(The War On) The War On The War On The War On Christmas

It’s Christmas! It’s war! We are under attack!
Though the media try to deny it—
Those liberal bastards are all high on crack
If they think they are worthy to try it!

The War Against Christmas, of course, is quite real—
It’s the fault of the liberal news—
When exposed, it’s a fact that they’d rather conceal,
But that battle is one they will lose!

They’re waging a war on the war against Christmas,
To keep it from gaining attention—
If any war must be remembered, then this must;
For reasons too many to mention!

Where Christians had always controlled the town square
There are atheists trying to change it!
Now all sorts of heathens—it’s too much to bear—
Think it’s equally theirs to arrange it!

The nativity scene by the courthouse was fine
In a land where majority rules
And the chorus could sing of a savior divine
In a pageant, in all public schools

But our place at the courthouse—our place at the top
Was attacked by the atheist horde
And when activist judges said Christians must stop
It was like they were slapping the Lord

They tell us it isn’t attack, but defense—
They’re defending our dear constitution!
The must think we’re really incredibly dense
To believe hating God’s a solution.

We’ll accept nothing less than complete recognition
That Christ is what Christmas is for!
Till then, I’m declaring, this season’s great mission:
The war on the war on the war!

Context, after the jump:

Over on NewsBusters (“Exposing & Combating Liberal Media Bias”), Erin R. Brown rants about “The War on the War on Christmas”.

Every year, millions of Christians that celebrate the birth of their Savior are faced with the attacks on Christmas – “holiday trees,” atheist ad campaigns and even outright blasphemy in mocking nativity scenes. To Christians and conservatives, the evidence is overwhelming. But in recent years, the left and the mainstream media have actively denied that the war even exists.

That’s right, Christmas is under attack, by those who celebrate it differently than Erin R. Brown does, or (gasp!) perhaps don’t celebrate it at all. Atheists with their own traditions? That’s an attack. Pointing out the pagan roots? Attack. Complain that it’s too commercial? Attack. Complain that it is (or is not–works either way) in stores since before Halloween? Attack. Respecting (or even acknowledging) other religious celebrations? Attack. And now, in a deliberate disinformation campaign, liberals are actively denying that there is a war on Christmas. That’s right, they are waging a war on the war on Christmas!

From the hard left gang of current and former MSNBC personalities to CNN hosts to Huffington Post writers, the watch words have been “fake” and “phony” and “ridiculous.” With varying degrees ire, they’ve blamed Fox News and the “Christian right” for the “manufactured outrage” at attacks on Christmas.

Aw, she forgot to mention me. She then lists a number of trivial slights, where Christian privilege has been recognized and corrected, as battles in this war. Oh, it’s real, all right. Forget Iwo Jima, were you there when they renamed the Rhode Island Christmas Tree a “Holiday Tree”? Bloody business, that was. We lost some good Christians in that one.

It’s a weapons-grade rant, and worth reading just to remind yourself that people like Erin R. Brown really do exist. Her article is a worthy first shot in the war on the war on the war on Christmas. I can only hope that my own verse serves as the war on the war on the war on the war on Christmas, and that somehow she reads it and responds. I love the smell of recursiveness in the morning. It smells like… balsam fir.

The War Against Christmas Comes Early One of my favorites, contrasting the solemn observation of Christmas in early America with the modern celebration.

An Atheist’s Christmas Answers the question “why would an atheist want to celebrate Christmas?” Another favorite.

An Atheist Christmas Card Just a wee bit snarky. Mostly sweet. Historically accurate.

Another Atheist Christmas Card Weapons-grade glurge, but I’ve already had some people tell me this one is their favorite.

‘Tis The Season This year’s earlier offering. It’s actually a song, if only I were a singer.

The War On Christmas, Explained Blunt, for those who are unclear on the concept. Not terribly poetic, though.

It’s Tough To Be Christian (When Christmastime Comes) A lament. It’s always nice to put yourself in the other person’s shoes.

This Means War! (on Christmas) A brief explanation of the War.


  1. DonZilla says

    Thanks Cuttle, that was brilliant!!!

    The Christ was taken out of Christmas when it was declared a national holiday. If Christians want Christmas to be sacred again, get it back in church where it belongs, and use PTO or take the day off unpaid to celebrate it, like members of all the other religions have to do for their holidays.

    The “War on Christmas” is nothing but a war for American cultural dominance, pure and simple.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *