid is nitroglycerin. I suspect the TSA hires grade schoolers, and …
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